Because You Loved Me
by Seldenta
Summary: After Deans death at the claws of a werewolf, Sam struggles to survive while Castiel finds a way to bring Dean back, while keeping Sam alive. Sequel to Forever United Warnings: Slash M/M , Incest, Graphic scenes, Strong language
1. I Will Remember You

Name: Because You Loved Me

Plot: After Deans death at the claws of a werewolf, Sam struggles to survive while Castiel finds a way to bring Dean back, while keeping Sam alive.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I owned Jared though, hes fucking hot. Jensens alright too...I guess.

Chapter 1: I Will Remember You

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><p>It had been months, months since his heart and soul had been ripped out. Months since his single reason for living had been ripped away from him, taken before his time. Months since Castiel had told him he'd try his best to bring Dean back. It'd been months since Sam had a proper meal...or shower for that matter. He did nothing but hunt, driving himself into the ground and when he wasn't trying to get himself killed by the supernatural he was drinking his life away just to remember, just to hear Deans voice.<p>

Pulling into the parking lot of a local bar Sam killed the engine to the Impala, the only thing he gave a damn enough to take care of, to maintain. He could care less if he fell over dead, or got an infection but he'd be damned if Dean came back and he had neglected the one thing Dean loved besides him. Pushing the door open, he pulled the keys from the ignition and slowly pushed himself out of the car, stumbling as he shut the car door behind him. His green eyes were glazed over, his hair oily and sticking together. He didn't care what he looked like, he had no reason to look like he should. He shoved the car keys into his pocket, his hand closing around his phone tighter and he slowly moved into the bar, ignoring how people moved the fuck outta his way.

Slowly he made his way to the bar and sat on one of the bar stools, far away from the other people. Whenever someone looked at him they were greeted with the worlds coldest glare, and after a few moments they'd look away. He didn't have to wait long, before the bar tender walked up to where he was sitting. "What can I get ya?" He asked, to which Sam replied gruffly. "Whiskey." The bar tender seemed to eye him for a few moments before he snorted "I think you're already wasted enough Son." Sam knew he reeked of alcohol and B.O But he didn't give a fuck. "If you were going to deny me a drink why'd you waste both our time asking?" Sam snarled back to the man, his cold stare meeting the mans who blanched at the emptiness in those eyes. He glanced around before reaching down for the shot glasses, and poured Sam the drink. "Only one. What happened to you boy?" The bar tender asked as he slid the glass to Sam. "My reason for living died." Sam said with slightly less hostility, and went to pay the man. The bar tender shook his head "On the house."

Sam knew before he heard the mans voice, that Castiel had arrived to ruin his evening fun with his lecturing. "Fuck off Castiel." He snarled. "Is that anyway to speak to a friend Samuel?" Castiel asked settling himself on the bar stool near Sam, ignoring the cool glare he was getting that most would say 'if looks could kill' in reference to. "A friend wouldn't be sitting on their ass when they could be rectifying a situation!" Sam snarled before he snatched the shot glass full of whiskey off the bar and downed it in one go, slamming the glass back down. "Thanks." He said curtly to the bar tender before he stood and moved towards the exit of the bar, knowing well enough that Castiel would follow.

They walked out to the Impala and Sam rounded on Castiel, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well?" He asked, raising a brow. "Sam...Destroying yourself isn't going to bring Dean back..." "I know that Castiel! But you said you'd bring him back, you told me you would! Its been months Cas..MONTHS!" "I said I'd try Samuel, and I'm well aware how long it has been." "Then why haven't you fucking done it yet!" "Because I'm having to watch you! To keep you from becoming a monster!" Those words caused Sam to buckle, his knees to give way and eyes to glaze over even more.

_"I'm the only one who can do this, Dean." At this Dean turned around, anger being the strongest emotion expressed, along with the hurt. "No your not going to be the one to do this." "Right thats right I forgot, the angels think its you" He snapped, his anger getting the better of him. Why couldn't Dean just understand? Deans eyebrows rose as his eyes narrowed "You don't think I can?" "No you cant." Okay so that was probably the wrong thing to say, defiantly considering how this just seemed to piss Dean off more. Yet he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "Your not strong enough." "And who the hell are you?" "I'm being practical here, i'm doing what needs to be done." "Yea? Your not going to do a single damn thing." Dean replied in the same tone he always used when giving orders. Sams anger spiked and he spat back "Stop bossing me around Dean!" Sucking in a deep breath he tried to reign in his anger. This was dean, his big brother... the guy he loved. He was just trying to protect him, but Sam was trying to protect Dean as well. "Look, my whole life" I've loved you. He thought. "You took the wheel, you called the shots and I trust you, because your my brother now i'm asking you for once, trust me!" God how he wanted Dean to accept, to trust him. To let him protect Dean for once._

_Dean wasn't having it though, as his head began to shake. A sigh escaped Sam before Dean spoke. "No, you don't know what your doing Sam." "Yes I do!" "Thats worse!" "Why? Look I'm telling you -" "Because its not something your doing its what you are!" Dean shouted in rage. Hurt flitted across Sams face as his heart cracked more. "It means" But dean stopped. "What? No." Tears had already welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision and threatening to overflow. Dean swallowed heavily as he continued to stare at Sam, his Sammy."Say it." "It means your a monster" Sam nodded, looking away as his jaw clenched._

"Samuel!" Sam jerked and glanced...up? Castiel was squatted down next to him, and Sam had some how ended up on the ground. "What happened?" He whispered, rubbing his eyes. "You fainted...I think it's time you got back to the motel." Castiel replied, pulling Sam up and helping him into the Impala. However as he tried to shut the door Sams hand grasped his trench coat. "Cas?" Sam said quietly. "Yea?" Castiel replied, not bothering to free his coat from Sams grip. "Get Dean back, please?" Sams voice broke on the last word, and Castiel nodded "I'm getting closer." Sam nodded and closed the door, starting the Impala and heading back to the Motel room.

The next morning Sam woke up with his head pounding, he'd had several beers before he even headed out to the bar. Groaning he rolled over in the bed and blindly reached for the aspirin and water on the night stand. Opening the bottle he grabbed eight of the pills and popped them in his mouth before draining the glass of water. He continued to lay there for several minutes, before the tell tale flutter of wings alerted him to Castiels presence. "What now Castiel?" He groaned out, his arm across his eyes as he waited for relief. "You need to get up and shower Samuel, and eat." Castiel replied. This wasn't the first time the Angel had come and demanded that Sam shower and eat, and he normally did so to humor Castiel but today he didn't want to get up.

"Later." Sam replied lazily, rolling to face away from the Angel. "Sam, I know you don't want to get up but you have to. I'll have a surprise for you later...and you need to be groomed and fed for it." Now this was a first, this got his attention. Sam pulled the covers back and sat up in the bed, blearily looking over at the angel. "Fine fine." Sam extracted himself from the bed, and moved towards his duffle bag and began to dig through it before pulling out the last clean clothes he had. Walking into the bathroom Castiel waited until he heard the shower, before he left to get his friend some food.

Thirty minutes later Sam emerged clean and fresh, to find Castiel sitting on the end of his bed with a ceasar Salad, toast, and Orange Juice for him. "Thanks Cas." Sam whispered as he moved towards the bed. He knew that the Angel was trying his best, and that taking care of Sam on top of everything else was trying for the Angel. He knew he shouldn't be wallowing, and that he'd lost a lot of weight...more so then he thought if the shocked look that crossed the usual stoic angels face was anything to go by. "It's no problem, Samuel. Though do try and eat all of it?" Castiel asked as he handed Sam his meal as he sank down onto the bed. Castiel smiled slightly at his friend before he stood and moved to stand near the wall. Sam was used to the Angels odd behavior, like preferring to stand instead of sitting and such. He opened the salad and covered it with his favorite dressing before stabbing a piece of lettuce and slowly chewing it once it was placed in his mouth.

Castiel smirked at this and shook his head, it was the same every time. Sam would make sure to exaggerate every piece he ate, to show he ate it. It always amused and saddened Castiel, amused because it was funny to see the more mature Winchester acting like a spoiled kid not getting their way, Sad because of how much weight Sam had lost during these months, and he knew that Dean would not be pleased when he was brought back with Sam the way he was. He just hoped that Sam wasn't so far gone, that even Deans presence couldn't turn the man around...he knew how much they relied on each other, after everything else that'd happened.

Once Sam was finished with his breakfast – what he could eat of it – Castiel threw the rest away and then grabbed a blindfold. "Ah blindfold eh? Who ever knew you had kinks Cas." Sam commented as Castiel tied it on and made sure he couldn't see. Castiel didn't reply except for an amused snort, before he moved away from the bed. "Stay." He ordered, and with a flutter of wings disappeared. He appeared before Dean, who stared at him with a grin plastered across his face. "Can I go to Sammy now?" He asked, practically bouncing up and down where he stood. "Yea..But Dean I should warn you." "About?" Castiel sighed. "Sams not the...same as he was before." "What do you mean?...Cas? Whats wrong tell me please?" Castiel shook his head. "You'll see." Was all he said before grabbing Deans arm and only letting go when they reappeared before Sam. Dean gasped as he stood, staring at a blindfolded Sam...but this Sam was skin and bones.

Dean didn't wait for a reaction, when he saw his Sammy looking like a skeleton he was pissed and happy, he crossed the distance between them and pulled off the blindfold only seconds before crushing his lips against Sams. Sam gasped at the sudden assault, and Dean took advantage, plunging his tongue into Sams mouth and searching out every inch... Sam didn't respond at first, but as soon as his senses clicked that this was Dean he threw his arms around Deans neck and fell backwards pulling his brother down on top of him as he sighed and moaned into the kiss. Dean barely had time to brace himself when Sam pulled him down, and as his tongue caressed his brothers, and heard his brothers moan. He had missed this, missed his Sammy but all too soon in Deans opinion the need for oxygen became to much and he reluctantly broke this kiss, but he didn't move away. Instead his lips moved down over Sams jaw and down his neck, nipping and soothing the skin as he moved. Castiel who had been standing there the whole time, trying to see if they'd stop on their own cleared his throat when Dean began to strip Sam of his shirt.

Dean shifted his weight, not breaking any contact with his brother to hold up one hand...well one finger towards their angel friend which caused Castiel to roll his eyes. "Dean. Sam." He tried again and succeeded though was rewarded for his efforts with identical death glares. "Shoo fly." Dean grumbled before turning his affections back to his brother who moaned and eyes fluttered shut. "De..Gods...We need to talk...he's right." Dean tensed and huffed before rolling off of Sam and shot another glare at Castiel, because this whole stopping thing was HIS fault.

Castiel just stared blankly back at Dean which caused Sam to smirk because he knew that Castiel would win any stubborn stare down Dean was trying to have. Sitting up Sam leaned into his brothers side, head resting against the top of Deans. This of course reminded Dean about his brother being a walking, talking, and breathing skeleton. Turning his attention to Sam he raised one of his eyebrows. "Why can I feel every single rib you have, as well as your Spine Sam?" He asked in a deadpan tone.

Castiel took this as his que, and angeled out of the room after receiving a grateful smile from Sam. Sam had the decency to look ashamed, even if only slightly. "I missed you...you are my reason for living and while I had Castiel trying to find a way to get you back...I didn't have the urge to eat. I was hunting...and drinking...and I was alone...you promised me you'd stay with me and you left me De...I wanted my brother...my lover...I didn't want to be alone..." Sam replied, ending in a whisper with tears streaming down his face.

Dean stared at his brother before leaning towards Sam, one of his hands cupping his brothers face and brushing the tears away. "You're going to eat now, right?" He asked sternly. Only after Sam nodded, did he lean the rest of the way in and press a kiss to his brothers lips, pulling away only long enough to say "Good, Because I just got you back. I don't want to lose you. I'll kick your ass if you don't." Before they both collapsed back onto the bed.

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><p><em>AN: So, What do ya'll think for the start of Because You Loved Me. It is the sequel to 'Forever United'. I'll have the next chapter up ASAP. Reviews give me muse, so R&R with opinions or things ya want to happen to the boys._


	2. Say You Love Me

Chapter 2: Say You Love Me

Disclaimer: Still own nothing. Supernatural and the characters unless I create one of my own, belong to Kripke, lucky fuck.  
>Warnings: Graphic scene<p>

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><p>Dean made sure to cover his brother with most of his body when they collapsed back into the bed, his mouth securely pressed against Sams as their lips moved together. After a few moments Dean ran his tongue across Sams bottom lip, begging for entrance which was willingly given. Deans tongue dipped into the hot moist mouth of his brother, moaning at Sams taste as one of his hands moved up Sams side. His tongue caressed each inch of his brothers mouth, as his hand slipped under Sams shirt and began pushing it up. Dean was enjoying this, his eyes fluttering as he forced himself to keep his eyes opened. Sam had his opened as well, barely but they were and Dean could see those gorgeous green eyes staring up at him as they glazed over with lust.<p>

Much to soon the need for air became too much once more, and Dean trailed his lips down Sams jaw and towards his neck, nipping and licking the flesh as he went. A smirk spread across his face when Sam gasped and moaned deeply, arching into him when he bit down on Sams collar bone before sucking on the flesh there, making sure to leave a deep hickey on his brother. Once he was pleased with his work he pulled back and Sam whimpered at the loss before he sat up enough for Dean to remove Sams shirt. Once the offending material was removed he gently pushed Sam back down onto the bed and continued his descent making sure to cover every inch of his brothers flesh with his mouth. Dean wasn't often one to be emotional, but every now and then between kisses he muttered "I love you" Against Sams flesh.

Deans mouth covered one of Sams nipples, circling the dusty nub with his tongue and flicking it, smirking when Sam gasped and arched up towards him once more. He continued his assault on the tender flesh until it was hardened, before moving onto the other and laving it with the same attention. Sam groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, he was sure his brother was going to kill him with need. Dean slowly moved lower, his tongue circling Sams belly button before dipping into the opening, and pulling out before being thrust back in. A promise of what was to come, and he just loved watching as Sams stomach tensed with each thrust of his tongue, and how he moaned so prettily.

"De...Please." Sam moaned as his brothers hands began to undo his jeans, slowly sliding the zipper down and undoing the button. "Patience Sammy...We'll get there." Dean purred as he moved back up to press his lips to Sams once more. Sam whimpered when Deans tongue flicked his ear before he whispered "Its all about you...Relax...enjoy." Once Deans hands had Sams jeans open he slipped back down and began to pull them off, letting them drop to the floor at the end of the bed. Instead of moving right back up to remove his brothers boxers as well, he moved up slowly. Deans lips pressed kisses to the inside of his brothers leg, moving up oh so slowly until he was almost to where Sam wanted him the most, before he skipped that area and pressed a kiss to the other inside thigh causing Sam to groan out of frustration. However Deans fingers did dip inside the band of the boxers, and hooked before slowly pulling them down as he moved down his brothers leg. Soon the boxers joined Sams pants on the floor at the end of the bed and Dean was moving back up.

However instead of reaching his brothers mouth Dean stopped at his brothers groin, and smirking at his brother he pushed Sams legs further apart before that devilish tongue ran over Sams entrance, Deans dick twitching at the long deep moan that came from Sam as he did so. Deans eyes closed slightly, before he ran his tongue over his brothers hole again, pressing firmer against it and enjoying the moan that came from Sam once more. "Gods...De...Please!" Sam groaned as he pressed back against Deans tongue. Dean pulled back and grinned "Please what Sammy?" He purred, staring up at his brother with half lidded eyes. "Please...tongue fuck me!" Sam half whined half growled and Dean felt a spark of desire hit him. Dean pressed a kiss to Sams thigh and murmured "I love you." Before he ran his tongue across Sams hole once more, then pressed the tip against the tight ring of muscles and with some work and several minutes, finally breeched them and closed his eyes at the feeling of his brothers body squeezing down on his tongue. He continued to push his tongue in, flicking it inside of his brother and felt a tingle go down his spine when Sam screamed in pleasure. Deans lips closed around his brothers entrance, and he pulled his tongue out before thrusting it back in, flicking it when he did.

Sam began to press backwards, head thrashing from side to side as Dean continued to tongue fuck him. He loved it when his brother did this for him, he remembered it was one of the first things they did after his rape. He snapped out of such thoughts when the familiar tightness in his stomach was about to snap. "De! Ima!" He cried out.

Dean smirked around his brothers entrance and picked up the speed of his thrusts with his tongue after his brothers warning. Sam tensed below him and shuddered as he released all over his stomach. Dean continued thrusting through his brothers orgasm and once it was over pulled his tongue out, but pressed one last kiss to his entrance before he moved up and began to lick Sam clean. Sam glanced down and saw his brother licking up his cum, and smirked at the sight. "I love you De." He breathed, reaching a hand down towards his brother who crawled up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Love you too, Sammy." Dean laid down next to Sam, ignoring his throbbing erection as he brushed the sweaty hair from Sams face.

"De?" Sam whispered, he could feel his brothers erection and wanted to have his brother fill him. "Hm?" Dean replied, continuing to stroke Sams head. "Make love to me?" Sam asked, peering up at Dean who'd laid down further up the bed. "Ya sure?" Dean asked softly. "Yes...You didn't..." Dean chuckled and shook his head "Told you, tonights about you." He replied pressing a kiss to Sams forehead. "Oh? Well I want you to make love to me...Please...fill me." Dean smiled "Happily." He had meant It when he said the night was about Sam, he didn't care if he was aching with need...he wanted to take care of his brother.

Dean sat up and slowly removed his shirt before he rolled back on top of Sam, and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, smiling when Sam opened his mouth right off rip. This time however Sams hands ran up and down Deans bared body, seeming to memorize the flesh once again as Deans tongue caressed his and even lured it into Deans mouth where he proceeded to allow Sam dominance of the kiss, moaning as his brother explored his mouth. When the need of Oxygen became to much once more, Deans lips trailed down his brothers body following the same path that they had before, once again whispering against his brothers skin. "Love you Sammy..." "God...need you Sammy." "Let me love you Sammy?" Sam moaned and continued to run his hands over every inch of flesh he could reach, answering his brothers whispered words in gasps. "Love you De.." As well as "Then take me." and "Make love to me...please."

Dean regretfully had to pull back long enough to strip out of his jeans and boxers, as well as get the lube from Sams duffel bag. He then moved back towards the bed, slipping between Sams legs once again. "You're sure?" He asked his brother once again, staring into those bright green eyes. "Always De...Always want you..need you." Sam whispered back to him, his own eyes half hooded. Dean leaned up then and kissed him passionately as he lubed up three of his fingers, slowly slipping the first one into Sams entrance. Sam groaned and pressed back against his finger as Dean wriggled it around for a few moments before slowly introducing a second one to the bunch. Sam tensed slightly and Dean paused waiting for him to relax before he began to scissor him open and crooked his fingers to find his prostate. When Sam gasped and arched upwards to the point he was sure his brother would snap his back he was sure he found it. A smug smirk spread across Deans face, as he continued to stretch his brother until he was sure he was ready. Pulling his fingers out he kissed Sams neck when he whimpered at the loss, focusing on coating his dick in lubricant before he shifted to rest over his brother, pressing against Sams entrance. "Ready?" He asked, searching until Sam nodded and Dean slowly pressed into him.

Dean knew some wouldn't be so gentle, but he knew of his brothers past...and never wished to trigger any of those flashbacks when he was with Sam like this. Pausing once he was seated to the hilt, he waited until Sam pushed back against him to pull out and thrust back in, slowly picking up speed. Dean gasped and groaned out "Fuck! Sam...So tight...fuck." As he continued his slowish thrusts, angled directly for his brothers prostate. "MMM God...Faster!" Dean chuckled "Dean will do." But complied and thrust into his brother faster, quickly feeling the coil tightening. "Damn...Sammy...can't last..." Dean gasped out, thrusting into his brother. "mmm Me neither De!" "Cum with me." Dean whispered, tensing as he thrust one last time before he came inside his brother as Sam covered them in his own release, both crying out the others name as they did so.

Deans arms buckled once he came down from his high and he collapsed on top of Sam for a few moments before rolling off to the side after gently pulling out of his brother. "Missed ya baby boy." Dean breathed into Sams ear. "I missed you too." Sam and Dean drifted off to sleep, Sam resting slightly further down the bed so his head could rest on Deans chest, with Deans arms wrapped around him and vice versa.

They woke several hours later to find Sam stretched across Deans chest, his head nuzzled up under Deans chin. Dean of course didn't mind, and tightened his arms around Sams middle when his brother tried to slip away from him. "De..." Sam playfully whined as he weakly struggled to get away. Dean smirked "What?" He asked, peering down at his brother before a glint came to his eyes and he began to tickle his brother. "De! Stop!" Sam gasped out between bouts of laughter. Dean continued to tickle his brother relentlessly until Sam could barely get a breath between laughs. "You give?" Dean asked and when Sam nodded he stopped his assault on his brothers sides, rolling to the side and bringing Sam with him who was gasping for air. Sam glared at his brother for a few minutes as his breathing returned to normal. He then leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to Deans lips. "Love you...even if you are a Jerk." Sam mumbled, so only Dean could hear. This made Dean chuckle "Yea well, I love you even if you are a bitch."

Sam huffed at that and went to pull away from Dean again, only to have those strong arms keep locked around his waist. "Where do you think you're going?" Dean growled pulling Sam back against him. "I'm getting up Dean." Sam replied, gasping when he felt his brothers erection pressed against his ass. "Really? So am I." Dean purred as he rolled on top of his brother again, needless to say they wouldn't be leaving the bed for hours yet. In Deans mind, he had months to make up for and he would be damned if he let any chance he got to touch Sam slip between his fingers. Sam tried weakly to claim they had to get up and find a hunt, but Dean brushed it off with saying tomorrow..and doing very naughty things to his brother.

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><p><em>AN: Whoo! So what did ya'll think? This chapter is just a sort of 'Im here, alive, I missed you' kind of chapter. R&R? Still working on chapter three. So, what do ya'll think of this fanfic just being their day to day lives? Or should they keep hunting? Opinions are great!_


	3. You're Not Alone

Chapter Three: You're Not Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Supernatural and characters belong to Kripke

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><p>It'd been three days since Castiel brought back Sams reason for living. Three days since he started eating properly again though it wasn't much...small meals but he ate all he could with Dean sitting right at his side watching him. They fell asleep in each others arms every night, and when Sam woke up to Dean thrashing in his sleep he was quick to comfort his brother, holding his protector against him and shielding him from the demons that haunted him in the night. Demons that he'd revealed to be just nightmares, nightmares of Sam dieing and him being left helpless and unable to save him. Sam knew the pain for real, it'd haunted him for months and thus he had no issues with the reversed roles.<p>

Last night had been no different, Dean had another nightmare and Sam was quick to wrap his arms around his brother, pulling him to his side and shushing his fears. Dean needed only to open his eyes, see those green eyes staring down at him before he clung to his brother with a low sigh and slowly the two had drifted off to sleep. Sam woke to the sounds of his brother distressed twice that night, and after the second time simply remained awake watching Dean as he slept, pressed up against his side. The sun came up too soon if you asked him, blinding him through the window to their motel room. Dean had decided that they should be heading home, home that sounded grand to Sam. He'd left Sirius with the neighbor, to watch over his dog as he drowned his sorrows over Deans death alone.

Now as Dean stirred beside him, groaning probably because the evil sun disrupted his slumber and Sams too as far as he knew. "Morning." Sam whispered softly as he rubbed circles in Deans back, smirking when Dean grumbled something into his chest that sounded like 'fuck off'. Sam chuckled at that, causing his chest to shake and Dean to lift his head just enough to shoot his brother a withering glare, well it was more squint at his brother considering the sun was blinding them.. "Close the shades." Dean growled burying his face back into Sams chest. A low snort escaped Sam at this, head shaking slightly "I'd be glad to, but I can't if you're clinging to me." He replied, nudging his brother playfully. "Fuck you." Dean huffed, shifting so he was laying on the bed. Sam grinned and rolled so he was hovering over his brother having shifted down the bed. "Are you offering?" He asked, quirking a brow at Dean and laughing when Dean glared at him and shoved him off of him and rolled onto his side. "Well, Someones not a morning person." Sam grumbled as he got out of their bed and pulled the shades down so the sun was blocked.

Sam then turned back towards the bed to find that Dean had rolled to face his side of the bed when he'd gotten up. Slowly Dean held out a hand and Sam moved towards the bed, crawling back in next to his brother. Once Sam was in the bed Dean rolled them so that he was hovering over his brother and leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Sams mouth. Dean pulled back then after the brief kiss and grinned when Sam pouted at him. "So adorable." Dean shook his head at the puppy dog eyes Sam was giving him and leaned down to kiss him once more, this time he nipped at Sams lower lip causing his brother to gasp and he took the chance to force his tongue into Sams mouth, caressing Sams tongue with his own. Dean reluctantly ended the kiss however after air became a much needed thing, rolling off to his side of the bed as Sam smiled at him. "Morning." Dean said as if that was the reason for his actions. Sam laughed at that, a fond smile in place "Some good morning." Sam replied jokingly, but Dean knew he wasn't being an ass.

Reluctantly the two of them got out of bed, and each took their turns taking a shower, much to Deans disappointment. When Sam emerged from the shower with the towel slung low around his hips, Dean couldn't help but smirk from his spot on the bed where he was pulling on his boots. Sam glanced up at him as he bent slightly, to dig in his duffel bag at the end of the bed. "What?" Dean asked, catching Sam looking at him. Sam smirked and shook his head as he pulled out his jeans and set them on the bed, next to a dark blue t-shirt and his hoodie that some thought was odd for him to wear..even when it was hot as all hell. "Nothing." He replied quietly, looking back at his clothes as he gathered them up and headed back towards the bathroom to dress. However strong arms wrapped around his waist pulling him back against the firm body behind him. "Where do you think you're going?" Dean asked as he pulled the towel open letting it drop to the ground. Sam glanced behind him before he turned in Deans embrace and smirked down at him. "To get dressed." He then leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Deans lips before successfully escaping Deans grip and bolting into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. "Saaaamm" Dean growled only to receive a laugh in response.

Ten minutes later Sam emerged once more, this time fully dressed. He settled down on the bed with his laptop in his lap, searching through news clips and such for possible hunts. Dean was leaning against the headboard next to him, peering over his shoulder to look at what he was pulling up. After several minutes Dean grew bored, and it showed by his fidgeting. Sam glanced over at him "Why don't ya go get lunch?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at his brother. Dean glared for a few moments before he moved off the bed and snatched the keys off the night stand. "Alright." Sam continued to watch him until Dean was out of the room and the door shut behind him. A low sigh escaped him as he relaxed back onto the bed and closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

Oh He loved his brother alright, he loved him more then life itself but the past three days with Dean watching his every move, and the repetitive sex it was grating on Sams last nerve. He'd lost count of how many times they'd fucked after ten...Sure he missed his brother, but he wanted them to do more then lay in bed all fucking day. "Problem?" Came Castiels voice causing Sam to jerk into the sitting position as he stared at the angel for a few moments before shaking his head. "No..." He snapped before collapsing back onto the bed and throwing his arm over his eyes. Castiel raised a brow at this, unfazed by the short answer from the younger Winchester.

"Really? So you look like shit because you want to?" He drawled as he leaned back against the wall. "Thanks Cas, really makes me feel better." Sam snarled. "Wasn't trying to. So. What's the problem?" He asked and waited as the silence stretched. "Dean...He..er...Doesn't wanna do anything but _Stay in bed all day_" He stressed the last few words hoping the angel would catch his meaning. Luckily Sam had his eyes covered because Castiel laughed silently at that. "I have a solution to that." He said causing Sam to drop his arm from his eyes.

"What?" He asked eagerly. "It seems that there are people being found petrified in Maryland Heights Missouri." Castiel replied. "Any clue what is causing it?" Sam asked, head cocking to the side slightly. Castiel shook his head but before he could speak the door opened and Dean walked in carrying two hamburgers and a salad for Sam. The elder Winchester glanced up after shutting the door behind him and paused for a second. "Whats Up Cas?" He asked as he moved over to the bed, handing Sam his Salad as he settled down on the bed next to his brother. "It seems some people were found in Missouri, petrified." Sam replied, reaching for the Salad as Dean settled down. "Really?" Dean asked glancing towards their Angel friend. "Yea. I need you to investigate it." Castiel drawled, glancing between the two Winchesters. "Sure. We'll leave today." Dean replied and watched as his friend nodded then vanished.

He never understood why Castiel only came when there was a job, or when they called him. But then again he was fighting that war in Heaven, against Raphael. "When today are we leaving?" Sam asked, leaning back against the headboard as he poured the dressing onto his salad and shaking it. "After we're done eating." Dean replied, smirking at Sam before he unwrapped his burger and took a bite. Sam simply nodded before he pulled the lid off his Salad once more, spearing a piece of lettuce with his fork. Dean glanced over, making sure his brother finished his Salad. Some would find it annoying, and Sam did at times...but he knew his brother only did it cause he loved him.

Twenty minutes later found the Winchesters packed and getting into the Impala, Dean in the drivers seat because after all it was his baby. Sam laughed at his brother, for he was currently petting the dash. "Oh I've missed you Babe." He said to the car, causing Sam to roll his eyes. "If ya'll need a room just let me know." He smirked thinking back to the last time he'd said that to his brother, it caused him to chuckle. Dean smirked "Don't listen to him baby. He's just jealous." Dean whispered loud enough for Sam to hear him. This caused Sam to snort and shake his head at his brothers antics. God how he'd missed him.

Silence stretched through the car, though it wasn't the uncomfortable silence...it was just there because they both knew there was no need to fill it with pointless chatter. Sam took the time to ponder, if anyone had ever loved someone as much as he loved Dean. Could they picture themselves dieing if they ever lost the one the loved, would they throw themselves in front of anything that threatened that one person? Would they give up anything...everything just to be with the one whom you love? He glanced at Dean out of the corner of his eye, lips curling into a smirk as Dean reached over to turn on the radio... Some would scream if all they listened to was old music...like AC/DC, Metallica, and many more but Sam found it endearing. He sighed softly, going back to his musings. Had anyone else ever had to go on without their soul mate? Had anyone else ever felt as though their meaning for living had been cruelly ripped from their gasp? Probably he figured, but it didn't matter because now he could feel those rips and tears in his heart mending every day that Dean was there, and fine.

Closing his eyes slowly he allowed his head to rest against the window as he drifted off to the sleep to the soft murmur of Metallica playing in the background. Dean knew when his brother fell asleep as he saw his breathing even out and become deeper. He turned the music up and glanced out the windshield focusing on driving, thankful to their friend for bringing him back...for watching over Sam while he was gone. Of course...Sams weight loss was a bit alarming, but Dean was working on rectifying that.

Several hours later Sam was woken when the car struck a bump in the road, smacking his head against the window. Slowly opening his eyes to realize it was dark. Shifting he sat up, glancing around before looking at Dean as the pulled into another run down motel. "Come On Sammy. Lets check in for the night." Dean muttered as he parked the car and got out, heading towards the office. Sam slowly extracted himself from the passenger seat and grabbed their duffels just in time to follow Dean to their room. Sam set the duffels down on the bed – which he noted there was only one – and sat down beside them rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Where are we?" He finally asked, watching as Dean salted the windows and door before locking them. "Camden Tennessee." Dean replied, replacing the salt into his duffel bag and collapsing onto the bed, after kicking off his shoes. Sam pulled off his own shoes before setting the duffels at the end of the bed on the floor and moving up the bed followed closely by Dean who looked exhausted. Sam reached over and unbuttoned Deans jeans, before undoing his jeans to have his hands swatted at. "To...Tired." Dean groaned his eyes closed.

Sam rolled his eyes "Fine, sleep in your Jeans." He huffed pulling off his own but keeping his boxers on. Dean opened one eye before he weakly tried to pull his jeans down, exaggerating his exhaustion to get Sam to do the work for him. It worked of course and soon enough both were tucked away under the comforter. "Night De." Sam whispered as his eyes drifted shut. Dean rolled onto his side, scooting closer to his brother and wrapping his arm around Sams waist, spooning him from behind. "Night. Love you." He whispered placing a brief kiss to the back of Sams neck. "Me...too." Sam replied, shifting back in Deans grip. Sam knew he'd have it no other way...least now he wasn't alone. It was just him and Dean, the way things were supposed to be.

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><p><em>AN: I had them stop because well my mom said it takes like a day if you drive none stop to get to Missouri from Florida. Figured Dean would wanna sleep after driving for hours, and not wanting to disrupt Sams sleep. Anyways Next chapter coming ASAP. R&R. Thanks._


	4. If Tomorrow Never Comes

Chapter Four: If Tomorrow Never Comes

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Supernatural and characters unless I make an original one, belong to Kripke...lucky bastard.

_Sometimes late at night_  
><em> I lie awake and watch him sleeping<em>  
><em> He's lost in peaceful dreams<em>  
><em> So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark<em>  
><em> And the thought crosses my mind<em>  
><em> If I never wake up in the morning<em>  
><em> Would he ever doubt the way I feel<em>  
><em> About him in my heart<em>

_ If tomorrow never comes_  
><em> Will he know how much I loved him<em>  
><em> Did I try in every way to show him every day<em>  
><em> That he's my only one<em>  
><em> And if my time on earth were through<em>  
><em> And he must face this world without me<em>  
><em> Is the love I gave him in the past<em>  
><em> Gonna be enough to last<em>  
><em> If tomorrow never comes<em>

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><p>Dean was the first one awake the next day, and it took him a second to remember where they were..because this was neither their last motel room nor their house in Florida. Once he remembered they were on their way to a potential hunt he slowly extracted himself from Sams grip, who was laying half on him with his arms wrapped around Deans waist. Sam whimpered and tightened his grip, a low "No." Came along with the whimper..though it was clear his brother was still asleep.<p>

Dean froze for a moment, taking the chance to notice that it was still dark outside so he settled down once more. Dean wrapped his arms around his brother and settled for simply watching his brother, something he'd deny if he was ever questioned about it. Slowly raising his free hand he brushed his brothers bangs from his face, caressing his face with his hand and smiling softly at how young...and handsome his brother looked in his sleep. All the stress and worry that Sam always carried with him seemed to be erased when he was sleeping, looking years younger then he was.

Sam moaned and leaned into the caress, his body shuffling closer to Deans and arms tightened around Deans waist. "De..." It was so quiet, barely a whisper as his brother took a breath. "I'm right here." Dean whispered quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to Sams head..since his brother had shuffled down the bed in their sleep to rest on Deans chest. Dean ignored the signs of neglect that his brother had inflicted upon himself, the dark shadows beneath his eyes..ribs protruding from his sides..no all Dean saw was his bright, healthy and fucking sexy brother as he laid there.

"My De..." Sam whispered nuzzling his face into Deans chest. Tears sprang to his eyes when the next words where whispered in Sams sleep. "No...De...Don't...Please...Come back!" Sams face scrunched up in obvious distress and Dean was left wondering not for the first time, how much pain he'd caused his brother the two times he died. "Shh...Its Okay Sammy...I'm not going anywhere." He whispered running his fingers through Sams hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Dean continued to hold his brother, quietly reassuring him whenever his dreams began to get restless that he was there for hours, watching as the sky turned pink as the sun began to rise above the horizon. He knew they'd have to get up to get a shower before they went to get breakfast and got on the road. Reluctantly he gently extracted himself from Sams grip and leaned down to whisper in his brothers ear. "Sammy.." "Mm..G'way." That made Dean smirk. "No...Come on Sammy, wake up..open your eyes for me."

He continued to whisper, despite his brother sleepily trying to push him away. "Wake up Sammy...come on..." "Mmm De?" Sam groaned slowly opening his eyes and rubbing the sleep from them before blinking blearily at him. "Come on, We gotta get going." Dean said at the questioning look he was getting. Sam rolled over and glanced at the clock "M'up." He yawned as he slowly sat up on the side of the bed. Dean smirked at his brother shaking his head. "Shower, Sleeping Beauty. Come on." Dean got up and grabbed his brothers hand pulling him up from the bed and walking him to the bathroom.

Once they were in the bathroom Dean stripped off their boxers, before leading Sam into the shower since he was still half asleep. However once the spray hit him he let out a high pitch yelp – which he'd totally deny later – and turned to glare at Dean, who was leaning against the shower wall laughing his ass off. "Whats wrong Sammy? Cold?" Dean asked, amusement glinting in his eyes. "Jerk..." Sam grumbled before picking up the wash cloth and stepping back into the spray once it'd warmed up some.

It didn't take long for them both to shower, and surprisingly Dean behaved himself...for the most part. Sam knew he couldn't fault his brother for the gropes...after all he was a man-whore. Sam honestly didn't mind...hell he was even guilty of starting a few of them but now as he stood with the towel slung low around his hips, digging through his duffel once more searching for something to wear that day. Finally deciding to settle upon a dark green t-shirt, his black hoodie, black jeans and his boots along with silver boxers. Moving back into the bathroom he dressed, and emerged a short time later fully dressed. Sams attention turned to Dean however, when his brother stood from the bed and grabbed their duffel bags. "Well, Lets get a move on." He said heading towards the door. Sam rolled his eyes at this, but trudged after his brother regardless.

It wasn't a very long drive before they came upon a quaint little diner they both agreed on as decent enough to eat at. Of course, they'd ate at seedy and questionable establishments before. Dean pulled into one of the empty parking spots, killing the car and getting out heading into the diner without even waiting on his brother. Sam of course was used to this, after all there was no reasoning with his brother when Dean was hungry. Thus he simply trailed after Dean, entering to hear the waitress speak. "How many sweetie?" She purred at Dean – another thing he was used to - "Two." Dean replied, his eyes roaming over the young waitress and causing Sam to growl lowly in his throat – to which Dean shot him a 'what the fuck' look – as he trailed after the waitress. Sam followed with a 'bitch face' firmly in place.

Sometimes Dean could be really oblivious, or maybe he knew and just didn't care. Sam never really knew, but he was currently testing his self control as he sat across from Dean watching as the waitress practically shoved her boobs in Deans face as she leaned around the menu to 'help' Dean. Sams knuckles were turning white from clenching them beneath the table as he tried to shoot lasers at the bitch with his eyes. Only after he cleared his throat, did she even notice him sitting there. "Oh. Sorry hun. What can I get you?" She asked him but turned her eyes back to Dean. Sam bit his tongue for the moment, knowing Dean couldn't stand jealous clingy bitches...he wouldn't be like that damnit. "Blueberry Pancakes with a side of hash browns and scrambled eggs. Maple syrup and a black coffee." He all but growled out, teeth clenched as he spoke. Though as Dean raised a brow at him he forced himself to add "Thanks."

She jotted down Sams order and turned towards Dean. "And you sweetie?" She had the guts to purr at Dean, who smiled sweetly at her in turn. "Scrambled eggs, two links of sausage, two bacon, toast, and black coffee." He replied glancing up at her as he closed the menu. "Alright. It'll be along shortly." She replied grabbing up the menus and making sure to brush Deans hand when she took hers. Sam clenched his teeth even more and glared at the retreating waitress. "Alright. What the hell Sam." Dean hissed beneath his breath once the waitress was out of hearing range. Sam just shot him a confused look "What?" He asked sweetly, knowing damn well what Dean meant. "What?" Dean snapped back sarcastically. "You know damn well what!" He growled. "Don't Dean. You can't honestly expect me to sit by while she practically sits in your lap!" He replied glaring at his brother. "I damn well can! It's just flirting Sam! If I wanted some clingy jealous BITCH i'd date a girl!" Dean hissed his own hands clenched. Hurt flashed across Sams face and Dean knew he fucked up. "Well then. Enjoy breakfast alone." Sam said as he stood up, slamming into the waitresses shoulder as he shoved past her and out the door.

Dean didn't chase after him, not that he really expected it. He knew he was a burden to his brother, had known before Dean died... Of course part of him had hoped it wasn't true. Shaking his head he refused to cry, though he could feel the tears stinging at the back of his eyes. Storming over to the Impala he reached in the back and grabbed his duffel bag before walking across the parking lot. It was times like these he missed Sirius, and longed to return to their house and just collapse into the bed and cuddle with his dog. However he knew there was a hunt, and he would find a way to Missouri if he had to walk. Heading to a near by bus stop he counted out how much money he had on his person and frowned slightly when he realized it was just shy of two hundred.

Sighing he started walking, tucking the money away in his duffel next to the spare gun, his main pearl handle gripped one tucked into the back of his pants. He doubted he'd get a ride, but he knew he'd have to try...to get away...to get to the hunt. However it didn't take long for someone to appear...although admittedly it wasn't what he was expecting. "What are you doing Samuel?" Castiel asked as he walked beside the taller man. "What's it look like?" Sam snapped back, though Castiel didn't let the Winchesters temper get to him.

"It looks like you're trying to get yourself mugged and or killed." Castiel deadpanned, forcing Sam to stop when he stepped in front of him. It was then that the angel noticed the drying tear tracks on Sams face, and his lips flickered downwards. "What did the idiot do now?" Had anyone else called Dean a idiot, even now..he would have defended him. However this was Castiel, the one person besides Sam that could handle Dean. "Nothing. I just. He...GOD!" Sam threw the duffel down at Castiels feet and spun around throwing his hands out in frustration.

"Of all the self centered, egotistical...ASSHOLE things!" Sam continued and Castiel let him, standing unfazed by the duffel bag simply watching as Sam paced and ranted. Sam eventually turned towards the angel. "He told me he expected me to sit by, and let some hussy practically sit in his lap...WITH me SITTING there." He growled though his words carried the hurt and betrayal he felt. Castiel stepped forward, having picked up the duffel sometime during Sams rant – when he wasn't sure – and came to stand in front of the youngest Winchester again.

"I do not know if this is...normal in this day and age. Though judging by your reaction it's not." Castiel said, staring unblinkingly at Sam. "It's not." Sam agreed. Castiel nodded then and reached out, placing his hand on Sams arm and zapping them to Maryland heights Missouri. Once they were outside some random motel Castiel stepped back after handing Sam his duffel. "Everything will work out in its own time. Take care of yourself Sam...and enjoy your peace and quiet...hopefully you'll begin on the research." Castiel replied and disappeared after Sam nodded.

Once the angel was gone, Sam turned and headed towards the office of the motel booking the last room available and heading down to it. Once inside he set his only bag down on the bed, before salting the door and windows, locking them as well. Once he was sure the room was secure he settled onto the bed with his laptop and began looking up any newspaper articles he could find on the petrified people. It took several hours until he found something they all had in common..they all looked like something scared them half to death. What could be so horrible that would cause such a reaction? Deciding to look up mythical creatures, and folktales he came upon one beast that was said to kill or petrify their victims with a single glance..a horrible creature, something that caused him to shudder at the thought of facing it. Something that had him glancing at his phone, wishing that Dean was there beside him. What caused such a reaction? The Basilisk.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I changed the lyrics to the first two verses some, from the song from She/Her to He/Him. I love the song, it's by Ronan Keating. Beautiful song. I left ya'll with a cliffie because well I wanted to do Deans POV about the waitress part, but decided to wait till the next chapter for it. Anyways R&R? Already working on chapter 5._


	5. For You, I'll Stay Alive

Chapter five: For You, I'll Stay Alive

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Supernatural and original characters belong to Kripke...lucky fuck.

* * *

><p>Dean watched as Sam stormed out of the diner. He briefly played with the idea of chasing after his brother, but decided against it when the waitress approached rubbing her shoulder from where Sam had slammed into her without a care in the world. "What got into him?" The waitress asked as she placed their plates down on the table, as well as their coffees. Dean glanced towards the door and shrugged "Dunno." The waitress nodded "Well if you need <em>Anything <em>Just let me know." She purred. Dean just nodded at her, wondering what the hell he did to piss Sam off. Sure he should have told the waitress to back off, but well who wouldn't like to be flirted with? It wasn't like he was planning on fucking her or something.

Twenty minutes later when Sam hadn't returned he paid the bill and left a small tip, before walking out and towards the Impala expecting to find his brother pouting inside it. However as he drifted closer it became apparent that Sam wasn't in the car, and as Dean glanced in the back seat he noticed his brothers duffel bag missing. Panic hit him, wondering if Sam was in trouble or not. "He's safe. No thanks to you." Came the cold, and pissed off voice of Castiel seconds before he was slammed into the side of his car and spun around so they were face to face. "I worked months Dean. MONTHS to bring you back from the dead, where you should have stayed!" Castiel growled, hand fisting in the front of Deans shirt.

"What the hell Cas?" Dean gasped out trying to push the angel away, to no avail of course. Castiel pulled him forward and slammed him against the car again. "You would throw the chance for a happy, normal life with Sam away over some woman at a diner!" Castiel growled at his friend, rage clear in his bright blue eyes. If he didn't know it would inflict more pain on Sam then good, he would really send Dean back to hell where he honestly thought the man belonged right now. "Sam deserves better then you Dean. Someone who sees how much he loves them, who loves him just as much. He'd do anything for you and you just walk all over him. All you've done is hurt him since you came back. So either you pull your head out of your ass, or I will send you back. Sam might be pissed at me, but he'd be a hell of a lot better off." Castiel slammed Dean back once before before he disappeared leaving Dean to collapse against the car lost in thoughts.

Castiel reappeared in the motel room in Maryland heights Missouri to find Sam asleep on top of the blankets on the bed, his laptop open on his lap. Frowning slightly he walked over and lifted the computer from Sams lap, turning it off after bookmarking the sites he had opened and shut it. He then moved back over to the bed and brushed the hair from Sams face, noticing that tears streamed down his face even in his sleep. "Oh Sam..." He whispered shaking his head, he hated seeing his friend in so much pain. Slowly he pulled the covers from underneath Sam before he leaned forward and began to undo his friends Jeans, freezing when hands clasped his wrists. "Cas?" Came the confused and sleepy voice of Sam. "Yes?" Castiel asked and continued to pull Sams jeans down once the man relaxed and released his grip. "Why is it, that everyone I love...either leaves...or likes to hurt me?" Sam asked, so brokenly that Castiel felt his vessels heart clench at the sound.

"Not everyone does, Samuel." Castiel replied while he pulled the blankets over Sam and then brushed his hair from his face. Bright blue eyes stared down at Sam for several minutes, before the angel leaned down as his eyes roamed over Sams face...before he pressed a chaste kiss to Sams lips. "I don't." He whispered against them before pulling back from Sam, eyes still searching. Sam stared up at the angel, a confused look upon his face. However when he said nothing, or did nothing negative then Castiel leaned down for a slightly deeper kiss...to which Sam began to kiss back. Castiel knew it was wrong, but he had warned Dean, had told him he believed that Sam deserved someone who would love him as much as he loved them. Though he doubted Sam loved him, he wouldn't let it stop him from showing him someone loved him.

However all too soon the need for air became to much for Sam, so Castiel reluctantly pulled away from the younger Winchester. Sam lay there staring at him, before he closed his eyes and shook his head. "Cas...I..." He struggled to find the words. "Shh it's alright. I know you love him more then anything. I wouldn't do anything to threaten your place with him Samuel. Just know that I am here, that I love you and I'm not going anywhere if I can help it." Castiel reassured him, brushing hair from Sams face. Bright green eyes stared up at the Angel for a few moments before he offered Castiel a shy smile. Castiel took that as a sign to leave, and vanished after saying. "As long as it takes. However Deans driving up here...If you want to kiss and make up with him." Castiel added though his words were emotionless he looked down before vanishing. Sam sat there staring at the spot for several minutes before shaking his head as his hands rubbed at his face.

He knew he loved Dean, that he'd do anything for his brother..die for him. But was that because of the love or because he was his brother...his protector? Sometimes he didn't even know, he felt safe around Dean but there were times when he just pushed and pushed, ignorant of the pain he was causing...emotional and physical at times. Castiel however, he was safe...he protected and helped Sam...watched over him. He obviously held some feelings for Sam as well, why else would the angel kiss him? To spite Dean? It wasn't Cas' style really... A frustrated groan escaped Sam as he collapsed back onto the bed with his arm thrown over his face. It was so fucking confusing, because when things were good...they were great with Dean. But when they were bad, it was fucking hell. Was the pain worth the good? Did Dean cause his heart to beat faster when he walked into the room? Yes... Did he love his brother more then life itself? Yes. But the question wasn't if he loved Dean, it was if Dean loved him.

Did Dean love him? If he loved him...would Dean have said the things he said in the diner? Sam knew he was a burden to his brother, he knew it because he himself felt it. Time and time again he felt Dean would be better off without him, and had Dean loved him..he would be here already. He wasn't though, and Sam knew with his heart that though he'd die for his brother...loved his brother more then his own breath that Dean didn't love him as much.

A deep breath was taken as he forced himself to sit up, to focus on something other then his declining emotions...declining will. No he forced himself to focus on the hunt, at least now he knew what he was after. Pulling his laptop off the night stand he re-opened the pages he'd been browsing. Searching for a way to kill the Basilisk. Two sections stood out to him. _The only way to kill a basilisk is by holding a mirror in front of its eyes, while avoiding to look directly at it. The moment the creature sees its own reflection, it will die of fright. _As well as _However, even the basilisk has natural enemies. The weasel is immune to its glance and if it gets bitten it withdraws from the fight to eat some rue, the only plant that does not wither, and returns with renewed strength. A more dangerous enemy is the cock for should the basilisk hear it crow, it would die instantly. _Sam studied the paragraphs for several minutes before closing the laptop after shutting it off.

Getting up off the bed he headed towards the bathroom and grabbing the small mirror from the Cabinet. He doubted it'd be big enough, but it was something. Heading out the room he made sure to lock the door behind him, his pearl grip pistol tucked away in the waistband of his pants. Although he doubted it'd do much good against a basilisk. He walked for hours, searching the streets for any sign of the beast and much to his disappointment came back empty handed...so to speak. Though when he returned to the motel parking lot something caught his eye. A familiar car sat empty in a parking spot not far from his motel room, the only thing not right about the picture...was the drivers side door was still opened. Moving quickly and cautiously towards the car he noticed that it was in fact the Impala. "Dean?" He called out softly, green eyes raking the ground and surrounding area for any signs of his brother.

When no answer came he shut the cars door and snagged the keys from the ignition – something he thought odd – before rushing towards the office. As he burst inside he glanced around, rushing over to the desk. "Excuse me, but has a guy checked in here or come in? Dark blonde, bout yey tall?" He asked, holding his hand up to around Deans height. "No...Sorry sir." Sam nodded "Thanks..." Before he turned and exited the office. "Fuck!" He cried out, kicking a trashcan. Tears began to well up in his eyes, Dean had come looking for him...he'd come...and now that thing most likely had him. _He could have come for the hunt _A voice in the back of his head whispered. He shook his head, forcing the voice away. No, he wouldn't listen to that.

Slowly and reluctantly he headed back to his motel room, to do more research into these Basilisks. Such as places they lived, and what they did with the petrified people. "I'm coming De." He whispered into the darkness. "I'll find you." Or so he hoped he would, preferably alive. Walking into the motel room he made sure to lock the door once more and fix the salt lines. He made a note to dig through Deans duffel in the car tomorrow, for now he was exhausted...it was nearly one in the morning. A low sigh escaped vocals as he collapsed onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He didn't know how long he lay there, unable to sleep but it was apparent he eventually fell off to sleep considering the next thing he remembered was waking to the sun in his eyes. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed he slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and half expecting Dean to walk through the door with breakfast. It was with a pang that he remembered, he had left Dean in Camden and now his brother was missing. Quickly getting dressed he settled down to do more research into the Basilisk, he was going to find his brother if it was the last thing he did. After several hours of searching through false sites he finally found a reliable source, and frowned when it said that Basilisks lived in either caves, or dark and damp dwellings. There were no caves around, but there was the sewer. Groaning he pushed away the laptop and got off the bed. Might as well head out and search...the sooner he found his brother the more likely the chances he'd be alive were.

Heading down into the sewer Sam had decided to keep the flash light off for now, in an attempt to keep from alerting the beast to his presence anymore then necessary. However as he trudged through the muck he was beginning to regret it. It was impossible to see anything in front of him, and he had to rely on his hearing to keep alert. After what seemed forever he heard something large moving ahead of him, and quickly held the mirror in front of his face as he continued to walk ahead. Pushing his thumb down he clicked the flash light on and began to shine it along the floor. A low hiss sounded from ahead, before a high pitch screech as the beast rounded the corner towards the light and caught sight of itself in the mirror. Sam continued to hold the mirror up until he heard a loud 'splash' and felt the muck surge towards him from the force of the beast falling down...lifeless. Cautiously he moved towards it, climbing over its legs while avoiding looking at its head and in turn the eyes. "Could have been more eventful." He mumbled to himself as he rounded the corner it'd come from.

The light from the flashlight raked over the sewage systems tunnels, searching for the figure of his brother. Several minutes into the search a groan had Sam twisting around and grabbing for the gun in his waistband. "Oh...Disgusting." Came a familiar voice and Sam felt himself smiling despite himself as he released his grip on the gun and charging through the muck towards the voice. "De!" He called in a mock whisper, loud enough to be heard but not overly loud. "Sam?" Came the confused voice of his brother just as he rounded the corner that separated them and his smile spread full force across his face. Jogging over he reached Dean in time to help his brother stand, though he was a bit shaky. "Sam...There's a-" Dean began, however Sam cut him off with "I know, Its dead." He replied as he wrapped a arm around Deans waist and began guiding his brother out of the sewage tunnels.

Twenty minutes later they were back at the motel room, Dean was currently in the shower while Sam bagged up their dirty clothes to toss, god knows those weren't going anywhere near the other clothes. Opening the door he tossed them in the trash can near the parking lot before he re-entered. Dean emerged from the shower a few minutes later, looking up at Sam from where he sat on the bed in just his boxers..fresh clothes on the bed next to him. "Showers free..." Dean muttered and Sam nodded, grabbed the clothes and headed into the bathroom. There is an awkward air to the room, the silence stretched...strained. Dean knows he hurt Sam before, knows he should apologize but he just doesn't know how. Castiels words echo in his head, and as he turns towards the bathroom door he can't help but think that the angel is right.

However he knows he'd never let go, he loves Sam to much to lose him. But would he let Sam go if his brother wanted to? Would he stand by and let Sam be happy with someone else? He knew then that even if it'd kill him...if Sam wanted it, if he wanted to leave...that he would. He'd watch his brother walk out that door, even as his heart broke. But he knew then, that he didn't want that to happen. Several minutes into Sams shower Dean pushed the bathroom door open, slipping inside and shutting the door behind him silently.

A sob reached Deans ears, listening as Sam cried under the spray. Moving closer he could even see the red of his brothers eyes through the glass door, and slowly slid it open causing his brother to whip around. Dean had already stripped off his clothes in the main room, and as he slipped into the shower and shut the door he watched as Sam stared at him, shaking from fear? "Sammy..." Dean breathed, his hazel eyes staring into his brothers emerald green ones. "De." Sam sobbed out and Dean moved forward wrapping his arms around Sams waist pulling him closer to him as Sam buried his face into Deans shoulder his own arms going around Deans waist.

Dean just held his brother, his hands rubbing soothing circles along Sams back. "Shh..." He whispered into Sams ear, closing his eyes as his body shook with the force of Sams sobs. Dean didn't know how long they stood there, pressed so tightly together that no light shown between them. He didn't know how long his brother sobbed and he comforted, but he did know by time Sam pulled away the water had turned cold. Silently he lead Sam out of the shower after turning the water off, since both were clean..had been before Dean even slipped into the shower with his brother. He silently wrapped a towel around Sams waist and then his own, all the while staring into Sams eyes. Sam followed him willingly out into the room, water sliding down Sams chest and disappearing into the towel. Dean gently pushed him to sit on the bed, before he sank to his knees before his brother. He knew that Sam was hurting, that his heart was breaking and he knew he had to fix it.

"You can leave...if you want." Came the quiet and broken voice of Sam, who was staring down at his lap instead of at Dean. "Why would I want that?" Dean asked, gently forcing Sam to lift his head. "You only came for the hunt. Its dead now, you're safe...You obviously don't want me...since I'm too clingy...So..." Sams rambling was cut off when Deans lips covered his own, his tongue forcing its way into Sams mouth and caressing his tongue. Deans hands had moved up, one cupping the back of Sams head keeping him from pulling away and the other wrapped around his waist pulling him closer as Dean stood slowly. This of course caused Sam to fall back onto the bed, as Dean had moved to cover his body with his own. Pulling back from the kiss he stared down at his brother and shook his head. "You're an idiot." He said finally, bluntly. "See. Just go th-" Sam started but Dean cut across him. "I didn't come here for the hunt. I came here to find you...That thing just found me first." Dean continued like Sam hadn't even spoken. "Really?" Sam asked, staring up at him hopefully. "Yes. I realized I was an ass...I should have told the waitress to back off...I realized you're to important to just lose you over some bitch." He chuckled then "Course, Cas kind of knocked some sense into me."

Sam smiled up at him before he wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him down all the way and pressing a chaste kiss to Deans lips. When he pulled away he spoke softly "Good. Least someone did." Dean scowled at that, but let it go as he laid down next to Sam, his arms wrapping around Sams waist and pulling him back against his chest. "Love you, Sammy." "Love you too, De."

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><p><em>AN: Next chapter will be up ASAP. I'd like to get at least two reviews before I finish chapter six. R&R. Opinions on Sam/Cas or Dean/Cas._


	6. I don't know you anymore

**Chapter six: I don't know you anymore  
>Disclaimer: I own nothing. Supernatural and original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky bastard.<br>**

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><p>They stayed in Missouri for a few more days, enjoying the sights. However last night Dean had left to the bar alone because Sam didn't want to go get pissed drunk again for the third night in a row. However this morning as Sam woke, he became aware to the fact the Deans side of the bed was cold...and undisturbed. Blinking he slowly rolled over onto his back before swinging his feet over the side of the bed. "De?" He called to the room as his hands rubbed sleep from his eyes. When no answer came he began to panic, why wasn't dean home? Pushing up off the bed he peered out the window of the motel room and sighed when he spotted the Impala in the parking space. "He probably walked to get breakfast..." Sam grumbled to himself before heading into the bathroom for a shower.<p>

Twenty minutes later the rooms door opened and Dean walked into the room, hazel eyes darting to the bed and frowning when he noticed that Sam wasn't where he'd left him. However the telltale sounds of water running told him that Sam was in the shower. Setting the food on the table he smirked and headed towards the bathroom, quietly opening the door and slinking inside. Steam flowed from the shower, fogging the mirror in the bathroom and making the air thick and hard to breath. Sliding the curtain to the side Dean slipped into the shower after stripping quickly, wrapping his arms around Sams waist and pressing a kiss to his shoulder as his hands inched south. "De. No." Sam growled and attempted to pull away from his brother.

However when he tried this he found himself pressed against the shower wall. "Come on Sammy." Dean purred into his ear, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck as his hands continued down to grasp Sams limp dick. "Aw...Not even hard." Dean pouted "Don't you want me Sammy? Want me to fill you? Make you scream my name in pleasure." Sam whimpered, why was Dean pushing this? Why was he trying to pressure Sam into sex? He normally backed off when Sam said no... "Course...I could always go back to the bar..." Sam didn't let him finish that sentence as he pressed his ass back against Deans arousal...closing his eyes as tears welled up.

Dean groaned at that, his hand grasping Sams dick began to pump it while the other one circled around his waist and parted his ass cheeks. "Mm..That's right..." Dean moaned as he thrust against Sam before spinning him around and pinning him before scooping his legs up so they wrapped around his waist and his dick pressed against Sams entrance. Sam tensed at this, eyes tightening before Dean thrust into him unprepared and he screamed as Dean let out a long moan as he went to the hilt in that one thrust. "Mmm So good...such a good slut." Dean whispered in Sams ear as he pounded into him. Sam tried to ignore the words, ignore the pain, ignore the tears running down his cheeks. He tried to beg Dean to stop, but it didn't work. He tried telling himself this wasn't Dean..but it looked like him, sounded like him, hell even smelled like him. Why would his own brother rape him?

As Dean came with a groan Sam choked back a sob, though he did gasp when Dean pulled out of him and let Sams feet fall to the floor before he stepped back. Sam simply slid down the shower wall and Dean tsked at him before getting out of the shower. Sam sat there for god knows how long before he slowly got to his feet, ignoring the blood and cum coming out of his ass as he gingerly stepped out. Wrapping the towel around his waist he limped into the room and a glance told him Dean was sitting at the table in the room eating a hamburger. Slowly he moved to the duffel bag and pulled out his clothes before he turned to head back to the bathroom. "Ah ah." Dean tsked, shaking his head and causing Sam to freeze. "Change here." Dean ordered and raised a brow when Sam went to protest. Something told him not to argue, though he did glare at his brother before dropping the towel to the ground.

Dean stood then and moved around the table, moving to circle him. After a few minutes feeling like a helpless prey about to be struck down by some predator Dean returned to the table and picked up his burger. "Getting a bit fat there, Sam." He commented off handily before looking back to his meal. Sam continued to stare after his brother for a moment before turning his back on Dean and reaching for his boxers to pull them on. Once he was fully dressed he sank down onto the bed, glancing from under his lashes at Dean every few moments. "What?" Dean finally snapped at him, setting his burger down on the wrapper. "...Nothing." Sam replied quietly before glancing down at the floor. This of course made Dean smirk and stand fluidly from the table.

Moving closer Sam continued to stare at the floor, trying to ignore the heat that emanated from his brother when Dean came to a stop before him. "Really? Now come Sam. Don't hold back." Dean commented as his hands moved to Sams shoulders and up his neck before lifting his head to stare up at Dean. One of Deans hands drifted away though, and undid the button on his jeans and then the zipper letting them fall to the ground around his feet. Sams eyes snapped to this action before looking back up and he swallowed thickly. "Your...Not acting like yourself..." Sam whispered as Dean pulled his boxers off and stepped between Sams legs. "Or maybe I'm acting like myself because I've gotten sick of babying you?" Dean replied before he pulled Sam off the bed and forced him onto his knees. Sams gaze lowered until it locked onto Deans dick hard and proud in front of his face. "Suck."

When Sam shook his head Dean drew his hand back before smacking Sam hard, the resounding crack echoing around the room while Sams head jerked to one side and tears welled up in his eyes though he tried to force them away. Sams gaze remained closed, he was aware though of Dean jerking him off the ground and shoving him face down onto the end of the bed so that only his upper body was on the bed. Hands pulled down his boxers and he felt a heat pressing against his back "Fine. Guess I'll just have to get off this way." Then there was pain, blinding pain that cause Sam to scream and try to arch away from the source though the mattress prevented it. "De!" He sobbed hands clenching around the comforter as he tried to claw his way up the bed, away from Dean whos hands clamped down around his hip bones and halted his attempts of freedom as he was pounded into. "De! Please...Stop!" He could feel himself being ripped, torn to pieces. Dean would never do this to him! Dean protected him, loved him, cherished him! So why was his brother raping him again? His hole was already raw and injured from the rape in the shower, how could his brother be ready again so soon. Deans thrust became erratic and rough before he tense and a low moan escaped him as he released inside Sam again. He collapsed on top of Sam then, pressing his brother into the bed even further. Muffled sobs could be heard from the man beneath him.

This of course only caused Dean to smirk and squeeze the flesh where his hands were resting. Pulling out his smirk grew as blood and cum oozed out of his brothers hole. "'De' isn't in at the moment." Dean hissed into Sams ear before he stood up and strided towards the bathroom leaving Sam to collapse onto the ground, gasping at the pain in his backside. "De." Sam sobbed, wanting so much to not believe that...person. He just wanted his De, his protector...not the one who was causing him so much pain. As he lay there, he couldn't help but ponder...could it be possible? Could this Dean not be Dean at all? Sam pulled himself up off the ground, slowly limping towards his duffel bag where his silver blade Dean had bought him when they were teenagers rested. He heard the sound of the shower turning on and breathed a relieved breath that he'd at least have time to get the knife.

It seemed to take forever till he finally reached the duffel bag. Slipping one hand inside the bag he dug around until his fingers closed around the hilt, just in time for the bathroom door to open and the sound of footsteps padding across the room towards him reached his ears. Taking a deep breath he prayed that he was right, and as a hand curled around his hip he twisted towards the body behind him and thrust his hand sideways, slicing the person behind him in the stomach with the silver knife and watching as Dean hissed and lunged backwards, the flesh that'd been cut burning and smoking. "You sonofabitch!" Sam didn't wait he drew back the knife again and aimed to stab the shifter in the shoulder, grinning when the blade sunk into the flesh like butter. Smoke and a scream rose from the body before him, a hand came out and backhanded him across the face causing him to stumble and fall onto the bed where the shifter covered him and pulled the blade from its shoulder. "Guessing you figured out I'm not really Dean." It hissed "Unless.." A grin spread across its face while it dragged the blade down Sams face and neck. "Unless you didn't care, would you have cut your own brother?"

Sam stared up at him, wincing as the blade cut into his flesh. "If he did what you just did...yes." He replied with a glare. Dean smirked down at him "Such a loving brother you are." He purred sarcastically, running the blade up Sams cheek and side of his face before pressing it in harder, cutting into his flesh. Sam didn't even flinch as the knife cut into him he simply glared. "Do what you want to me. Dean will get lose, and he will kill you." He whispered with such loathing that the shifter laughed. "How do you know hes not dead?" The shifter whispered. "Because. I'd feel it." Sam replied seriously.

He knew Dean couldn't be dead, it'd feel like half of him was gone. Like half of his soul was ripped away and twisted into tiny knots before being shredded in a shredder. He just knew. But what was keeping Dean? Why hadn't Castiel even come to visit them? He tensed at the thought of Castiel, the memory of the kiss still fresh in his mind. He'd never betray Dean like that...but wasn't letting the shifter touch him betrayal as well? No he reminded himself, that wasn't consensual. Of course he'd not consented to the kiss either...but Castiel knew, knew he'd never leave Dean. So why had he even bothered?

He could feel the blade slicing into his flesh, and pain shooting through his body. A shuddered breath was taken before he allowed his mind to go blank, ignoring the pain. Dean.

**Flashback**

_It was another Christmas in another motel room, with just him and Dean. Dad had gone out a few days prior and hadn't come home yet. Had they been any other family this may have caused alarm, but in their family it just meant the thing their dad was hunting was being difficult to track...or at least that's what Dean knew. Sam glanced up from where he was wrapping his present to their father when Dean suddenly spoke from his spot by the window, where he'd been staring out into the dark. "What is that?" He had asked and Sam twisted slightly to see his brother. "A present for Dad." Sam replied happily, he was proud of the necklace that uncle Bobby had given him for his gift to their dad._

_"Oh yea? Where'd you get the money for it? Did you steal it?" Came Deans response, slightly cold in tone as if he expected the answer to be a yes. "No, Uncle Bobby gave it to me to give to him. Said it was real special." Sam replied frowning as he finally finished wrapping his gift. "What is it?" This time Dean sounded interested in the gift, wandering if it'd be any better then the knife he'd gotten for their dad. "A Pony." Sam deadpans, causing Dean to scoff out a "Yea right." as he walks over and settles onto the couch behind him and lifts up the magazine 'Hot Rod' to begin flipping through it._

_"Dads going to be here right?" Sam asks, the fear of their father not keeping his promise clear in his tone, disappointment as well. It wouldn't be the first holiday their father missed and probably wouldn't be the last. "He'll be here." Dean reassures without looking up from the magazine. "It's Christmas." Sam reminds Dean "He knows. He'll be here. He promised." The last two words sound strained, like he knew this would be a promise broken._

_"Where is he anyways?" Sam asked finally turning to look back at Dean. "On Business." Comes Deans blunt reply as he flips the pages of the magazine. "What kind of Business?" Sam asks, no one ever told him what their dad did exactly. Dean placed the magazine down in his lap and looked down at Sam. "You know this." He pauses. "He sells stuff." "What kind of stuff?" "Stuff." "Nobody ever tells me anything." This time Sam sounds petulant. "Then quit asking." Deans tone is annoyed as he stands with magazine in hand and moves to the bed where he brushes off the food wrappers and lays down to continue his reading._

_"Is dad a spy?" Sam asks suddenly, not getting the hint that Dean wanted the subject dropped. "Mhm. He's James bond." Comes Deans sarcastic response. Sam frowns at him "Why do we move around so much?" "'Cause everywhere we go, they get sick of your face." Sam sighed and stood up, leaping over the back of the couch only to lean against it and stare at Dean. "I'm old enough, Dean. You can tell me the truth." "You don't want to know the truth. Believe me." Dean emphasizes his response. "Is that why we never talk about... mom?" Sam asks and doesn't have time to react before Deans tossed the magazine away and was up off the bed and in his face. "SHUT UP!" Dean shouted at him. "Don't you ever talk about mom! Ever!" He continues as he moves away from Sam and towards the door grabbing his jacket._

_"Wait. Where are you going?" Sam calls after him. Dean doesn't even bother to turn around as he replies with "Out!" before hes out the door, it slamming shut behind him._

**End flashback**

Sam could remember the first time Dean really tried to look out for him, in a 'not protecting you' sort of way. He knew by now that blood was running down his flesh, and he tried not to puke when he felt the shifts tongue running up his chest.

**Flashback**

_Sam woke up to Deans hand on his shoulder, shaking him away with a whispered "Sam! Wake up" Sam rolled over and looked blearily at his brother. "Dad was here. Look what he brought." Sam looked to where Dean was gesturing and saw the Christmas tree with lights and the few presents. "Dad was here?" Sam asks softly. "Yeah. Look at this. We made a killing." Dean replied with a light smile. "Why didn't he try to wake me up?" Sam asked, yawning. He nearly missed the slight frown on Deans face. "He tried to, like, a thousand times." "He did?" Sam asked confused. Dean nodded "Yeah. Did I tell you he would give us Christmas or what?" Sam continued to look at him. "Go on. Dive in." Dean continued, smiling as Sam threw the covers off and ran to the little tree, picking up two presents that were there. He moves over to the couch and begins to unwrap them, well aware that Deans beside him._

_"What is it?" Dean asks, trying to sound as though he didn't know. A confused look crossed Sams face as he held up "Sapphire Barbie?" Dean scoffed but a smile spread across his face. "Dad probably thinks your a girl." He replies in a teasing tone. "Shut up." He says as he tosses the doll to the floor. "Open that one." Dean said motioning to the other present. Sam opens it to reveal a pink baton. Sam looked over at Dean. "Dad never showed, did he?" "Yeah, he did. I swear." Sam gives a look that clearly says he doesn't believe him. "Dean, where'd you get all this stuff?" Dean sighs and looks away "Nice house up the block. I swear I didn't know they were chick presents. Look, I'm sure dad would have been here if he could." "If he's alive." "Don't say that. Of course he's alive." Dean replied and smiled "He's Dad." He continued._

_Sam nods at that before reaching into the couch beside the cushions to pull out the gift he'd been wrapping for their dad earlier. He then handed it to Dean. "Here. Take this." "No. No, that's for dad." Sam continues to hold it in his lap before "Dad lied to me. I want you to have it." Dean looks down at the gift for a moment then up at Sam. "You sure?" He asks. "I'm sure." Dean accepts the gift and begins to open it, only to reveal a amulet. Dean held it in his hand, looking at it. "Thanks Sam. Its...I love it." He then put it on and looked up at Sam who smiled at him._

**End flashback**

That was the same exact Amulet Dean had worn everyday of his life, until the day Castiel told them God couldn't be found...and most likely didn't care. Dean had let it fall into the trash can then, not knowing that Sam had fished it out and carried it in his pocket always. This time it's a different thing that brings him out of his memories, its the sound of a door being slammed and a gun cocked. Confused he glances around, green eyes find hazel as he takes in the sight of his brother standing in the doorway with his ivory handled pistol aimed for the shifters head. "Get. The. Fuck. Off. Him." Dean growls and the shifter smirks. "Aw but he likes it. He wants it. Wants to be-" But before the shifter can finish a gunshot rings through the room and the shifter falls limp to the side of Sam, who is dragged up and into the warm embrace of Dean. A sob escapes one of their lips, he's not sure which. Tears well in his eyes as he clings to his brother, breathing in his smell and trying to force the memories of the rapes at the hands of the shifter from his mind. "De..." He breathes. "Shh it's okay." Dean whispers as his hands rub soothing circles in his back.

"Is he okay?" Comes another voice, a familiar voice. Glancing up from his spot Sam offers them a strained smile. "I'll be alright...Thanks...Cas." Castiel nods before he walks into the room and places a hand on the body, they both disappear. "I knew you'd come for me De." Sam whispers once they're alone. "Always. It's my job, watching out for my pain in the ass little brother." Dean replies, voice strained as he tries to keep from sobbing. Sam is covered in blood, cuts of different depths all across his arms and chest...face. "Love you." Dean mutters into Sams ear and Sam tenses slightly as the memories try to grab hold but he shoves them away, deep down. "Love you too, De." But if shifters took their memories...copies of them...did that mean Dean really wanted to hurt him, make him bleed? Did he really know his brother at all?

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><p><em>AN: This chapter took so long because I got it done once, but didn't like how it went. So I decided to redo it, and I don't really like writing Non-con scenes for Sam...it pains me. ANYWAYS R&R please. Next chapter up ASAP._


	7. We Were Always Meant To Say Goodbye

Chapter seven: We Were Always Meant To Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I own no rights to supernatural or the original characters. That belongs to Kripke. Lucky fuck.

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><p>The silence seemed to stretch between them, awkward and tense as the sleek black Impala surged down the darkened road. Sam was pressed up against the door, furthest from his brother he could get and staring out into the night, watching the barely there shadows of trees and buildings whip past them at blinding speeds...or were they whipping past at blinding speeds? It didn't matter, nothing mattered. A whimper escaped him as they hit a bump, pain shooting up him as he clenched his eyes closed, biting his bottom lip. He prayed that Dean wouldn't have heard, wouldn't notice the tension in his posture – even more then there was before – but it seemed the gods were against him as a concerned "Sammy?" reached his ears. He whimpered at that as well, felt his heart clench as pain stabbed through his chest. He wanted to feel safe around his brother, wanted to trust him...but he couldn't.<p>

"Sammy, Please...look at me." Those words sounded so pained, so pleading. He forced his eyes open, when had they stopped? Did Dean pull over to the side of the road and he not even notice? "Sammy..." Sam slowly turned his head towards his brother, fear and panic clear as day in Sams green eyes.

_Hands pulled down his boxers and he felt a heat pressing against his back "Fine. Guess I'll just have to get off this way." Then there was pain, blinding pain that cause Sam to scream and try to arch away from the source though the mattress prevented it. "De!" He sobbed hands clenching around the comforter as he tried to claw his way up the bed, away from Dean whos hands clamped down around his hip bones and halted his attempts of freedom as he was pounded into. "De! Please...Stop!" He could feel himself being ripped, torn to pieces._

He wasn't aware he was screaming or thrashing, wasn't aware when Dean had moved across the car and had his hands pressing him back into the seat, shaking him slightly. "DE! STOP! PLEASE STOP!" Sam screamed out in a sob. "Sammy! Come on Sam, snap outta it please!" Sam continued to thrash, shoving at Sam and nearly pushing him onto his ass. Stressed and not sure what else to do he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Sams shoulders, pinning his arms to his sides and clinging for dear life. Sams screams and bucks continued, as Dean continued to try and soothe his brother, calm him and bring him back. "I'm so sorry Sammy...god I let you down...I am so sorry." Dean whispered into Sams ear, noticing as his brother relaxed slightly before he tensed.

Dean released his brother and scooted back across the car, staring into those pained green eyes that were welled up with tears. "I'm so sorry..." Dean whispered before looking down. They sat there for several more minutes in strained silence before Dean tensed "FUCK!" he screamed as he hit the steering wheel, causing Sam to flinch and jump as he pressed back into the door. Dean caught this and a frown crossed his face, tears he'd been forcing to remain inside spilling out over his cheeks. "Sammy...God..." His hand inched towards his brother but when Sam flinched and pressed further against the door he drew it back. "Right...right." Dean mumbled, brushing the tears off his cheeks as he put the car in drive and started back onto the road.

The drive was long and strained, Sam had remained pressed against the door staring at him dis-trustingly the rest of the ride home. It'd taken hours, almost a full day but as soon as they pulled into the drive a few moments ago Sam was up and out of the car, rushing across the street to talk to mr stallman and get Sirius. Dean watched as he rushed across the street and sighed, looking down at the roof of the Impala before walking around to the trunk, opening it and grabbing their bags. A glance behind him showed Sam hugging Sirius around the neck and the dogs tail going a mile a minute. A concerned look crossed Mr. Stallmans face and it got Dean wondering, itching to go see what was wrong but he didn't want to further upset his brother. Closing his eyes he slammed the trunk and headed inside.

It was twenty minutes later that Sam came inside with Sirius trailing behind him, the dog snarled at Dean and he rolled his eyes. It figured the dog would pick up on Sams unease around Dean, and he was always protective over Sam, like Dean was. Dean simply stared at the dog as Sam grabbed his duffel bag and headed into the guest bedroom...that felt like a knife to Deans heart. Sirius growled at Dean once more before trotting after his owner. Sinking down onto the stool near the island counter Dean buried his face in his arms. Dean felt the tears welling up, he was frustrated and hurt. He wanted to comfort Sam, but knew his mere presence distressed his brother. He was at a loss as to what to do...except leave. Lifting his head he glanced towards the guest bedroom and swallowed thickly. "Sammy..."

He didn't want to leave, it would kill him to do so but he knew it'd be the best for Sam. However then Sam would be all alone, he didn't want that. Standing from the bar stool in the kitchen he grabbed his own duffel bag and headed into the hall, pausing by the guest bedroom. "Sammy." He frowned when Sam flinched at his voice but said nothing else. "You take the master bedroom...I'll stay in here." Sam turned and looked at him, a confused look on his face as well as fear. "I'm serious. Please." Sam looked down at the ground and nodded, before shuffling past with his duffel. He barely squeezed past, pressing harshly up against the door frame and wall before he bolted down the hall. Dean felt the tears slip past his eyelids and run down his cheeks as he watched Sirius trot after Sam. Walking into the guest bedroom he shut the door and collapsed onto the bed.

Dean knew he'd have to leave, there was no way in hell they could keep going like this. He wanted to stay, god did he want to but he knew it'd just cause Sam more pain in the end. No, it was better that he be out of the picture...possibly for good. The only thing he could think of, was asking the one...person he could trust that was near by at all times, to watch over Sam... Taking a deep breath he sat up "Cas!" He called, waiting in silence until the ruffle of wings signaled the angels arrival. "Yes Dean?" Castiels dull drawl came. "I...Have a favor to ask of you." Dean mumbled but the angel caught it anyways. "What is it Dean?" Castiel knew that the shifter had stolen Deans face, but surely they could get past that right? "I'm Leaving. I'll only cause Sam more pain by being here." Obviously not. "So...I was wondering, if you'd keep an eye on him for me?" Dean finished softly. Castiel stared at Dean, he knew it was killing him that he let his brother down, that his brother was terrified of him now. He knew it was killing him to leave, to ask someone else to watch over and protect Sam. Castiel stepped towards his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder, offering a comforting squeeze. "Of course Dean."

Castiel couldn't help but wonder..."Have you told Sam your leaving?" At Deans shake of the head he scowled "Dean, that will kill him! If you leave, without saying goodbye!" "I'm doing more harm then good now!" Dean screamed back. "You were right." "I was?" "Yes...Sam deserves someone better then me..." "Dean! There is no one better in Sams eyes, no one could ever compare. He loves you with all his heart." "Hes terrified of me! If he looks at me...god Cas. When he looks at me I can see the fear. Hes afraid I'll hit him or rape him or something!" "Your making his biggest fear come true Dean! Hes always been afraid you'd leave him! That you'd think he wasn't good enough-" "I know! Okay I know! But its for the best." The last bit was said softer. "Best for whom? You?" "What? No! I'm doing this for him!" "So its best for you to rip his heart out, leave him when he needs you to be strong. You're taking the cowards way out Dean."

Dean stood at this and shoved the angel. "No Castiel. I'm doing what I should have done long before this happened. Sam only gets hurt when hes around me. He was never EVER supposed to be afraid of me! Now hes afraid to even look at me! I can't even be in the same room as him without him cowering in the corner or against the wall. Damnit Cas! I'm supposed to protect him and I failed! That sick fuck got to him, and worse it was wearing MY skin Cas! It wasn't you, it wasn't Bobby it was ME! I've always protected him, always promised that nothing bad would happen to him with me around! I know deep down he knows it wasn't me but his mind only sees me, and registers fear. I...I can't...I won't!" Castiel stepped back after being shoved, not holding it against the over emotional Dean right now. "Alright Dean. I give you my word I'll watch over him. But let it be known, I don't agree with or approve of you just leaving him." "Thanks Cas." Castiel nodded before disappearing.

Dean sighed as he pushed up off the bed, gathering what clothes he'd left here and shoving them in his duffel before writing a quick letter to Sam and slipping it under the master bedrooms door. Walking out the front door he tossed his duffel into the back seat and got into the Impala, before starting it and driving off.

Sam was up and off his bed as soon as he heard the Impala start, running down the hall towards the door and yanking the front door open just as Dean was pulling away. "DE!" He cried out, running down the steps and out to the end of the driveway, watching as his brother left. Was he just going to the store or had he gotten sick of Sam? Sighing Sam decided to head back inside, glancing up as he walked up the steps to see Sirius standing there with a letter in his mouth. Taking the letter he walked inside, shutting the door behind them and sinking down onto the couch. His stomach was twisted into knots as he read the letter.

**Dear Sam,**

**If you're reading this, it's because I've decided that my presence here is doing more harm then good. I've seen the pain and the fear in your beautiful green eyes every time you looked at me. I've seen how you tense, or cower against the wall if I'm near. I always promised you that I'd protect you, that nothing bad would ever happen to you if I was around. I know it wasn't me that hurt you, but it is me that has to live with that fear that has been placed in you. I never wanted to leave, Its just that I love you too much to keep hurting you. Don't worry about the bills, they'll be paid every month... It is for the best, you'll see. Maybe one day, in a far distant future if you want me back then I'll come. Until then, I've asked Castiel to keep an eye on you. I do love you Sam, and it kills me to do this. It's for the best. Sirius will guard you, he always has. Maybe now you'll truly be safe without me there. If you never want to see me again I'll understand, and I hope you find happiness with someone.**

**Love,**

**Dean  
><strong>

The letter fell from Sams hand, as he shook his head. Dean had left him, he didn't want him anymore. Curling up into a tiny ball - or as tiny as he could - he began to rock back and forth sobbing out "DE!" Over and over again. It was this way that Castiel found him two hours later.

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><p><em>AN: God that chapter broke my heart! R&R!_


	8. No Air

Chapter eight: No Air

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fuck.

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><p>Castiel arrived at their house two hours after Dean left, only to find a severally distraught Sam curled up on the couch rocking back and forth. Slowly moving towards the other man he ignored as Sirius stood from where he'd been and blocked his path, snarling and growling at him. Settling down onto the couch next to Sam, he slowly wrapped an arm around the taller man and pulled him into his lap. "Shh whats wrong Sam?" He asked softly, blue eyes pained by what he saw. If he knew the damage Dean leaving would cause, he wouldn't have agreed to this. To see Sam so broken, was enough to be heart breaking. "D...De...Left...Me." Sam said between sobs. Castiel continued to rub circles across Sams back.<p>

Castiel had nothing to say to that, he knew it before he'd asked what was wrong. Clearing his throat he ceased his rubbing and tightened his old on the taller man. "Did...He say why? Where he was going?" He doubt Dean would have told where he was going, but he knew it was worth a shot. Sam shook his head as he pulled back slightly, curling in on himself more as he sank down onto the couch. Castiel let him, frowning as he drew away. "I'm so Sorry Sam..." Castiel whispered, angling himself to face the taller man. "..Why...are you sorry?" Sam asked softly. Castiel took a deep breath, one he didn't need. "He told me...he was think-" "Get out." It came so quiet that Castiel was sure he'd been hearing things. "What?" "I said. Get OUT!" Sam all but snarled at the end, and with a frown Castiel disappeared from the house.

Sam couldn't believe that Castiel had known, he'd known that Dean was planning on abandoning him and he'd let him. He knew he didn't like the fact they were together, but it was just fucked up that he'd let Sams heart be ripped out like this. Sam shook his head and stretched out across the couch before burrowing his face into his arms. Sirius whimpered from where he was settled before the couch. One hand slipped down, rubbing the dog behind the ear. "Screw em all. Just me and You, eh boy?" Sam whispered, staring down at the dog. Sirius whined before licking his hand, causing a barely there smile to appear on Sams face.

He didn't know what he was going to do, with both the most important people in his life having betrayed him, hurt him. Sam forced himself off the couch and slowly shuffled towards the front door, locking it before he glanced out the window on the way past, pain shooting through his chest when he saw the Impala was really gone. How was he supposed to go on, without Dean? He'd always been there, always had his back. "It's not like him to just be a coward and leave me." Sam mumbled, glancing back out the window. He shook his head, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill over once again.

Slowly he moved back towards the couch and sank down on it, curling back into the ball as he stared down at the latest photo he'd grabbed off the wall on the way to the couch. It was of him and Dean, both of them smiling and Sam blushing because of something Dean had said. It was from before they went to misery...Missouri, Sam mentally corrected himself.

***Flashback***

Dean lead a laughing Sam out of the theater, his arm wrapped around Sams waist as they laughed and stumbled, attempting to keep from falling on their faces. They'd just gone to see the spoof of twilight 'Vampires suck' and it amused them, the stupidity of it all. Sam tripped up on Deans feet and laughing fell forward, and would have done a face plant if it weren't for the fact for Deans arms around his waist breaking his fall. Dean smirked down at his brother, leaning down slightly and whispering "Smooth Samantha. Hopefully you'll have more balance when I'm fucking you against the wall in about...twenty minutes." Sams blush grew and a light flashed causing both of them to glance up to see a photographer with a camera. "Couldn't resist. Ya'll looked too adorable."

***end flashback***

He'd given them the picture for free, saying it was refreshing to see such a young couple so in love. Hah if only he could see them now. What love? If Dean had loved him he would have never left. He threw the picture across the room, flinching when it smashed against the wall and the glass shattered, falling to the floor with a dull 'thud'. Sirius whimpered and shifted closer to the ball that was his owner, nudging at his hands. "Sorry boy." He whispered, stroking Sirius' head. The dog was the only one who'd ever been truly loyal...but even he was connected to Dean. A faint smile spread across face as he remembered his brother getting the dog for him. It seemed like a lifetime ago now.

Shaking his head he forced himself to push the thought of Dean away. He didn't know how, but he did know he'd survive. He'd make sure he did, he'd show them both that he didn't need either of them. If they could plan to rip out his heart so ruthlessly then he didn't need them. They were only holding him back anyways, right? Hell if he knew really, but it was worth a try. Taking a breath – choked as it was, it was like he couldn't breathe – he stood slowly from the couch and shuffled towards the kitchen to pull out a beer. Glancing down he noticed it was Deans favorite kind, and shuddered, he'd have to get rid of them tomorrow...he...couldn't have any reminders around.

Sirius watched from the couch, not knowing why his owner was so upset...but figuring it had something to do with the weird one who could vanish into thin air. A low growl escaped Sirius, causing Sam to look over at the dog. Sirius however was staring behind him, and when he turned around he was face to face with one of his betrayers. "What are you doing here?" Sam all but snarled out, glaring at the other man as he backed away. What the fuck was he doing here?

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><p><em>AN: Short, but figured i'd get a chapter out for ya'll since its been awhile. Who do you think it is? Dean or Castiel? As for those of ya'll that said Castiel and Sam should hook up, it's coming. But think bout it, wouldn't you be pissed if someone agreed to help the love of your life leave you? I know I sure as hell would be!_


	9. Too late to apologize

Chapter Nine: Too late to apologize

Disclaimer: I own nothing, original characters and ideas belong to Kripke. Lucky fucker.

Previously

_Sirius watched from the couch, not knowing why his owner was so upset...but figuring it had something to do with the weird one who could vanish into thin air. A low growl escaped Sirius, causing Sam to look over at the dog. Sirius however was staring behind him, and when he turned around he was face to face with one of his betrayers. "What are you doing here?" Sam all but snarled out, glaring at the other man as he backed away. What the fuck was he doing here?  
><em>

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><p>Now:<p>

"Sam..." "No! You don't get to talk! I don't want to hear it!" "Sam Please!" "No! You ripped my heart out! Just as much as he did Cas!" "And I'm sorry!" "No! You're an emotionless dick! Remember? You don't care what happens to us humans!" "I care what happens to you!" "LIAR!" Castiel recoiled from that like he'd been slapped. "Sam?" "Liar! If you cared you wouldn't have let him leave, let alone helped him!" "You deserve better then him! Sam! I-" "You what? Think you're better then him?" Sam snarled. "I've got news for you Castiel. Being an angel doesn't make you good nor does it make you better then someone! Not to me at least!" Silence stretched between them, both men staring at each other and Sirius sitting on the couch growling lowly.

The silence seemed to stretch for a long time, Castiels bright blue eyes staring into Sams dulled green ones, dull from the tears that threatened to fall, tears he'd helped put there. Castiel stepped closer, and when Sam didn't move away from him he slowly reached out to grab Sams arms, pulling the taller man against him and Sam broke, sobbing into Castiels shoulders while the angel held him upright for his knees buckled. "I'm sorry...so sorry." Castiel whispered while he held the sobbing man, collapsing back against the wall to support the added weight better. This seemed to snap Sam out of his grief and he pulled away, shaking his head. "No." He stepped backwards and turned away from the angel. "No...no.." "Sam..." "No!" "Sam Please!" "Why? You let him leave me so what, you could pick up the pieces?" "Sam-" "No! I don't want to hear your lies!" "It wasn't like that!" Sam wheeled around "Then please enlighten me. What was it like? What possessed you to think it'd be best for Dean to leave me!"

Castiel looked down at the ground before taking a unnecessary breath. "I just know that you were so afraid of him, that you couldn't be in the same room as him because of what h-" "That wasn't Dean!" "I know that Sam. You know that, but your mind and body, they just see Dean...and react to danger. I wish it wasn't that way, but it is!" "Then make me forget!" "I...what?" "Just make me forget...I...I ...Cas please." Sam pleaded, the look in his eyes seemed so broken. Castiel felt as though his heart was being ripped apart piece by piece, from the look in Sams eyes. He took a step forward, towards the taller man. "You know, there's no going back from this." Castiel warned. "I know." Sam whispered, he knew but he couldn't stand being afraid of his brother, his protector. He felt like he couldn't breathe without Dean there, couldn't find the strength to go on. He needed his brother, he knew it and as much as it hurt he was damn sure gonna get him back.

Castiel stepped closer to Sam, backing him against the wall. Their height difference wasn't overly large, and thus with simply leaning up Castiel sealed his mouth to Sams, the latters eyes fluttering closed as he forced himself to relax. Castiel allowed him several minutes, before his tongue ran along Sams bottom lip begging for entrance. Sam hesitantly granted it, moaning when Castiels tongue explored his mouth. He forced himself to remain calm, to breath through his nose and count, in his head. He had to do this, he had to. He tried, he really did but soon his breathing began to pick up and his nerves to twitch, pushing the angel away from him his dulled green eyes shot to the floor. "Sorry." He mumbled softly, and continued to gaze down. Castiel stepped back to him, forcing Sam to look up as he smiled softly and shook his head. "It's fine Samuel. I won't push you. We can take this as slow or fast as you want..promise." Honesty shined in Castiels eyes. Sam knew within his heart that the angel had been watching him, that he hadn't really left. He wouldn't, not if he really loved him like he'd claimed before. Sam smiled shyly, ducking his head slightly. "Thanks...Cas." He was used to Castiel calling him Samuel, some would assume the angel was pissed but Sam knew. He knew it was what Castiel called him as a term of affection, like...De-...no, Like he called him Sammy.

Sam knew it would take him time, possibly a long time to get over his brother. He knew though, that with Castiel there he'd make it. He knew that he'd be okay eventually...right? Of course he didn't think he'd fall in love with Cas right away, he trusted the angel but that was about it...though you'd never know unless you gave it a shot right? But then again some would swear that he was only using the angel, and he supposed they would be right on some degrees. He didn't see the angel having any issues with it. But that didn't always make it right. Sam sighed as he continued to stare downward, finding the floor interesting once again.

"Sam?" Castiel called, concerned at how long his friend had been silent. "Hm?" "You alright?" "...Yea..." Castiel didn't believe him, it was the tone. He left it alone for now though, and instead grasped Sams hand and gently tugged him towards the living room, shooing the dog off the couch and pushing Sam down onto it. Once the younger man was settled onto the couch, but still out of it Cas decided to do something. Straddling Sams lap he settled down onto the younger man, arms draped over either of Sams shoulders and fingers tangled in his hair. "Sam." He whispered softly into the other mans ear, his breath ghosting across Sams ear. When Sam only shivered, and moaned lowly Castiel dropped his lips to Sams neck, placing lingering kisses along the flesh there. Sam shifted then, head tilting to the side and his hands found Castiels hips. For a moment Castiel was afraid he'd be thrown to the ground, before the fingers dug into his hips and pulled him closer.

Castiel smirked against Sams neck, nipping the flesh gently and slowly rocking against him causing Sam to moan and dig his fingers into Castiels sides. "Mm...Yes." Sam gasped when Castiel nipped his adams apple, before moving up and forcing his tongue inside of Sams mouth. One hand drifted downwards, slipping under Sams shirt and pushing it up until he was able to pull it over Sams head and toss it over in some random direction. "Gorgeous" Castiel whispered against Sams flesh. Sams hands shifted, drifting around until they slipped under Castiels trench coat, moving up and slowly pushing it down and off the angels shoulders. "Cas..." Sam gasped, when the angel sank down to his knees between Sams legs, his lips trailing down the youngers chest, nipping and sucking on each nipple before continuing downwards. "Yes?" Castiel asked, smirking as he paused. "You...don't have to." Castiels hands had drifted down to Sams belt, about to undo it. Castiel frowned as he stared at Sam, before smiling sadly at him. "I want to. Do you not want me to?" He asked, cocking his head to the side slightly.

Sam simply closed his eyes tightly, forcing back the regret he was feeling...the feeling that he was betraying his brother. Sucking in a deep breath he gently pushed Castiels head down, hearing the angels low chuckle as he undid Sams jeans, and tugged gently. Sam lifted his ass to assist in removing his jeans and boxers. Sam gasped and thrust up when warm heat surrounded his dick, a hand buried itself into Castiels hair and grasped, pushing Castiels head down as he threw his head back with a low moan. "Fuck." He didn't care if he was hurting the angel, it felt good and he could enjoy it...it didn't remind him of...the shifter. Castieldidn't mind that Sam began thrusting into his mouth, infact he simply relaxed his jaw and throat and let Sam fuck his mouth, humming around the younger man every now and then, enjoying the moans and gasps that came from him. He only got a gasped out 'Cas' and a tightening of the hand in his hair to warn him, before Sam was cumming. He swallowed it all, licking the other man clean before tucking him away and pulling his pants up as far as they would go. Sam smiled down at him, blissful as he slowly tugged Castiel up into his lap. As he went to unbuckle the angels pants Castiel stopped him "It was about you." He whispered against Sams lips, before kissing the other man.

"Well, Wasn't that just touching." Sam jumped up, knocking Castiel to the floor at that voice. His eyes snapping to the figure standing in the doorway with Sirius beside him. "De.." Sam breathed, finding he couldn't remove his eyes from his brothers form. Sam pulled his pants up all the way, doing them up without even looking. He took a step towards Dean then, but his brothers hateful look stopped him in his tracks. "I'm not even gone twenty four hours Sam, and you're letting another man suck you off. So glad to see you can move on so easily." "De I-" "No, I don't want to hear it. I'll deal with you later. You however." Dean snarled, glaring at the angel as he got up off the ground. Sam cringed backwards at Deans tone, wrapping his arms around himself as he suddenly found the floor interesting, flinching when Castiel placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Dean audibly growled at that and Sam shrugged away from Castiels touch, shuffling off to the side. "Dean leave him out of this!" Castiel demanded, stepping in front of Sam. "Oh! So you think I'd hurt Sam? Really? I'd never hurt him!" "You already did!" Castiel countered. "That wasn't me!" "Oh so it wasn't you who left him, after promising him you'd never leave, because you were too much of a coward to stay and fight for him, earn his trust again?" Castiel shouted, causing Sam to flinch. Dean had nothing to say to that.

"Stop...Please." Sam whispered to Castiel, shifting where he stood. Both men looked at him and Dean scoffed "What? Don't want me to hurt your new fuck?" Dean snarled, stepping closer and Castiel went to block him as he reached out to grab Sams arm. Dean shoved the angel away, after punching him in the stomach and grabbed Sam then, yanking him to him. Sam gasped at the bruising grip on his arm, and shook his head as Castiel went to defend him. Tears were welling in Sams eyes as he tried to pull away from his brother. "De...Stop please!" "Was he good Sam? Was he better then me?" Dean demanded, shaking his brother. "De! Please! You're hurting me!" Sam cried out, jerking away when Dean let go as if burned and his brother fled to the corner. "Sammy...-" "Leave!" Castiel snarled, stepping between them. "You've done enough damage." Dean smirked then "I'll leave, after I kill you." He stepped closer, pulling out the angel blade as he did. Castiel didn't notice, but Sam did.

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><p><em>AN: Well, there is chapter nine. I'd like to thank SPN Schmuck and WincestftwDestielforever for their reviews. Hope everyone enjoys. Yes I left you with another cliff hanger, but please don't hang me. Next chapter is underway, and will mostly be Deans POV up till his return. Comments/suggestions are welcome and loved. R&R. Reviews are better then Sam/Cas!_


	10. All That I'm Breathing For

Chapter ten: All that i'm breathing for.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fucker.

_Previously on Because you loved me:_

_Tears were welling in Sams eyes as he tried to pull away from his brother. "De...Stop please!" "Was he good Sam? Was he better then me?" Dean demanded, shaking his brother. "De! Please! You're hurting me!" Sam cried out, jerking away when Dean let go as if burned and his brother fled to the corner. "Sammy...-" "Leave!" Castiel snarled, stepping between them. "You've done enough damage." Dean smirked then "I'll leave, after I kill you." He stepped closer, pulling out the angel blade as he did. Castiel didn't notice, but Sam did.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Now:<p>

Dean didn't want to leave, he hesitated in the car even. He knew it was for the better, that Sam could heal without him there. With a heavy heart he put the impala in reverse and drove down the road, leaving behind him his heart and soul. It pained him to do it, but there was no other way. He didn't think there was anyways, how could he possibly live with his brother when said brother couldn't stand the sight of him. He forced back a sob, fighting back the tears that wanted to break free. He couldn't cry, wouldn't do it. That was Sam, Sam was the emotional one. He was the strong one, the protector. But what kind of protector was he if he couldn't even protect Sam from himself? Okay sure, the shifter wasn't really him but to Sam it was one in the same, to his mind anyways.

It didn't take long before he was pulling out of their neighborhood, leaving his heart behind him as he drove blindly towards the local motel. He didn't know what he was going to do, how he was gonna go on. He'd most likely be driven insane by the silent, alone after years of traveling with his brother. He knew that he had to do something, to keep himself busy or he'd be running back and begging Sam to forgive him. Something Sam didn't need, he needed time to heal. From the rape and torture at the hands of the shifter, and the pain of Dean leaving. Putting the Impala in park he sat there, staring at the office to the motel. Inside the window he could see a couple, laughing and smiling as they checked into the motel. Pain shot through his chest as he watched the man grab the women by the waist, pulling her to him and planting a heated kiss upon her. Dean forced himself to look away, staring down into the empty passenger seat. "Sammy.." He whispered, closing hazel eyes against the sting of tears. It felt like he couldn't breath, each breath hurt and was short..ragged. Curling his hands around the steering wheel he pressed his face against the wheel and tried to suck in a deep breath.

Finally getting his breathing somewhat under control, he forced himself out of the Impala after shutting it off, the door slamming shut behind him as he pushed it shut before heading towards the office. He couldn't help but flinch at the sound, the echo of their bedroom door being slammed shut just the day before by his brother still haunting him. Dean shook his head, trying to rid himself of such thoughts. No, he'd survive someway or another. Pushing the office door he strode in, ignoring the couple as the girl giggled when they passed him, the man shooting him a concerned glance. Dean glared in response, before moving up to the desk. "Can I help you?" The man behind the desk asked. "Yea. Room for one." "Pay by night or the week?" "Night." "Alright, that'll be 35 dollars for the night, and your room is 1A." "Thanks." Dean grumbled, handing the man the cash and taking the keys from him, spinning on his heel and stalking out of the office.

He only made a stop at the Impala to grab his duffel bag, walking down the few feet of sidewalk to the room 1A, and unlocking it. Pain shot through his chest once more as he remembered all the times he and Sam had gone through this dance and ritual. A sigh escaped him as he dropped his duffel on the floor beside the queen sized bed. "Well...Now what?" He grumbled to himself, sinking down onto the firm mattress...with questionable stains on the comforter.

He couldn't help but remember all the other times they'd fought, and one of them had left. It'd never hurt so bad before, and he couldn't help but wonder why that was. Rubbing his eyes he forced himself to stop, to stop lingering and obsessing on the thoughts and memories of Sam...or so he tried. Standing up from the end of the bed, he moved towards the head of it and laid down on top of the comforters, mind drifting as he stared up at the ceiling.

***flash back***

Dean strode into the motel room he was sharing with Sam, anger clearly written on his face. Sam hadn't listened to him, he went to Ruby for her help once again. He'd used his powers to exorcise demons from their victims. Slamming the door behind him he nearly smirked when Sam jumped, nearly falling out of his chair. "De?" Sam asked, turning to him confused. "Sam." Dean all but growled out. Sam frowned at this, twisting in his chair to face his brother. "Whats up?" Sam asked and Dean felt his anger spike. Never had he wanted to beat his brother into the ground more then he did right at that moment. "You lied to me." Dean accused, glaring at Sam as he advanced on his brother and jerked him out of his chair. Sam jerked away from him his own eyes narrowing at Dean. "What are you on about?" Dean laughed at that. "Oh, so you don't remember promising me. Giving me your WORD that you'd stop using your powers, stop going to that whore?" Dean growled, his voice raising as he spoke. "De. She can he-" "No! Sam damnit she's tricking you! You'd rather chose a whore, a demon over me!" "De Please-" "Let you explain? How can you explain lying to me Sam?" Dean asked, shoving Sam back until he'd pinned his baby brother against the wall.

Sam winced at the force he'd been slammed against the wall. "De...Please...I can exorcise the demons without hurting or killing their vessel!" "I don't care! Sam! Castiel told me, he warned you. If you keep using your powers they'll kill you!" "They won't find me!" Dean stared at him like he'd grown a second head. "Choose Sam. Me or that whore. Because I won't be there when the angels find you, and kill you. I refuse." Sam simply stared at him, for several moments and Dean scoffed, moving away. "Guess that's my answer then, huh?" Dean growled, moving to grab his duffel bag and began to pack it. "De...Please.." Sam pleaded, moving after him and grabbing his arm. "No." "De...I love you..p-" "Then why is it so hard? Why can't you pick me over her? Why do you keep LYING to me?" "De..I told you." "Then you can deal with the consequences by yourself. I sure hope she'll be there to fight for you when the angels come. Because I won't." Dean finished packing his duffel bag and strode out the motel door, leaving a silently crying Sam behind.

***end flashback***

Dean didn't know how long he laid there, mind playing for him memories. Happy memories as well as sad, fights and sex...struggles and victories. The last one that played had been when he'd lost Sam, killed before his eyes by Jake. Sam had been stabbed in the back, literally. This memory caused him to gasp out in pain, curling into a ball as those tears he'd been holding back fell over the barrier, rolling down his cheeks and into the dirtied and stained comforter below. Gasping out he rolled, landing on the floor with a 'thump' as he struggled to get up. "Sammy." His body screamed at him, punishing him for leaving. He knew that's what was happening, he couldn't survive without his heart. Knowing what he had to do, he stood finally and shuffled towards the Impala, duffel in hand. Tossing it in the backseat he slid into the drivers and started the car, pulled out of the parking lot and gunned it down the road. He needed to beg his Sammy for forgiveness. After everything else they'd been through...surely they could survive this as well?

Pulling into the driveway a short time later he cut the engine off and moved towards the door, hoping Sam would forgive him. However what he saw once he'd opened the door caused hurt and anger to flash through him at the same time. There on his knees, between Sams legs was Castiel...and in his mouth...Sams prick. Hazel eyes closed, wishing the sight before him to be a lie, a horrible dream. However he opened his eyes as Sam came, glancing away until Sam pulled the angel up and onto his lap. He heard Castiel tell Sam it was all about him. He sneered "Well Isn't that touching." He snarled, the look of shock on Sams face was priceless as he stared. Dean was vaguely aware of Sirius standing beside him, but he ignored the dog for now. "De.." If he'd not been staring at the two of them he would have missed it, a barely there whisper of his name. Dean had smirked when Castiel was knocked to the floor, but as Sam stepped towards him the sneer was back. The look made Sam falter _Good _ Dean thought. _Fucking bastard will be punched if he comes near me right now._ "I'm not even gone twenty four hours Sam, and you're letting another man suck you off. So glad to see you can move on so easily." "De I-" "No, I don't want to hear it. I'll deal with you later. You however." He snarled, turning the hateful gaze to Castiel.

Someone he'd thought was his friend, and that betrayal hurt almost as much as Sams did. Almost, but not quite. Dean continued to glare, watching as Castiel got up off the ground. He was aware that Sam cringed back at his tone, but he couldn't find it within himself to give a fuck. He watched as Sam curled in on himself, and then that fucker had the nerve to touch what was his and he audibly growled – he smirked internally as Sam shrugged the hand off his shoulder – but outwards the glare remained. _Least Sam still remembers who he belongs to. Oh he'll be begging for forgiveness later._ Dean thought _But then again, So will I. Least my betrayal wasn't infidelity as well. _Sam them shuffled off to the side. _Good boy. _ He thought, not wanting to hurt his lover...brother if he tried to stop him.

"Dean leave him out of this!" Castiel demanded, stepping in front of Sam. _Who does that fucker think he is? Does he really think that'll stop me? _"Oh! So you think I'd hurt Sam? Really? I'd never hurt him!" "You already did!" Castiel countered. "That wasn't me!" "Oh so it wasn't you who left him, after promising him you'd never leave, because you were too much of a coward to stay and fight for him, earn his trust again?" Castiel shouted, causing Sam to flinch. Dean had nothing to say to that.

"Stop...Please." Sam whispered to Castiel, shifting where he stood. Both men looked at him and Dean scoffed "What? Don't want me to hurt your new fuck?" Dean snarled, stepping closer and Castiel went to block him as he reached out to grab Sams arm. _How dare that asshole try to stop me from touching whats mine._ Dean shoved the angel away, after punching him in the stomach and grabbed Sam then, yanking him to him. Sam gasped at the bruising grip on his arm, and shook his head as Castiel went to defend him. Tears were welling in Sams eyes as he tried to pull away from his brother. "De...Stop please!" _Oh now you want to beg? To late Sammy boy._ "Was he good Sam? Was he better then me?" Dean demanded, shaking his brother. "De! Please! You're hurting me!" Sam cried out, jerking away when Dean let go as if burned and his brother fled to the corner. _Shit! Sammy I'm so sorry!_ Dean thought in his mind, not that it did any good. "Sammy...-" "Leave!" Castiel snarled, stepping between them. "You've done enough damage." _Oh how wrong you are. I've not even started with you angel boy. _Dean smirked then "I'll leave, after I kill you." He stepped closer, pulling out the angel blade as he did. Castiel didn't notice, but Sam did.

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><p><em>AN: This is basically Deans POV of what he was doing, while he was away from Sam. His thoughts, feelings ect. Next chapter will come soon. R&R. Better then possessive Dean._


	11. Sorry

Chapter Eleven: Sorry

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fuck.

_I will stand accused with my hand on my heart._

_I'm just tryin to say I'm Sorry._

_It's all that I can say_

_You mean so much and i'd fix all that i've done_

_If I could start again_

_I'd throw it all away_

_To the shadows of regret_

_And you would have the best of me_

**Best Of Me – Sum 41**

**Previously on Because You Loved Me:**

"Stop...Please." Sam whispered to Castiel, shifting where he stood. Both men looked at him and Dean scoffed "What? Don't want me to hurt your new fuck?" Dean snarled, stepping closer and Castiel went to block him as he reached out to grab Sams arm. _How dare that asshole try to stop me from touching whats mine._ Dean shoved the angel away, after punching him in the stomach and grabbed Sam then, yanking him to him. Sam gasped at the bruising grip on his arm, and shook his head as Castiel went to defend him. Tears were welling in Sams eyes as he tried to pull away from his brother. "De...Stop please!" _Oh now you want to beg? To late Sammy boy._ "Was he good Sam? Was he better then me?" Dean demanded, shaking his brother. "De! Please! You're hurting me!" Sam cried out, jerking away when Dean let go as if burned and his brother fled to the corner. _Shit! Sammy I'm so sorry!_ Dean thought in his mind, not that it did any good. "Sammy...-" "Leave!" Castiel snarled, stepping between them. "You've done enough damage." _Oh how wrong you are. I've not even started with you angel boy. _Dean smirked then "I'll leave, after I kill you." He stepped closer, pulling out the angel blade as he did. Castiel didn't notice, but Sam did.

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><p>Now:<p>

Sam didn't know what to do, he watched in horror as Dean advanced on Cas with the angel blade tucked up behind his arm. Hidden from the angels sight. He shifted where he stood, green eyes staring into the face of his big brother, cringing at the rage he saw there. A twitch in Deans arm alerted to Sam that he'd shifted his hold on the blade, and now he'd grabbed the angel by the shoulder. Castiel still didn't notice the blade. Bolting forward he reached out, grabbing Deans wrist of the hand that held the Angel blade and tugged, placing his other hand on Deans opposite shoulder. Sam forced his brother to turn, pulling his grip from Castiel as the glare was turned on him. "Castiel, get out of here!" Sam shouted, digging his fingers into Deans shoulder and wrist as he tried to restrain his brother.

Castiel shot a confused look at Sam, and Dean jerked his arm free from Sams grasp. The angel blade twisted around as he lunged, blade aimed for Castiels chest when Sam shoved the angel backwards causing him to stumble and fall, once the angel was out of the way of immediate harm he grabbed his brother around the waist. Easily lifting him from the floor and spinning him away from the angel, placing himself between them. "Get out of here Castiel! Now!" He snarled, but his face pained as he held his brother back. "Let go of me Sam!" Dean growled, struggling to get his arms free from his brothers grasp. The rustle of wings told them both that the angel was gone and Sam released his brother.

"So, you had to save your new fuck hm?" Dean growled, glaring at his brother as he dropped the angel blade to the ground. Sam flinched at his brothers tone, but it didn't stop him from stepping into Deans space. He stared down at his brother, tears streaming down his face "You...You came back." Sam mumbled, green eyes glazed over from tears...but also sorrow. Dean willingly met his brothers stare for stare, pain ripping through his chest at the sorrow he'd put into his brothers eyes. "Always." Dean whispered in reply, hand slowly drifting up but stopped when Sam flinched away from him. Sighing Dean stepped back, glancing away from his brother to keep the pain from his face. "De." Dean looked over at Sam again. "I...-" "Its okay Sammy." Dean muttered, slowly reaching out to grasp Sams hand..which Sam allowed.

Both stood in a awkward silence for several minutes, before Sam whispered softly "Why'd you leave me? You..you promised." Dean glanced up, seeing fresh tears joining old. "I know. I...Lets sit?" He asked, nodding towards the couch. Sam nodded and Dean lead him over to the couch, leaving the angel blade where he'd dropped it. Settling down Dean made sure he was facing his brother, hand clutching Sams. "God I screwed up Sammy." Dean began. "I thought i'd be protecting you. Saving you from the pain me being here would cause-" "You didn't cause me pain!" "Yes Sam...I did. You were afraid to be in the same room as me, probably still are." He noticed his brother shaking...from fear or excitement he didn't know. "I was supposed to protect you, and I failed. Worse then that, when you needed me I couldn't be there for you because the bastard that hurt you, was wearing my skin!" Sam flinched at the raised voice and Dean took a deep breath. "Sorry." Sam shook his head, glancing away from Dean for a moment. "De?" "Hm?" "When did you stop believing in me?" Dean stared at him like he'd grown a second head. However Sam didn't notice because he wasn't looking at Dean.

Dean slipped off the couch and Sam thought he was leaving. However before he could call Dean back, there he was crouched down in front of Sam with his hands on Sams knees. "Sammy..." Deans voice was pained. "I never stopped believing in you." Dean slowly reached a hand up, watching as Sam flinched and he closed his eyes stopping his hands progression. Dean was shocked when Sams hand covered his and brought it up, holding it against his cheek. "I'm trying De..Please...Don't leave me again." "Never." Dean promised, brushing the tears that fell away with his thumb. It was such a tender action, that Sam smiled sadly at him. "If...you believe in me, then...why can't you believe that I will get over this?" "It's not that I don't believe you can, its that I don't wanna cause you pain while you heal."

Dean continued to squat there, hand cupping Sams face as hazel eyes stared into green. "You don't." Sam finally replied and Dean bit back a harsh laugh. Deciding instead to sigh. "De...No. YOU don't...the memory of the shifter...does. It's not you I'm afraid of." Sam demanded, leaning into Deans touch and letting out a contented sigh. "I'll stay Sammy...but I am sorry...and I'll make it up to you." Sam shook his head, about to tell him that there was no need when Dean placed a finger over his lips. "Yes, I do have something to make up for. But if I see Castiel again I'm going to kill him." "No! Please De. Hes still our friend..." "He took advantage of your emotional state Sam!" "I know! But please, for me?" Sam pouted at him, pulling out his famous puppy eyes and Dean broke. "Alright...for you." He sighed, brushing his thumb across Sams cheek once more. "Come on. Lets get you lunch. Can't have you starving to death on me can I?" Dean asked, standing up and gently pulling Sam up as well. Sam smirked down at his brother, rolled his eyes and shook his head fondly. "I suppose not." Sam conceded, walking with Dean towards the Impala.

It didn't take long before they were pulling up to the clock restaurant. The building was white with a teal colored roof, and it caused Sam to look at his brother with a raised eyebrow. This wasn't some crappy diner they were used to eating at. Dean shrugged "Figured I should suck up." He mumbled with a small smile as he got out of the car. Sam hesitated a moment before he too exited the Impala and met his brother at the front of the car. "No reason to." Sam replied, reaching out slowly to grab Deans hand and squeeze it gently, a small smile on his face. Dean returned the smile and squeeze, before releasing Sams hand and leading the way into the restaurant.

"Two?" The hostess asked, and Dean nodded. She grabbed two menus "Follow me please." and lead both Sam and Dean down the isles. The hostess set the menus down on the table for a booth, and Sam slid in one side while Dean slid in the other. "What can I get ya'll to drink?" Dean and Sam looked at each other "Two sweet iced teas." "Alright. I'll give you a minute to look at the menu." With that the hostess moved off, but not before allowing her eyes to roam over both men thinking 'Dear god are they models?'

Dean snickered at the hostess' look as she moved off, and Sam frowned his brows furrowed "What?" He asked, glancing back towards where the hostess went. "Nothing. Nothing." Dean replied, he'd seen the hostess checking out his brother and was glad they were both in love with each other...not that Dean didn't like women, but they weren't his Sammy. Sam rolled his eyes before going back to the menu, looking only at the salads...something that annoyed Dean to no end. A few minutes later their waitress came up with their drinks. "Ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?" She asked, smiling at Dean as her eyes roamed over his body. "We're ready to order." Sam all but growled out, it was annoying how the girls always threw themselves at Dean. "Alright." She answered, waiting for Dean to go first. "You go first babe." Dean said, smirking at the Waitress' shocked look as she slowly looked over to Sam. "Just a chicken salad for me, and a coleslaw." "Alright." She replied, writing it down. "And you?" "Bar-bar-Q Plate please." She nodded "It'll just be a few minutes." She collected the menus and walked off.

"De." Sam said softly, his hand reaching across the table to grab Deans. "Hm?" Dean mumbled, glancing up at his brother. "That was just plain evil." Sam said, after a brief pause. Dean knew that wasn't what he was going to say to begin with, but let it slip. Smirking he turned his hand over, grasping Sams in his and squeezing. "Ah. But you love me for it." Dean replied cockily. "I love you for that, and more." Sam replied, looking straight into the hazel eyes. It was in this position the waitress found them when she brought their food. "Thanks." Dean mumbled, not looking away from Sam as she set their food on the table. Shaking her head she walked away mumbling under her breath about 'why are all the hot men gay?' much to Sams amusement.

Dean was the first one to break their gaze, looking down to his plate as he unrolled his silverware from the napkin they'd been wrapped in and began to dig in. Sam smirked, shaking his head fondly before he unrolled his as well, and stabbed a piece of lettuce. This of course Dean to roll his eyes, and Sam to snicker. He knew that his habit of eating as Dean called it 'Rabbit food' annoyed his brother. Dean knew it'd be a long road ahead of them...but he hoped one day, to earn his brothers trust back.

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><p><em>AN: Whoot. So, what do ya'll think? Oh and the 'Clock restaurant' was a real restaurant that I used to go to as a kid. They sold the one in the town next to ours, and its now a mexican restaurant so that sucks ass. Anyways R&R?_


	12. No Ones Gonna Love You

Chapter twelve: No Ones Gonna Love You...More than I do

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Original characters belong to kripke. Lucky fuck.

Warnings: Graphic scenes towards end of chapter. Cursing.

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><p>It was an hour later that Dean and Sam finally returned home, the sun sinking beyond the horizon to the west. Dean gently tugged Sam inside, shutting the door behind them and pinned his brother against the door. "I will earn your trust again." Dean whispered his hot breath fanning across Sams face. Sam smiled softly at him "I trust you." He did trust Dean, it would just take time for his body to realize Dean meant no harm to him. "I love you, Sammy. More then my own life." Dean continued and Sam leaned down covering Deans mouth with his own. This of course successfully stopped Deans rambling. Granted it was not any hot make out session, but the passion was there causing Dean to pull Sam against him. When they broke apart Sam leaned down and whispered "I love you too. De." Sam gently pushed his brother back then, and guided him towards the bathroom by his shoulders. "You however, need a shower." He mumbled playfully, narrowly avoiding Deans playful smack. What Dean didn't see as he'd closed the door, was the frightened look in Sams eyes before he shook his head. <em>This is De. He'd never hurt me.<em> Sam thought as he turned and walked back out into the living room.

Sam slowly made his way into the kitchen, taking off his shoes along the way and depositing them next to the door. Once that was done he walked past the couch, hand running over the top of Sirius' head as he passed. Sirius slipped off the couch, following his owner to the kitchen where Sam scooped up the dogs bowl and filled it with his food, before setting it down once more. He didn't know how long he stood there leaning against the counter before he felt arms wrap around his waist and a solid heat covering his back. Sam relaxed figuring it was Dean, however when he took a breath he realized he was wrong and jerked away from the arms that'd wrapped around him. Turning once he was safely away from the angel he allowed his eyes to narrow, glaring at his friend. Castiel stood there stunned, blinking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. "Castiel!" Sam hissed before his eyes snapped towards the doorway, sighing in relief when he didn't see Dean standing there. "What are you doing here?" Sam continued, leaning back against the counter behind him.

Castiels head cocked to the side slightly, before he stepped towards Sam. "I thought that much was obvious. Samuel." Castiel replied, not missing Sams glance behind him towards the door. "Something you're hiding?" Castiel asked staring into Sams eyes. "I have nothing to hide except you! If De-" "So you didn't tell him to get lost?" Castiel cut off, anger lacing his words. Sam shot him a 'are you dumb' look "No. Why would I?" "Gee...I dunno, maybe the fact that he abandoned you? That he broke his promise and left?" "He came back. He-" "That doesn't change the fact he still hurt you! Sam I saw the pain he caused you, I saw you broken on the couch! How can you act like that never happened?" Castiel pleaded. "We all make mistakes." Sam replied staring straight at the angel. Castiel recoiled from the hatred and anger in those green eyes. "Sa-" "What is going on?" Sam and Castiel both jumped and turned towards the door where Dean was standing with his fists clenched at his sides. "De!" Sam moved away from the counter, shifting around the angel and moving to his brothers side. Once he'd reached Dean, Sam slipped a arm around his brothers waist and placed himself between Dean and the angel. "Nothing. He was just leaving." Sam stated clearly, so Castiel could hear as well.

Castiel scoffed "You have him so tangled up in the webs of your lies..so stuck on you Dean." He shook his head before looking at Sam. "No one will ever love you as much as I do. Next time he hurts you though, don't expect me to pick up the pieces if you're just gonna run back to him the first chance you get." Castiel growled. "He-" "There won't be a next time. Now do as Sam said and get the hell out of our house and out of our lives." Deans voice was soft, quiet but deadly. His arms wrapped around Sams waist, pulling him from in front of Dean and into Deans side. They both stood, glaring at the angel until the rustle of wings informed them he'd left.

Dean quickly released Sam as soon as the angel was gone, causing his brother to frown at his haste. "De?" He asked quietly, stepping towards his brother. "Don't." Deans posture was tense and his eyes clenched shut, fingers digging into the back of the door frame. Sam paused at his brothers tone before he stepped forward, forcing himself to do so. _This is De._ He reminded himself as he hesitantly wrapped his arm around his brothers waist and pulled the shorter man away from the door frame and back into his chest. "Sam. Let. Go." Dean growled out, trying to pull from Sams arms. "Why?" Sam asked his tone carrying the hurt he felt but released his brother none the less. Dean turned towards him and frowned, caressing his face. "I'm sorry...but...I refuse to be touched while his smell is all over you." Sam blinked and then gasped "De! I'm-" "Its alright Sammy...really." "Shower, yes I'll go shower." Sam rambled before pulling back and turning..or he tried to. Dean however stopped him and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before mumbling "Love you." against them. Sam smiled at him and rushed off to take a shower. "More then my own life." Dean continued before he shrugged it off and headed into the living room.

Dean didn't know how long it'd be until his brother trusted him again...as much as it pained him to admit that Sam didn't. But he did know, that there were still evil fucks out there...demons...monsters...he knew it was their job to hunt them, to kill them...but he couldn't find it within himself to give a flying fuck. Dean sank down onto the couch and burrowed his face into his hands, shoulders hunched as he allowed a sigh to escape him. Never for the life of him did he ever think his best friend outside his family, would betray him by doing such a thing. He didn't hear the bathroom door close or Sams footsteps until Sam had perched himself on the arm of the couch next to him, his hand rubbing across Deans back as his other arm wrapped around Deans chest pulling him towards him. Dean allowed Sam to tug him over and rested his head against Sams side...only vaguely aware that Sam was damp and shirtless in only a towel. "De?" He heard the concern in Sams voice and glanced up, noticing the sorrow that was there as well as worry. Dean leaned away and before Sam could react tugged him down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around Sams waist and pulling him close.

Dean knew he should resist, push his hormones down and away. Sam was still scarred from the shifter and hurt by him. But Dean couldn't help it, he needed Sam..more then his brother would ever know. Sam moaned as Deans lips latched onto his neck and Dean began to nip and suck, determined to leave a hickie. Sam shifted and untied the towel so he could straddle Deans lap, his head tilting to one side to give Dean more access as he repeated in his head _This is De...he needs me...wants me...loves me._ Over and over in his head. Deans mouth trailed down Sams neck, nipping his collar bone as his hands trailed from around his waist lower. Sam arched into Deans mouth, closing his eyes as he allowed himself to just feel. Dean stood bringing Sam with him and Sam instinctively wrapped his legs around Deans waist, moaning at the clear feel of his brothers arousal as Dean carried him towards the bedroom. "God Sammy...Love you...want you." Dean whispered into Sams ear as he walked.

Dean gently laid Sam down in the center of the bed, climbing over to cover him with his own body. Sam opened his eyes, meeting Deans hazel ones glazed over with lust...but the love was clear there as well. "De." Sam whispered as he reached up to caress Deans face which Dean leaned into before pulling his brothers head down and crushing their mouths together. Deans tongue invaded his mouth, caressed his own and teased it into Deans mouth. Sam moaned into the kiss, his hands roaming down Deans sides and slipping beneath his t-shirt before tugging it up. They only broke apart long enough to pull the shirt over Deans head and toss it away once it fell down Deans arms. "So gorgeous." Dean whispered as his eyes roamed over the man below him. "Want you...can I have you Sammy? Please?" Sam smiled softly at him "You don't even have to ask." Dean still waited and Sam knew it was to make sure Sam wasn't afraid. "Always De. Make love to me..please...make me forget." Dean leaned down crushing their mouths together again, the kiss filled with passion, love, regret...but mostly love and want. "Your wish...is my command." Dean murmured against Sams lips before his mouth trailed over Sams jaw and down his throat. Nipping sucking and licking as he went. Sam groaned at the slow progress, it was torture. All he wanted was to feel his De inside him, reclaiming him...healing him. But he knew this was about Dean as much as it was about him. Dean was hurting, it was clear to Sam and he wanted to make it go away.

Sam gasped and arched upwards as Deans mouth closed over his right nipple and bit it gently, sucking and licking it until it was a hard little nub. Once it was he turned his attention to the other, grinning up at Sams meows and moans. He was so hard it hurt, but he would wait...he would worship Sam as he deserved before thinking of himself. Dean wanted to show Sam that he'd never hurt him, that to Dean he was worthy of the world...deserved to be worshiped and loved...treasured. Sams head thrashed from side to side as he gasped and moaned, arching into his brothers touch. It was like fire coursing through him, it always was with Dean. Dean continued down, his tongue circling Sams belly button before being thrust in. Sams body arched upwards and a low deep moan ripped from his throat as Dean started tongue fucking his belly button...a silent promise of what was to come. "God!" "De will do." Dean replied to Sams cry, a smirk playing across his face.

"De! Please!" "Please what Sammy?" "More!" "Patience Sammy...good things come to those who wait." Sam groaned, Dean always did love torturing him like this...but it was always so fucking good. Dean always took care of Sam, sometimes multiple times before he even thought of his own needs. Dean slipped back off the bed causing Sam to groan in protest. "Shh Sammy...just removing something...very uncomfortable." He smirked down at his angel. Once he'd removed his jeans and boxers he was back over Sam, he dipped his tongue into Sams belly button once more before he moved further south, trailing kisses down Sams thigh and calf of one leg and up the other, skipping the one spot Sam wanted him to touch the most. "De! Please!" "Yes?" "Touch me!" Dean smirked and caused Sam to gasp and arch his hips upwards thrusting his prick deep into Deans throat when Dean suddenly took his prick in his mouth. Dean relaxed his throat as soon as he took Sam, breathing through his nose and moaning when Sam thrust roughly into his mouth. Sam closed his eyes and moaned, a hand burrowing in Deans short hair.

Dean loved the way Sam tasted, vanilla and cinnamon...and strictly Sam. Sucking lightly he pulled his head up, his tongue circling Sams prick as he moved and dipped into the slit on the swollen head, causing Sam to cry out and press his head back into the mattress. Dean mentally grinned, Castiel couldn't ever get Sam so debauched. Moaning around Sam again he bobbed his head down, deep throating his brother and swallowing around him. Sam thrust his hips up once more and Dean pulled back with a pop causing Sam to groan in protest. "Sammy...I want you to fuck my mouth..." "De.." Sam moaned and pushed Deans head back down over the head of his prick. Dean relaxed his jaw and ran his tongue along the vein on the underside of Sams prick to encourage his brother. Soon enough Sam was thrusting up into Deans mouth and forcing him to deep throat him. Dean remained lax and silent, simply running his tongue on the underside of Sams prick every thrust. After several thrusts Dean moaned and when Sam pulled back he bobbed his head down and sucked while moaning around Sam, swallowing him down. "DE!" Was the only warning he got before thick hot cum was squirting down his throat. Dean swallowed it eagerly, closing his eyes at the taste and moaning. He slowly pulled back, licking his brother clean.

Crawling up he pressed his mouth to Sams, who opened willingly and allowed Deans tongue to invade his mouth, the flavor of himself invading as well. When they broke apart Sam sighed "Love you." Dean smirked "Love you too...but I aint done with you yet." he replied before crawling back down Sam, whos legs spread instinctively. Dean only paused to thrust his tongue into Sams belly button twice, and disappeared between his brothers thighs. Sam gasped out a moan as Deans tongue swiped over Sams entrance, grinning at his brothers reaction. He'd needed...wanted Sam relaxed for this, he only wanted to bring his brother pleasure. Deans tongue circled his brothers entrance before lightly pressing inwards, slowly forcing its way past the ring of muscles the first time as his hand rubbed up and down Sams stomach in a soothing motion. Sam tensed for a moment before forcing himself to relax _It's De...he won't hurt me..he wants me...loves me._ Sam reminded himself before moaning and thrusting back towards Deans face as Deans tongue was thrust in and out of his entrance, Deans teeth nipping at the muscles once every four thrusts or so. Sam moaned, feeling himself hardening from the stimulation, he'd always loved Dean tongue fucking him... De was basically the only person who ever had, it was almost their thing. Of course he didn't know if Dean liked doing it as much as Sam loved him doing it.

Deans tongue continued to thrust, unawares of Sams thoughts as his hand drifted down to play with his brothers balls, encouraging him to cum again. It didn't take long before Sams muscles clenched down on Deans tongue and his body went tense before he came with a scream/moan of "FUCK! DE!" Dean continued to tongue fuck him through his orgasm before moving up and licking Sams stomach and chest clean. He knew dirty talk was most likely out, he didn't doubt the shifter was cruel to his brother during sex. Reaching for the bedside table he grabbed the lube and coated his fingers. "De! Please...make love to me." "Shhh Almost there Sammy...want to make sure you're good and stretched baby." Dean whispered into Sams ear as he slipped two fingers into Sams relaxed entrance, circling and scissoring them to stretch him more. He even curled them to brush his brothers prostate. After a few moments he slipped a third in and continued as he whispered softly in Sams ear. "I love you Sammy. More then you'll ever know. Your gorgeous, sexy, loving, brilliant, and all...mine." Dean punctuated the last two words by brushing Sams prostate with his fingers causing Sam to moan and press down on his fingers.

"De...please...I'm ready." Dean smiled at him before pressing his lips to Sams as he blindly slicked up his prick before lining himself up to Sams entrance. "You sure Sammy?" Dean asked, staring into Sams gorgeous green eyes. "More then sure...I've missed you...want you...Please De, reclaim me...make me yours again." Dean groaned at the words before he slowly pushed in, pausing each time Sam tensed and whispered soothingly to him. Once he was in to the hilt he pressed a kiss to Sams eyelids, nose, and lips. "Mine." He half growled half whispered as he slowly pulled out and thrust back in, angled to brush Sams prostate on each thrust. Sam moaned and thrust with him "Yours...yours De." Their thrusts remained slow, and gentle. Dean peppered kisses over Sams face, neck and shoulders. During sex was one the few times he was ever affectionate, overly so. Sams hands ran up and down Deans back, enjoying the ways his brothers muscles rippled with each thrust. Low moans escaping Sam and groans from Dean as they came together over and over. Dean made sure to draw it out, whenever he felt himself about to cum or Sams muscles tensing he'd stop much to Sams annoyance.

Finally Deans thrusts increased slightly and broke rhythm before tensed and released deep inside Sam, moaning when Sams muscles clenched around him milking him. He forced himself to continue thrusting through their orgasms, before collapsing on top of Sam. "Mine." Dean whispered, kissing the love mark on Sams neck. "Yours." Sam agreed, wrapping his arms and legs around Dean. "Stay in me...please?" He pleaded, and Dean couldn't have refused if he wanted to. Both of them drifted asleep, cum drying between them but neither could give a fuck.

Castiel closed his eyes, hidden in the bathroom off the master bedroom...Sam was supposed to be his, but Dean was there, claiming him. Anger coursed through the angel before he vanished. They would pay.

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><p><em>AN: So, how do you like their make up sex? I know it seems soon since the shifter tortured, abused and raped Sam, but Sam is determined to recover, to trust Dean again because he desperately wants his brother to stay with him. He loves Dean more then his own life, and has always felt safe with Dean so he dislikes being afraid of Dean. Figured ya'll deserved a lemon after all the chapters i've put ya through xD SO! R&R? What do ya'll think Castiels gonna do?_


	13. To All The Pain, This is GOODBYE

Chapter thirteen: To All The Pain, This is GOODBYE

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fucker.  
>Warnings: Graphic scenes.<p>

Previously:

Castiel closed his eyes, hidden in the bathroom off the master bedroom...Sam was supposed to be his, but Dean was there, claiming him. Anger coursed through the angel before he vanished. They would pay.

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><p>Now:<p>

Dean was the first one to wake the next morning, Sam still wrapped around him like a monkey and he was still buried deep inside his brother. Dean smiled down at Sam, he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, all the stress and worry seemed to be erased from his face. Dean reached up, brushing Sams hair from his face before he placed a soft kiss to Sams eyelids and lips. "My Sammy." He whispered to no one really. "Mmm." Sam moaned, shifting in his sleep and tightening his arms and legs around Dean, pushing Dean deeper into himself. Dean gasped at the feeling, knowing he was growing hard inside his brother. Dean smirked and gently thrust into Sam, pulling out slowly before thrusting in again...as best he could when he was pinned to his brother. Deans lips trailed down Sams neck, nipping at the flesh. "Mmm. I could get used to this wa-" Sam cut off to moan as he slipped his legs up higher and released Dean from his arms allowing his brother to get better leverage. "Your just too...sexy to resist." Dean replied as he continued his relaxed thrusts, slow and deep as he sucked on Sams collar bone. "Hmm. So my brilliant plan to seduce you this...god...this morning worked?" Sam managed to get out, moaning after he'd finished speaking.

"Mmm. You planned this hm?" Dean asked as he nipped his brothers throat, right on his adams apple causing Sam to stretch his neck so Dean had easier access. "Mmm..Oh right there...De...Yes." Dean smirked as he thrust in the same direction again, brushing Sams prostate. "Simply evil of you...Not that I'm complaining...I wouldn't mind waking you up every. Morning. Like. This." The last few words were punctuated with a thrust aimed directly at Sams prostate causing Sam to thrust back against him harder. "Shame...It wont happen." Sam replied breathlessly. "Oh? Why is that?" Dean asked, feeling his orgasm building up rather quickly. "Well...FUCK!" "Yes?" "One...y..you would fuck me raw...t..two... you'd get bo...bored. Of me." Sam replied, breath hitching each time Dean brushed his prostate. "Hmm...point one is legit...second one is just insane. I'll never get tired of you. Your. Mine." Dean thrust against Sams prostate with the last two words causing his brother to cum, his muscles clenching around Dean and milking Deans own orgasm from him.

Once they'd both recovered Dean slowly pulled out of his brother and grinned "I do believe, we need a shower." Sam nodded and Dean rolled over and got off the bed before pulling Sam up with him, scooping him up and ignoring his cry of protest. Dean smirked and carried his brother towards the bathroom only setting him down long enough to adjust the water before pulling Sam into the shower with him. "Faster if we share one." Dean said, and Sam shot him a 'yea right' look because they both knew neither could keep their hands to themselves. Dean knew Sam had to be slightly uncomfortable after being fucked twice, so he placed his brother under the spray of water and grabbed the wash cloth. Once it was lathered with soap he grinned and tugged Sam out from under the spray, and began to run the wash cloth over Sams chest and stomach. "Oh? So I get worshiped last night for hours...and it continues today?" Sam asked huskily as he leaned back against the cold tiles. "Damn right. Only the best for my baby." Dean replied stretching up to press a chaste kiss to Sams lips as he continued to wash his brother, removing the evidence of their activities the night before. Dean slipped to his knees to wash Sams legs and privates, using lingering touches down there. "De...behave.." Sam gasped when Dean began to stroke him.

Dean frowned and shot Sam his best puppy dog eyes, causing Sam to chuckle and shake his head. "Tonight...if you behave." That caused Dean to beam, and fluidly raise from his knees. "Turn." Sam chuckled and shook his head before he turned so Dean could wash his back, ass and back of his legs. Once Sams body was clean Dean gently prodded him under the water so he could wash his own hair...freaking sasquatch.

While Sam was rinsing Dean washed off himself, before they switched places and Dean washed his hair. It didn't take very long before they were back in their room both donning towels and pulling out clean cloths for the day. Sams movements were a little stiff, a sign of his discomfort. Dean dressed and waited until Sams boxers and jeans were on before he walked over and wrapped his arms around Sams waist. Sam paused in getting dressed and turned in his brothers arms, wrapping his own around Dean. "Whats wrong love?" Sam asked, staring down at Dean. "I caused you pain." Sam blinked before it clicked and he shook his head, pressing a kiss to Deans lips. "Its a good pain. It reminds me you love me...want me." Sam reassured his brother before pulling back enough to pull on his shirt. Dean stared at him for a few moments before he nodded, knowing Sam wouldn't lie just to spare his feelings. "So...What are we doing today?" Dean asked as they headed down the hall and into the living room. Sam lead the way to the kitchen, opening the back door so Sirius could go outside to use to bathroom. Dean pulled out a frying pan and opened the fridge while Sam grabbed Sirius' bowl and filled it. "Mmm Dunno. Don't you work today?" Sam asked, secretly missing hunting...but he wanted a normal stress free life with his brother. One where he didn't have to fear for his brothers life every day.

"Damn...I do. You'll be alright home alone?" Dean asked, they both knew he was referring to if Castiel came around. "I'll be fine. Sirius is here. He knows we don't want Castiel around." Dean nodded as he stirred the eggs before pouring them onto the frying pan. Sam set the dogs bowl down and walked over to the cupboard and grabbed the bread, pulling out four pieces and slipping them in the toaster. "True...course ya know...I could always call in sick." Dean smirked, using a spatula to tend to the eggs. Sam shook his head, putting the toast on two plates and walking over to Dean to wrap his arms around Deans waist. "Tempting as that is...you need to go to work. You're just a phone call away if I need you." Sam replied, dipping his head to press a kiss to Deans neck. "If you want me to behave...I suggest not teasing." Dean replied, turning his head to the side and capturing Sams mouth with his. "Meh. But you're so hard to resist." Sam half joked after he pulled away slightly.

"Oh! Be still my heart!" Dean replied before turning and smacking Sams ass playfully. "Shoo, before I take you over the island counter." "Promises promises." Sam replied before side stepping away from Deans grabbing hands. Both of them were glad things were back to the way they were supposed to be, for the most part. Granted Sam had to remind himself that Dean wouldn't hurt him when he'd smacked his ass...but he was feeling safer around his lover..protector and brother. "Tease!" Dean jokingly cried after Sam as he moved out into the dining room with the pitcher of Orange juice. He returned to the kitchen and sighed "I've missed this." "What?" "Our ease...Joking with each other and being relaxed around each other." "So have I Sammy." Dean replied, glancing to see Sam pouring two cups of coffee and fixing it how each liked it. Dean divided the eggs and placed them on the plates, carrying them out to the table after shutting off the stove. He placed one plate in front of Sam and leaned over to press a quick kiss to Sams cheek before settling down in his chair.

"You planning on going anywhere today?" Dean asked between bites, luckily. Sam thought about it for a few minutes before he shook his head "No. Gonna stay home and clean." It might have bothered some men, that they seemed like the house wife by Sam loved it, he loved Dean coming home to dinner already cooked, or the house cleaned, or clothes washed. He loved it because he was making Dean proud, and showed Dean he loved him by doing little things. It was his way of worshiping Dean. It was also his way to prove to Dean that he was wanted here, since he doubted his brother wanted a lover who didn't do their share. Dean nodded "Alright. Cause if ya did I'd leave ya the Impala." "and walk to work?" "Yes." "No De. You take the car." "...If you're sure." "I am." Sam said standing to collect their now empty plates and headed into the kitchen. Dean brought in the cups and set them in the sink on top of the plates before pinning his brother against the counter. "You know. Sometimes I swear i'm dreaming." Dean spoke softly, his right hand running up Sams back. "Oh?" "Yea...cause you're too good for me." Dean replied before leaning up and kissing his brother who willingly opened his mouth, allowing Dean to take control of the kiss. Too soon in boths opinion they pulled apart. "I could say the same." Sam replied, cupping Deans face. Dean leaned into the touch before turning his head and kissing Sams palm. "I've gotta go to work." "Yea." "Don't want to." "But you have to." "Yea." Dean sighed before reluctantly pulling away from Sam, during their kiss they'd ended up flush against each other.

Dean took Sams hand and lead him to the living room, where he slipped on his boots. "See ya tonight." Sam nodded "Have a good day at work, love." Sam replied before Dean slipped out the front door and Sam shut and locked it behind him. Sam was still getting used to watching Dean leave, and forcing himself to remember his brother wasn't going up against some killer monster. Sam walked back into the kitchen and let Sirius back in, before he started on the dishes. He knew he had eight hours to kill before Dean would be home, eight hours to be driven insane by boredom. Sighing he focused on washing the dishes, taking his time with them.

It didn't take long before the dishes were washed and dried. Sam walked into the living room and pulled out the vacuum, as well as the duster. He then began to dust things off, figuring it smarter to start from the top and work the way down. Two hours later the house had been dusted and vacuumed. Sirius had settled himself on the couch while his owner cleaned, ears remained perked as he listened for any sounds out of place. Sam exited their bedroom pushing the vacuum back into the closet and putting the duster away before he glanced towards his dog. "What do you say about a walk big boy?" He asked walking over to where the dog was resting. Sirius' tail began to wag as he lifted his head, peering up at his owner. Sam chuckled "Alright, come on." Sirius followed Sam to the door, where Sam clipped his leash onto his collar and both headed outside. Sam figured a nice walk around the neighborhood would relax him, and give him time to think.

He didn't know what Castiel would do since he'd been rejected, to be completely honest the angel came no where close to comparing with Dean. Dean knew him inside and out, a connection not just from being lovers but because Dean raised him, protected him all his life. Dean knew Sam better then anyone, sometimes he believed his brother knew him better then he knew himself. Just as Sam knew Dean better then anyone else. It was how he knew his brother needed last night just as much as he did. He knew that last night was Deans way of making up to Sam, apologizing for leaving even if Sam didn't really blame him. It hurt, like nothing else in the world to know that Dean could leave him. But he was there now, home again. Sam knew one thing for sure, he never wanted to go through that pain again...ever. He was determined to keep his brother, he knew he couldn't force Dean to stay if he wanted to leave but he'd do everything in his power to make Dean want to stay.

Sam had been so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't notice the other man until he bumped into him. Blinking Sam quickly shied away, stepping towards the side and staring at the other guy. "Sorry...wasn't paying attention..." "I noticed." Sam cringed, the man sounded pissed. "You live with that blonde guy. Who drives the impala don't you?" The guy questioned. Sam blinked "Yes...How do you know?" "I've seen ya'll together. I'm Chris. I live two houses down from you." "Sam." "So Sam, what has you so distracted you're not paying attention?" Chris asked, arching an eyebrow at him. "Nothing...really." Sam replied, shifting away slightly and noticing that Sirius had placed himself between Sam and Chris. "Ah...So who is the blonde guy to you?" "Huh?" "Brother, friend, fuck buddy, lover?" "I don't see how it's any of your business." Sam replied as his gaze narrowed. "Just curious. You and him seem close, course there is that brunette you seem close to too...you a whore or something?" Sirius snarled. "No. Dean is my lover you fucking asshole. The 'brunette' is our...was our friend. Now, good day." Sam turned then and headed back towards their house. Sirius kept himself between his owner and the man.

Sam remained inside the rest of the day, and was just setting out Dinner when Dean came home. Sirius barked and ran up to him, jumping up so Dean would pet him. "Hey big boy. Where is our Sammy?" Sam could hear Dean ask. Sirius barked again and bolted into the dining room, Dean following a moment later. Dean smiled and walked up "Dinner looks great baby." Dean murmured before pulling Sam against him and kissing him. Sam melted into Deans embrace, opening his mouth when he felt Deans tongue prodding at his lips. A low moan escaped Sam as he wrapped his arms around Dean, allowing Dean control of the kiss as usual. To soon in Sams opinion Dean pulled away and smirked, obviously pleased with Sams reaction to his kiss. "How was your day baby?" Dean asked as he forced Sam to sit down, before he went and finished bringing out the food as well as the red wine. Sam had cooked up steak with a side of salad, corn and green beans. Sam smiled at him "It was alright." Dean settled down into his chair. "Sam..." He knew his lover was keeping something from him. "I kind of ran into this asshole who lives down the street when I took Sirius for a walk..." "Yes?" "He...asked me if I was a whore, because he said I seemed close to you and Castiel." "He what?"

Dean went to stand up, obviously about to go kick the dudes ass but Sam grabbed his hand. "De...please...I set him straight...please." Dean lingered for a minute before sitting back down but he refused to release Sams hand. Lifting his wine glass he nodded towards Sams, who lifted his as well. "To a fresh start Sammy...no more monsters...no more Castiel...just me, you and Sirius." Sam smiled "To a fresh start, pain free." Dean nodded and they both tucked into their dinners. Dean complimenting Sams skills between bites. Yes, Sam could get used to this life.

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><p><em>An: So, what do ya'll think? Basically a chapter of healing for the boys. Chris may or may not make another appearance, I haven't decided yet. Castiels plan will be revealed in a few chapters, just wanna focus on the boys for now. They deserve some happiness before more drama comes, right? R&R!_


	14. Put Your Lights On

Chapter fourteen: Put your lights on

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Chris. Original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fuck.

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><p>It was the next morning and Sam jerked awake covered in sweat. Deep breaths were taken as he glanced around the room, his green eyes landing on the slumbering figure next to him. Collapsing back against the bed he covered his eyes with his arm and sighed, it was just a dream. "Sammy?" Deans voice was rough with sleep, but Sam could hear the concern lingering beneath the surface. "Hm" "You alright?" Dean asked, shifting on the bed to pull Sam against his body. Sams arm was pulled away from his eyes and he allowed it, letting it fall to his side as Dean leaned over him slightly and waited. "M'fine. It was just a dream..." Sam replied softly, glancing away. It'd just been a dream but it'd seemed so real.<p>

Dean remained where he was, his eyes searching Sams for several moments before he reached up and brushed Sams bangs from his face. Dean didn't care that Sams hair was dampened with sweat. "You sure?" Dean finally asked, slipping his other arm under Sams back and pulling the taller man to him even more. "M'sure." Sam replied as he rolled over and burrowed his face into Deans shoulder, used to sleeping further down the bed then Dean. "It was just so...real." "What was it about?" Dean asked, rubbing circles across Sams back. "Castiel." Dean tensed and stilled all movement, a low growl rumbling up from his chest. "De?" Sam whimpered at his brothers tenseness.

"What. About. Him?" Dean grit out between clenched teeth as he forced his body to relax, if only to calm Sam. "I..." "Yes?" "I...dreamed he was...going to try to destroy the world." Dean blinked, he knew Sam still had visions sometimes, though they were extremely rare. "Its alright. It was just a dream." Dean repeated Sams earlier words and Sam sighed into Deans shoulder, his own arms wrapping around Deans waist. "I know." Sam replied, hoping that was all it was. They continued to lay there, wrapped up around each other for awhile. So long that neither knew exactly how long it'd been, before Dean reluctantly pulled back from Sam. "We've gotta get up." Dean whispered to his brother, hating the fact that he had to leave Sam home alone while he went to work.

Sams arms tightened around Deans waist as he shook his head "Can't you call in sick?" Sam asked softly, hopefully. Dean chuckled softly and shook his head, pressing a kiss to Sams forehead "I want to...but I need to go to work babe." Dean replied and sighed when Sam reluctantly released him. Dean sat up on his side of the bed, feeling it dip as Sam scooted up behind him and pressed his face against Deans bare torso. Neither seemed to care that they were both naked as the day they were born, why should they? "You'll be home for dinner?" Sam asked softly, running one of his hands up and down the side of Deans thigh. Deans hand was placed over Sams, squeezing gently as he halted its movement. "Yes. I give you my word." Dean swore, knowing he'd do everything in his power to get home in time for dinner. Sam nodded and turned his hand over in Deans grip, squeezing Deans hand before he pulled away to let Dean get up to get ready for work.

Sam laid back using Deans pillow for his own as he watched Dean get dressed, a small smile spread across face. He knew that women...and some men found his brother attractive, but none of them ever got to see the true beauty like Sam did. Dean knew his brother was watching him, and smirked after buttoning his jeans. He turned towards Sam with his shirt in his hand as he did so, raising an eyebrow at his brother. "See something you like?" He asked in a teasing tone. "Mm Lots." Sam replied as his eyes roamed over his brothers body. Dean chuckled "Don't objectify me." He murmured in a teasing tone, causing Sam to snicker. Both knew where Dean had originally said that line, when Bella had suggested she and Dean have sex after a job. "But I thought you liked it when I objectified you." Sam replied with a playful pout, which evolved into a smirk as Dean approached the bed.

Sam had no time to react before Dean jerked the covers down, revealing Sam in all his nude glory. A squeak escaped Sam before he could force it back, causing Dean to smirk as his own gaze roamed over Sams body. "Your the only person I love objectifying me." Dean replied before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to Sams lips before he pulled back and pulled on his shirt. Sam snorted as he continued to lay there, not bothering to cover back up. "Admit it, I'm the only person you love period." "Hmm...I dunno about that..." "Dean." "Alright alright!" Dean chuckled "Yes you're the only one I love." He loved teasing his brother sometimes, but he knew if he wasn't careful teasing about other lovers could upset Sam. Sam grabbed a pillow from the bed and chucked it at his brother "Get out and go to work. Jerk." Dean ducked the pillow and snickered as he walked towards the door. "Alright , bitch." Sam chuckled and shook his head as Dean left their bedroom.

Sam continued to lay there for a few more minutes before finally getting out of the bed, pulling on his boxers and jeans he stood up and walked out of the room while buttoning and zipping them. A quick glance out the front window told him Dean was already gone, heading off to work. He headed into the kitchen then and filled Sirius' bowl before letting Sirius outside. Sam knew he seemed to be doing the same thing day in and day out, some would find it boring but he found it relaxing. He felt safe with doing his routine, of course now he was slightly creeped out by this...Chris dude. He seemed like an asshole, and caused the hair on the back of Sams neck to stand on end. He didn't know what the mans issue was...and he didn't think he wanted to find out.

Sams thoughts were interrupted however, when the door bell rang. Blinking he glanced towards the back door, opening it to let Sirius in. "Guard." He whispered softly and Sirius was alert, trailing beside his owner as Sam went to the front door and opened it slightly. Sirius stuck his head out between Sams leg and the door, a low growl ripping from his vocals as Sam blinked. "What do you want?" He bit out, eyes narrowing slightly at the man standing on the front porch. Chris. "Do you always answer your door half naked?" Chris asked, his eyes roaming over Sams chest. Sam glare increased and he folded his arms across his chest. "What do you want?" Chris shrugged "Can't a guy be neighborly?" He asked, wearily eying Sirius who had shoved his way past the door and was standing in front of Sam.

"If you hadn't assumed I was a whore, sure. But considering you think I'm a whore...No. Definitely not while my lovers gone." Sam knew that Chris saw Dean leave, which made him even less trusting of the man. Why wait till Sam was alone to come over? Chris glared at the mention of Dean before scoffing "Paranoid much? Besides I wouldn't think you were a whore if you didn't have two different men coming and going at different hours of the night." Sam blinked at this. "What?" Chris laughed "Yea, your uh 'friend' went in your house last night around eleven and didn't come out till two in the morning. He looked rather 'happy'" Sam blinked. "Right...Well I'm busy so bye." Sam shut the door in the mans face, Sirius having backed inside when Sam stepped away from the door. What the hell was that guy talking about? Castiel hadn't been around...unless...he had watched him and Dean making love... Sam felt slightly sick at that thought.

Sam didn't know what he was supposed to do if what Chris had said was true. He sank down onto the couch blindly, his hand stroking Sirius' head as the dog whined, nudging at his hand. Sam didn't know if he should tell Dean or if he should confront Castiel...they had just agreed that their lives would be Castiel free. Should he just keep it to himself? A low sigh escaped him as he glanced down at Sirius, shaking his head. "If you see Castiel, tell us okay boy?" He whispered and Sirius barked, staring at Sam. "Good boy." Sam praised, knowing the dog would obey the command no matter what. Sam continued to sit there, staring at the carpet in front of him for awhile, before he forced himself to shake it off and raised up off the couch. He knew that one day they'd most likely be forced to confront Castiel. But he wished to put it off as long as he possibly could.

Sam moved into their bedroom, green eyes roaming over the bed and a smile spread across lips as he remembered last night...

_Dean gently pushed him backwards until his legs hit the bed, falling back onto the soft mattress. He barely had any time to react, or drag Dean down with him. Their kiss broke briefly but as soon as Dean landed on top of him on the bed he pressed their mouths together, his tongue mapping out every inch of Sams mouth. Sam moaned as his hands clutched at Deans shoulders, pulling his brother closer to him if it were possible as his hips rutted up against Deans and he could feel his brothers erection. Too soon in his opinion the need for oxygen caused them to break apart, Sam gasping for breath while Dean simply trailed his mouth down the side of Sams neck. Sam moaned softly, head tilted to the side to give his big brother more access to the flesh. "So handsome...responsive..." He vaguely heard Dean mumbling as Deans teeth nipped and his tongue laved at the already bruised flesh. Sam all but purred as Deans mouth moved to his adams apple, nipping and sucking on it. "De." He gasped out, eyes clenched shut as he pressed his head back into the mattress. "fuck." Deans hands roamed down his sides, slipping beneath his shirt and slid up, his fingers pinching Sams nipples and tugged at them until they were hard little nubs. Sam arched into the touch, meowling in response._

The memory was so real...so good that he could almost feel Deans hands on him. Sam didn't know when his eyes had drifted close but he slowly opened them, gasping at the sight before him. There in all his glory was Dean, Sam blinked and glanced towards the clock. It was only noon. "De?" He whispered, gasping when Deans fingers tugged at his nipple. "Lunch break...Wanted you...so bad...couldn't wait." Dean whispered and using his free hand gently guided Sam towards the bed. "Do you want me?" Dean asked, staring up into his brothers darkened eyes. "Gods...yes." Sam replied and Dean grinned before he stretched up covering Sams mouth with his and turned, gently pushing Sam down onto the bed. Sam didn't have time to protest because Dean quickly stripped and climbed over him on the bed, lips sucking on the already love-bitten flesh. "Mm! De..." Sam gasped out, the flesh tender already from the recent abuse. "Yes?" "If...If you keep that...ohgod up...it'll never..mm. Heal." Dean smirked as he pressed a tender kiss to the love-bite. "What if I don't want it to?" He purred into Sams ear, grinning when Sam bucked against him.

"Someones eager." Dean whispered, nipping at Sams chest as his mouth moved lower. Sam cried out in pain and pleasure when Dean bit down on his chest and began sucking, his tongue laving over the flesh as he did so. "De!" Green eyes snapped down, moaning at the sight he saw. Deans eyes were closed in bliss as he sucked on Sams chest, his prick red and swollen rubbing against Sams clothed one. "De..." Sam whimpered, bucking against his brother. Deans hands deftly undid his jeans, reluctantly pulling away from Sams chest where a newly formed love bite was. Dean smirked at his work before he tugged Sams jeans and boxers down. "So fucking sexy...gods.." Dean whispered from where he was kneeling between Sams legs. Sam flushed as Deans hazel eyes roved over his body, lingering on the love bites and his swollen throbbing prick. "Sammy...Want you to fuck me...you want that?" Dean moaned as one hand moved up Sams thigh to grip his prick, stroking it slowly. "Yes!" Sam moaned out, squeezing his eyes shut.

Dean chuckled, a deep rumble bubbling from his chest. Sam opened his eyes only to shut them again as he saw Dean lean forward slightly and his left hand disappear from view. The moan that escaped Dean told him all he needed to know, Dean was stretching himself. "Sammy...Open your eyes babe." Dean gasped out, somehow the command still being clear. Sams eyes opened of their own accord. "God...Sammy want you in me...filling me...claiming me...mm can't wait to feel you..." Sam moaned, shifting on the bed as he watched his brother fuck himself on his own fingers. "De...want you...gods." Dean smirked and shifted, his left hand reappearing as he stretched over Sam to grab the lube. He coated Sams prick with it before crawling up his brothers lap, straddling him. "Ready babe?" Dean whispered, waiting until Sam nodded. Dean shifted and lined Sams dick up to his entrance, moaning as the head brushed the tight ring of muscles. Sam barely had time to breath before Dean thrust himself down roughly, taking Sam to the hilt on the first thrust and Sam cried out in surprise as Dean cried out..in what Sam was sure was pain. "De! Are you ok!" Sam asked, fog lifting slightly. "M'fine...Just give me a sec babe." Dean purred, leaning forward slightly to press a chaste kiss on Sams lips.

Sam made sure to grab him, holding him still to give him more time to adjust. "De...Foolish...you coulda been hurt...bad." Sam chastised him, rubbing his back. "I'm fine Sammy...only you..." Sam knew what Dean meant, Dean only bottomed for Sam...only ever would. Sam shifted them, rolling gently so Dean was on bottom and Sam was settled between his legs. Deans body relaxed some, which told Sam this position was more comfortable for Dean. "Shh...lemme take care of you." Sam whispered, planting soft chaste kisses across Deans face as he waited until Dean thrust down, the sign it was okay to move. "Love you...foolish idjit." Sam whispered into Deans ear before he began to thrust gently in and out of Dean. Sam didn't want to hurt his brother, and loved the low moans Dean was making each time Sam brushed past his prostate. "Only a Idjit for you.." Dean moaned out, his arms wrapping around Sams shoulders fingers digging into his brothers back.

Sam continued the gentle thrusts until Dean moaned out "faster...please..gods." Sam smirked "Your wish, My command." It was always what Dean whispered to him when they were making love, Sams thrusts increased in speed, slowly at first then faster. Deans moans increased as well as Sams grunts as the bed rocked with their force. "So..close...Sammy!" Dean gasped out, clutching at Sam even more and thrusting back harder. Sam grit his teeth, a low groan escaping him "De! Can't...hold...it." Dean was tight, nearly as tight as a virgin...and it was impossible to keep calm. "Its okay babe...right...there...SAM!" Dean cried out as his orgasm hit, his entrance clamped down on Sam causing Sam to cum, crying of "DE!" Sam forced himself to keep thrusting them through their orgasms, collapsing on top of his brother. Sam gasped out for breath, slowly pulling out of his brother while kissing his neck. "Best...lunch..surprise...ever." Sam whispered while rolling to the side. Dean chuckled at that but it came out breathless. "Best lunch ever.." Sam smirked. "Love you, De." "Love you too Sammy."

"Well, isn't that just sweet. Never knew you bottomed Dean." Came the familiar drawl of Castiel. Dean quickly pulled the covers over Sam and glared as he slowly sat up, blocking Castiels view even more. "What do you want Castiel?" Dean growled out, placing a hand on Sams leg to keep him down. He didn't want Sam giving the angel the honor of getting a response from Sam. "Just came to give ya'll a chance." "Oh and what chance is that?" Dean bit out. "Well, you can either accept and worship me as your new lord... Or well...Die." Dean snorted "Right. Why would we worship you?" Dean asked at the same time Sam said "And what would you want? What will it take for you to leave me and Dean alone for good?" Castiel glanced between the two of them, smirking. "Well Samuel, if your offering..." "No!" "Yes." Dean looked at Sam

"What?" "So you agree? To a one time threesome?" Castiel asked, eyes roaming over the very naked Dean before going to Sam. Dean stared for a moment. "So...If we...sleep with you one time...and claim you as our lord...not god...you'll never bother us again?" Dean asked slowly. Castiel nodded and Dean glanced towards Sam. "De...Please...We could start our life with no drama after this...please." "Fine. But you have to give us a few days." "Of course of course, I'll give young Sam some time to recover from you fucking him. After all, we wouldn't want to fuck him raw now would we?" With that, Castiel was gone.

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><p><em>An: So. What do ya'll think? Betcha didn't see that twist coming did you? So what do ya'll think of a Castiel/Sam/Dean threesome? Do you think 'evil Castiel' will stick to his word? How he became powerful will be explained in the next chapter. R&R_


	15. Of Things We Do

Chapter fifteen: Of Things We Do

Disclaimer: I own Chris, original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fuck!

Warnings: Graphic scenes. Strong language.

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><p>Dean turned slowly towards Sam, his eyes narrowed and body tense. He didn't know how they'd get out of it, he didn't want to share his Sammy. He didn't want another man touching what was his. He'd worked hard, all his life protecting Sammy from bad things, sometimes he failed his little brother and other times he didn't. He was feeling as though this, this was his greatest failure. How could he not have seen the obsession? Castiel was obsessed with Sam, that much was obvious. Dean was aware of Sam curling in on himself, flinching from the rage and hatred burning in his eyes. This alone broke Deans heart, crushed it into a million pieces and caused his body to sink. He was pissed sure, but not at Sam. Slowly he pushed a hand towards Sam, running it up his sheet covered leg and back down, fingers digging into Sams flesh. "D...De?" Sam whimpered out, peering at him from beneath his lashes. Dean continued to rub his leg, staring off at the wall while his thoughts churned in his skull. He wasn't aware of his grip tightening until a soft, barely there pained whimper reached his ears. His head jerked to his left quickly, blinking owlishly at Sams face then down at his hand.<p>

Dean didn't even think before he jerked his hand away as if he'd been burned, glancing at his brother and at his own hand over and over. "De?" Deans head snapped up, hazel eyes locked with watery green ones, glistening with unshed tears. "I...God..." Sam choked out, tears spilling over his lashes and running down his cheeks. Dean reacted then, crawling up the bed over Sam, pushing his brother down onto the mattress and laying on top of him, his right hand moving up to brush the tears away with his thumb on one side of Sams face while Dean leaned down and kissed the others away. "Shh...It's alright." He spoke softly, continuing to rub his thumb across Sams cheek bone as he stared into his baby brothers eyes. Dean watched as Sam shook his head, sniffling lightly. "No...Its not. I just...I forced your hand into agreeing..I know you agreed so he'd not get me alone." Sam whispered so softly Dean barely heard him.

Sam was grateful for the solid weight that was Dean, it was the only thing keeping him grounded...sane at the moment. Sam knew Dean had chosen to lay on him for a reason, instead of beside him. "Shhh. I'd go to hell for you if it came down to it Sammy." Dean whispered in reply and Sam knew he was telling the truth. Dean had gone to hell for him, sold his soul before so Sam would live. "I know." Sam replied, voice cracking on the last word. "Just think...After this we can move...go somewhere he won't find us...Start a new life pain free. Remember?" Dean asked, leaning down to press a kiss to Sams eyelids when his brother closed his eyes, sighing at the feel of his brothers hand caressing his face. Sam nodded slightly at this "Yea...Monster free too." He added, opening his eyes and glancing away.

Dean watched as Sam turned his head away and he bit his lip, knew that Sam was ashamed. "Babe.." He whispered hoping it'd get Sam to look at him, when it didn't he tried again "Sammy...Please, look at me." Sam slowly turned his head back, looking into Deans hazel eyes. "What's going on in that big head of yours?" Dean asked, shifting to lay next to his brother. He slipped a arm under Sams back and pulled until Sam was tucked up against his side, half laying on Dean. Sam draped one arm across Deans waist and his chin on Deans chest. He took a deep breath, looking down to study the freckles that littered his brothers skin. "I'm scared." Sam said quietly, feeling when Dean sucked in a deep breath. "Of?" Was Deans quiet question. "That...you won't want me...not after he has me." Sams voice dropped as he spoke, cracking on the word 'want'.

Dean tensed at this and felt as if his heart was being smashed with a sledge hammer. It wasn't fair to Sam for him to have to go through so much shit. Dean knew he wasn't even really beginning to recover from the latest abuse he'd suffered and now Castiel was inflicting pain on Sam. Sam started to pull away when Dean didn't answer at first but was stopped when Dean tightened his hold on him. "Sammy...god Sammy.." Dean whispered brokenly. "I will ALWAYS want you, no matter who touches you, it doesn't count Sammy...they can't taint or claim you because you're already claimed. By me. You own me Sammy, my heart...body...soul...mind. I know you think I'll get sick of picking up the pieces, get bored of you but I swear to you babe. That will never, ever happen so long as I still live and breath. Without you, I'm pretty sure I'd die. Those...men that hurt you, used you. That wasn't your fault baby, that was because I failed to protect you like I swore I would. Don't you think for one mil-second, that Castiel touching you, having you will cause me to love you any less. I'll be right there with you, I'll make damn sure he doesn't hurt you. If he does I'll find someway to kill him painfully and slowly."

Sam listened silently as Dean responded to his concerns, breaking down any doubts in his mind that Dean didn't truly love him. Sam smiled softly at the end of Deans speech, shifted on the bed to press his mouth over Deans, tongue running across Deans lips until his brother parted his lips and Sam slipped his tongue into Deans mouth to caress his tongue before teasing and leading it into Sams mouth where he let Dean take control of the kiss. Dean shifted them so he was above Sam, tongue tangled with Sams swallowing the low moans that escaped Sam as they kissed. Sams hand slipped into Deans short hair holding him in place, while his free one wrapped around his shoulders pulling him closer. Deans hand drifted down Sams side, pushing the sheet that covered him down as it went. Too soon the need for oxygen caused them to break the kiss, Sam gasped for breath as Deans mouth trailed down his throat, kissing the love-bite that was already marking the flesh before he continued further down.

"De...Gods." Sam knew he was in for delicious torture, Dean always took his time with Sam. It was something Sam loved, and hated at the same time. He didn't know why his brother was so thorough, but he'd never complain to Dean about it..well not being serious anyways. Deans tongue slipped into his belly button, thrusting in and out as Dean tongue fucked his belly button causing Sam to moan low in his throat, eyes clenched shut as his fingers tightened in his brothers hair. "Gonna make you feel...so good Sammy." Dean murmured against his stomach, nipping the flesh gently. Sam groaned in response, bucking his hips upwards. "Always do, De." Sam moaned out, his hands moving to grip the sheets of the bed as Dean trailed kisses along his thighs and calves, tongue brushing against his entrance on the way back up causing Sam to gasp and thrust down. "De...Please!" He cried out, wanting to feel Deans tongue inside him.

A low deep chuckle was his answer from below. "So eager Sammy." Dean replied before he licked Sams puckered entrance again, gently prodding it with his tongue. "Fuck." Sam groaned, pushing down as he pressed his head into the mattress. "Oh believe me...we'll get there." Dean replied, smirking as he sucked lightly on Sams entrance, teeth gently nipping the ring of muscle causing Sams body to twitch and a loud moan to rip from his brothers throat. "What do you want, Sammy?" Dean asked, licking the bottom of Sams throbbing prick. "More!" "Ah Ah. What do you want me to do babe?" Sam groaned, shifting on the bed. "De...please!" "Tell me babe." Dean wanted to slowly get dirty talk back into the bedroom, he knew Sam used to love it. "I want..." "yes?" "Your tongue...in my ass...now" Dean chuckled "Your wish...my command." Dean whispered before disappearing between Sams thighs again and Sam jerked when he felt Deans tongue slowly forcing its way inside him. "GOD! DE! YES!" Sam cried out, pushing down and moaning when he felt Dean curl his tongue up before wiggling it from side to side.

Dean smirked against Sams flesh, slipped a hand up the inside of his brothers thigh allowing his finger to stroke the flesh there before one finger joined his tongue inside his brother, using it to constantly brush against his brothers prostate while he continued to tongue fuck Sam. Sam gasped "De!" It came out as a moan as he thrust down towards Deans face as he clenched the sheet in his hands. Dean pulled his mouth away just long enough to say "Cum for me Sammy..." Before thrusting his tongue in and out of Sam faster. Sam tensed, gasped and his entrance tightened as his orgasm hit. Dean continued to tongue fuck him through it, his finger brushing his prostate. Once Sam sagged into a boneless lump Dean pulled away and crawled up the bed next to Sam. "So gorgeous." Dean whispered, brushing Sams sweaty bangs from his face. Sam smiled lightly at his brother before noticing Dean was still hard. "De.." "Shh..Don't worry about me Babe...I wanted to take care of you." Dean whispered softly, using his dis-guarded shirt to clean Sam off while he pressed feather light kisses to Sams collar bone. "Mm...You're too good to me." Sam muttered as his hand stretched down and lightly gripped Deans prick, stroking it. When Dean tried to protest he tightened his hold "Please...De...I want to." Dean looked into Sams eyes, and saw the desire...the need and nodded kissing Sam lightly before burrowing his face into Sams neck.

Sam smiled as he continued to stroke his brother, thumb running across the head when he reached the top before he moved his hand down again. Dean began to buck into his hand, groaning into his neck. "Sh...Just let go big brother." Sam whispered into the top of Deans head. He knew Dean was trying to hold his orgasm back, to make it last. Sam didn't care if Dean came like a virgin, he just wanted to please him. Dean moaned and thrust into his hand faster while Sam stroked him. "Sa..ammy" Was the breathless moan before Dean was cumming, covering Sams hand and leg as he arched forward. Sam continued to stroke him through it, and once Dean sagged he drew his hand up and licked it clean causing Dean to moan out "So sexy." He used Deans dis-guarded shirt to clean off his leg before he pulled Dean to him and just held him while Deans arms wrapped around his waist.

Ten minutes later Sam blinked, and glanced down at Dean who was just idly petting his hip. "Don't you still gotta work today?" He asked, causing Dean to look up and chuckle "I'll just tell Devon that my lover seduced me." Dean replied with a sexy smirk. Sam chuckled and leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss to Deans mouth. "Ain't that what happened though?" Dean nodded "Yes...my Sexy, irresistible, loving lover needed me to make him feel loved. How ever could I resist worshiping his god like body?" Sam smiled "Sounds like you're describing my lover." Dean smiled and pulled Sam closer to him "So your lover is a Sasquatch too?" Sam snorted "No, mine is a blonde Greek god." Sams free hand caressed Deans face before his brother stretched up and claimed his mouth in a heated kiss.

When they broke apart both were breathless, but neither seemed to care. Silence stretched between them for several minutes where both just petted the other. Sams hand ran up and down Deans side, while Deans thumb rubbed circles over Sams hip. "De?" "Hm?" "I'm Scared..." Sam admitted quietly. Dean didn't need to ask to know what he was talking about. Dean pulled him against him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder "I know babe. I'll be right there with you...protecting you. I swear." Sam stared down into Deans eyes, searching for something. Dean didn't know what Sam was looking for, but after a second it seemed he found it because he rolled on top of Dean and covered his mouth with his own, running his tongue across Deans bottom lip. Dean allowed access, and they battled for dominance before Sam conceded and Dean rolled them so Sam was on bottom as their tongues wrestled and tangled together.

Deans hands were braced on each side of Sams hips, holding his weight off his brother for the most part. Oxygen caused him to break the kiss, kissing down Sams neck. "De..." Sam gasped, fingers digging into his brothers sides. "Hm?" Dean asked between kisses. "I'll always be yours..right?" Dean stopped his trail of kisses, and pressed his lower half against Sams. "Feel that?" He asked, Sam nodded "That's for you..only you. I told you Sammy, you own me. I'll keep you, want you, until you order me away." Sam smiled and pulled Dean down on top of him, wrapping his legs around his brothers waist moaning at the feel of the head of Deans prick against his entrance. "Sammy...No..." Sam frowned. "You need a break, to keep from being fucked raw...I don't want to hurt you." Dean whispered pressing a kiss to Sams chest. "Fine...I can see you don't want me." Sam released his brother and pushed him off of himself before he went to roll over on his side. Dean sighed from where he was, watching as his brothers body shook and a soft sob could be heard.

Glancing to the sky I growled "I fucking hate you Castiel." He just wanted to make sure Sam wasn't sore, had time to recover before Castiel had his way with him. Dean shuffled over, wrapping his arm around Sams waist ignoring that Sam struggled trying to pull away from him. "Sammy stop...please." Dean begged, ducking an elbow that was aimed for his face. When Sam didn't stop he rolled them so his body weight was holding his brother down into the mattress, his prick digging into his brothers ass cheek. Sam froze then, glancing over his shoulder. "D...De?" He whimpered. "Shh...Please Sammy...If I get off you will you listen?" Dean asked, his hand rubbing Sams shoulders. Sam nodded slightly and Dean rolled off him, waited until Sam was facing him. "Sammy...I do want you...I just don't wanna hurt you. If you're raw and sore...when Castiel takes you, it'll hurt probably more then he already plans it too. Don't you see? I want to limit the amount of pain he causes you. I want you, god I want you...I always will." Sam didn't seem convinced. "I just...I want to feel your love De..." Sam whimpered. Dean stared at him for a few moments before sighing.

However what he was going to say was interrupted by the rustle of wings. "I've been watching. How about we do it tonight?" Castiel, no matter how much an asshole he was, didn't like seeing Sam in pain. He knew as well as Dean the insecurities that Sam had. "Why should we?" Dean snarled, covering Sam once again. "Because Dean. Despite the fact you think I'm an asshole now...and I broke into Purgatory to consume the souls there, to make me god. I still care about both of you. I don't like seeing Sam upset no more then you do. If we do it tonight, I'll be gone sooner and you can take Sam to your and his hearts are content." He glanced between them both, and Sam reached out to squeeze Deans shoulder.

"Fine." Dean replied, knowing that Sams squeeze was his agreeance. Castiel smirked before he vanished his clothes and moved towards the bed. Dean and Sam scooted over, Sam in the middle of the bed. Castiel slipped in behind Sam. "Just focus on me Sammy." Dean whispered into Sams ear as he pressed a kiss below it, smirking when Sam moaned and stretched his head to the side. Dean glanced towards Castiel and nodded. Castiels fingers slipped into a jar of lube that'd appeared on the night stand. Deans mouth trailed down Sams neck and chest, tugging lightly on his nipples while Castiels mouth trailed down his back, slipping lower and lower right along with Dean. Sam was moaning and gasping, pressing towards Dean as he tried to ignore the second mouth on him. Cold wet fingers prodded his entrance just as Deans mouth covered his prick. Sam moaned and thrust towards Deans mouth as the fingers inside of him twisted and scissored, stretching him. "De...De" Sam gasped out, hand clenched around Deans own. "Yes Babe?" "Wa...want you in me too..." Dean glanced towards Castiel, who blinked down at Sam. "You sure Samuel? That will hurt more..to stretch for both of us." "I.." "Sammy..how about you being in me?" Dean offered, knowing Sam hadn't thought of the pain. Sam nodded and Castiel shot Dean a smile knowing Dean was thinking of Sams comfort. Dean began stretching himself, slicking his fingers in the lube while he moved back down and continued to press kisses to Sams stomach, legs and prick. "De...Please..."

Once Dean was sure he was stretched good enough laid down on his back, pulling Sam on top of him. Sam leaned down, covering Deans mouth with his while Deans hands clutched at his shoulders and back, rubbing up and down his skin. Sam slowly pressed himself into Dean, pausing whenever he felt his brother tense. The process was slow, and Castiel for his part waited patiently, growing harder at the sight of the two brothers. Their love for each other was obvious to anyone with eyes. The way Dean urged Sam on with little moans and gasps, thrusting down onto him or pulling his hips towards Dean. When Sam was in to the hilt Dean glanced at Castiel and mouthed "Go slow." To him as Sams face was buried in Deans neck, sucking on the flesh. Castiel nodded and slipped behind Sam, kneeling between his thighs. Castiel made sure Sam was stretched as best he could, before slicking his prick up generously with lube. He loved Sam, even if the man would never love him. "If I hurt you...tell me Samuel..Please?" Sam whimpered at his voice and pressed closer to Dean which caused Castiels heart to clench. Dean rubbed soothing circle in Sams back. Castiel pressed the head of his prick against Sams entrance, frowning at the panicked whimper that escaped the man.

Castiel glanced towards Dean, who was whispering soothingly into Sams ear, even nipping at the ear lobe. He could see the pain in Deans eyes, feel Sam shaking from fear. He didn't want to hurt either of the men, but he knew this was the only way he'd ever get Sam. Castiel paused his progress, staring into the hazel eyes that stared at him when Sams whimpering increased. Dean raised an eyebrow at him, continuing to rub his hands along Sams sides. Castiel never thought it possible, but he felt his cold heart melting, breaking from the scene below him. He could see Dean thrusting up against Sam every few moments, Sam gasping told him Dean was squeezing him with his channel. Castiel took a deep breath and continued to push inside Sam, slowly until he was in to the hilt. He could see the tears dripping down onto Deans chest, could hear Dean trying to sooth his brother with whispers.

"Shh Sammy...I know babe I know." "I feel so dirty...yo...you wo...wont want me now!" Sam sobbed tears dripping down onto Deans chest. Dean didn't know why Castiel went through with it, he'd seen the angel hesitate, saw the regret in those cobalt blue eyes. It just made Dean hate the angel even more. "Shh Sammy I told you. This doesn't mean anything, It doesn't taint you...dirty you. I still want you, need you." Dean whispered, thrusting up against Sam to prove his point. "Can't wait to reclaim you. Prove to you that you're mine. Remember, you own me." Sam hiccuped, thrusting down into Dean ever so slightly which caused Castiels prick to be dragged out and Sam to freeze. "Shh Sammy, focus on me. Ignore him, fuck me Sammy...make me scream your name babe." Sam shuttered at the feel of another man inside him, but he locked eyes with his brother before he pulled back, fucking himself onto Castiels prick.

He thrust back down into Dean roughly, causing Dean to moan and thrust up to meet his brothers thrusts. Sam continued to fuck himself back onto Castiel before thrusting into Dean roughly, moaning at the combined feeling. Castiels fingers dug into Deans calves as Sam fucked himself between the two of them, forcing himself to remain still. He knew if he moved it'd scare the younger man, and he didn't want the feeling to stop. "Gods! Thats it Sammy! Fuck me! Harder! OhhhYes." Dean moaned, as Sams thrusts increased in speed and strength, brushing across his prostate on each thrust. Castiels prick kept stabbing into Sams each time he drew back, causing stars to flash before his eyes. "So close De..." Sam moaned, pounding into Dean rapidly. Dean moaned and gasped, digging his fingers into his brothers sides. "FUCK! Me...to Gods Sammy..fuck." Sam smirked as he thrust rougher into his brother, leaning down to bite one of his nipples causing Dean to cum, his channel tightening around Sam. "SAMMY!" Dean cried out as his channel milked Sams orgasm from him, which tightened around Castiels prick while Sam fucked Dean through his orgasm. Castiel pulled his prick out before his orgasm hit, instead he came into his own shirt.

Dean gave Castiel a weird look and Castiel smiled softly "Hes yours...not my right to claim him." He commented to the unasked question. Sam smiled into Deans neck at Castiels response, perhaps their angel friend wasn't completely lost. Sam pulled out of Dean slowly, Castiel shifting out from behind him. Sam collapsed next to Dean, wrapping his arms around his big brothers waist after cleaning him off with the sheet. "Thanks...Castiel." Dean replied, glad he didn't have to worry about Sam claiming he was tainted with another mans spunk. "You own his heart Dean, It's obvious. I just wish he loved me like he loves you." Castiel replied before he stood from the bed and vanished.

Dean pulled Sam tightly against his side, pressing a kiss to his brothers forehead. "See...still all mine. Even he knows he has no claim to you Babe." Sam nodded and rubbed his face against Deans chest. "Should we worry about him coming back? He is 'god' now...ever since he broke into purgatory." Dean shook his head "I dunno...But if he does, we'll deal with it. Its just me and You babe. That's all that matters. Your happiness." Dean brushed a few stray tears from Sams face. "What took him so long?" Sam asked, referring to Castiel penetrating him. "I think he was having second thoughts. He saw the pain he was causing you and stopped. Perhaps hes not lost to us completely?" Dean replied, brushing Sams hair from his face. "Perhaps..." Dean chuckled at the doubt in Sams tone. "Sleep babe. I'll be here when you wake." Sam nodded and allowed sleep to claim him, while Dean remained awake and alert, guarding his sleeping angel.

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><p><em>AN: So, what do ya'll think? Seems Castiel isn't as cruel as he tries to act like. He might be back around..might not. R&R. Oh and if you missed it in the chapter, Castiel got his powers from consuming the souls from purgatory._


	16. You Don't Know

Chapter Sixteen: You don't know

Disclaimer: I only own Chris and Devon. Original Characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fuck!

Warnings: Strong language

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><p>Dean woke early the next morning to his stomach grumbling, as well as Sams. He sighed lowly, slipping from the bed and pulling on clean boxers, wincing at the pain that shot up his back. It was a good pain of course, reminded him of Sams claim on him. He quietly made his way to the kitchen, let Sirius outside before he moved to the ice box and pulled out the milk, and went to pantry to grab the pancake mix, as well as the chocolate chips and a large bowl. He figured Sam deserved his favorite pancakes for breakfast, after last night. Sam woke to the smell of Pancakes drifting in from the kitchen, his brows furrowed before he slowly slipped from the bed. Wincing at the pain in his ass, a hitched sob escaped him as he pulled his boxers on. He'd actually let some other guy take him...granted he'd been fucking Dean.<p>

Sam smiled at the memory of that, Dean demanding Sam fuck him harder, faster. He was sure Deans ass was just as sore as his, if not more so. Sam walked into the dining room to find Dean setting two plates down on the table where a serving platter was filled with what looked to be Chocolate chip pancakes. "De?" Sam questioned, glancing between his favorite pancakes to Dean. Dean walked over and wrapped his arms around Sams waist. "Figured you deserved your favorite breakfast." Dean replied, stretching up to claim Sams mouth in a passionate but short kiss. "How long have you been up?" Sam asked as he allowed his brother to lead him to his chair. However Dean sank down in it, making sure it was far enough from the table before he pulled Sam down to sit across his lap. One of Deans arms wrapped around his waist while the other pulled one of the pancakes onto Sams plate.

Sam raised a brow at Deans behavior. "A few hours...now dig in." Sam blinked "What about you?" He asked, as he poured syrup over his pancake. "I just want to hold you." Dean replied, tightening his hold on Sam. It was then that Sam figured it out, Dean felt guilty that he let Castiel take Sam, that he didn't fight to stop him...that watching another man fuck his lover was harder on him then Dean had let on. "I love you." Sam said, ducking down to claim Deans mouth in a kiss, he even shifted around to straddle Deans lap. When they broke apart Dean smiled "Love you too." He reached behind Sam and brought a fork full of pancake up to Sams mouth. Sam rolled his eyes but took the pancake, moaning at the flavor.

Dean smirked as he reached back again, cut off another piece and held it up for Sam to eat again. Sam smirked and took the piece, leaning forward after he'd swallowed it and pressed a kiss to Deans mouth, tongue forcing his brothers lips apart. Dean moaned at the taste of chocolate chip pancakes mixed with the flavor that was strictly Sam. Dean set the fork back on the plate, pulling Sam against him as his tongue explored every crevice of Sams mouth, a hand burying itself In his brothers hair. Sams own arms wrapped around Deans shoulders, one hand holding Deans head in place as his eyes closed. Dean tried to breath through his nose, but sadly it didn't work and oxygen forced them apart. "Fuck Sammy..." Sam smirked "I seem to remember someone making this offer...to take me over the island counter?" He replied with a raised brow. Dean groaned "Your going to be the death of me." Dean whispered before he stood, bringing Sam with him.

Dean carried his brother into the kitchen, setting him on the top of the island counter. "After this...no sex for a few days." Dean declared, narrowing his gaze at Sam who nodded "Just need you now..." Dean understood clearly. Sam wanted him to erase the feel of Castiel in him. Dean pulled Sams boxers down, and grabbed the vegetable oil. It wasn't lube but it'd work. Coating his fingers he pulled Sams ass to the edge of the counter as Sam laid back across it. He didn't want this time to be drawn out, he wanted it fast and rough, like he'd fucked Dean the night before. Deans slicked fingers forced their way inside of Sam, twisting and scissoring as he peppered kisses over Sams stomach, smirking as his brother moaned and thrust down on his fingers. "Fucking sexy." Dean groaned at the sight of his brother fucking himself on his fingers, spread across the counter. "De please...I'm ready...fuck me...hard...fast." Sam moaned after Dean had been stretching him with three fingers for a few minutes. "Your wish, my command." Dean replied before he began pushing himself into Sam slowly. Once he was in to the hilt he paused to give his brother time to adjust.

Sam didn't need long before he was thrusting down onto Deans prick. "Mine." Dean growled as he pulled back and snapped his hips forward, driving into Sam. Deans hands grasped Sams hips to hold him still, Sam screaming out in pleasure as Dean continued to drive into him roughly, growling 'mine' over and over again. "Yours! Always Yours!" Sam agreed, thrusting down to meet his brother thrust for thrust. Sam gasped and moaned as Dean pounded directly into his prostate relentlessly. "Harder!" Dean smirked as he pounded into Sam harder and faster, even jerking Sam down across the counter on each thrust causing Sam to arch off the counter as he screamed out. Sam wrapped his legs around Deans waist, the angle letting Dean go deeper on each thrust. "Who owns you?" Dean growled against Sams throat, teeth digging into the flesh over Sams jugular. "Fuck! YOU Do!" "Who?" "DE! YOU DE!" Sam moaned out as Dean bit down harder and sucked the flesh into his mouth as he continued to pound into Sam. "De!" Sams channel tightened around Dean as his orgasm hit, but Dean continued thrusting in roughly, through Sams orgasm before he tensed "Sammy!" And released deep into Sam. Dean slowly pulled out, letting Sam slide off the counter to stand before him. Dean smirked and kneeled down, pulling Sams boxers back on and up. "Love you, Sammy." Dean whispered before kissing his brother chastely. "Love you too, De." Dean grabbed the hand towel and cleaned Sam off.

Sam slowly walked into the dining room again, gingerly sitting down in his chair. Dean smirked slightly, knowing how his brother felt because of last night. "I've gotta get ready for work baby." Dean said as he rubbed Sams shoulders. "Alright. You'll be home for dinner right?" Sam asked, tilting his head back to rest against Deans chest as he peered up. "Yes." Dean replied, leaning down and kissing Sams forehead. Dean walked into the bedroom then to take a shower and get dressed for work. Sam finished his breakfast sometime after Dean had left for work, and put the left over pancakes in the icebox wrapped. Sam let Sirius in, before heading to the shower.

Sam stepped into the shower and turned on the water, waiting for it to get to the right temperature before he stepped under the spray. Tilting his head back he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the water running over his body, relaxing his muscles as his mind ran through the events of the past few days. Sam loved it when Dean got dominant in the bed, and he was pleased with himself that during their morning sex that morning he didn't need to remind himself that it was Dean...because in his heart he knew. He didn't know how he knew, perhaps it was just the little things that others wouldn't notice. Like how Dean held his own orgasm back until Sam had his pleasure...how he cleaned Sam off after wards...little things.

Sam slipped out of the shower, wrapping the towel around his waist and headed into their bedroom. He glanced at the bed and shuddered...he'd totally be washing those today. It wasn't that the bed creeped him out, but the memory of Castiel tainting an area of the house that was strictly 'theirs'. No one else was ever supposed to be in their bed, in their sex lives...except them. Sam shook his head and walked towards the closet. It didn't take long for him to pick out his outfit for the day, a tight grey t-shirt with a storm cloud and lightning strike across the picture. He then pulled on his black boxers, and dark grey loose fitting jeans. (a/n: Outfit can be found on profile) He didn't know what exactly he'd do today..but figured a walk around the neighborhood was in order. Not much more could be done, without the car.

Oh sure, he could walk to the garage where Dean worked and borrow the car, perhaps that was what he'd do. Sam shut the closet after walking out, glancing towards Sirius who was settled next to the door. "Wanna walk boy?" Sirius perked up at the word 'walk' and barked, darting down the hall and into the living room. Sams laughter trailed after him, as Sam slowly followed down the hall and rounded the corner into the living room to see Sirius sitting next to the door, tail going a mile a minute. "Alright boy." Sam chuckled, lifting the leash from the hook next to the door. He bent over, clipping it to Sirius' collar, and waited a second before opening the door. Sirius lead the way outside, pausing long enough for Sam to shut the door before they were off.

Sam smirked as he glanced down at his dog, before he took off at a steady run. Sirius snorted and as the leash stretched to the length it was took off after his owner, quickly passing Sam and taking the lead. "Show off." Sam grumbled as they continued their run, Sirius in the lead but the leash slacked between them. Their run continued for several blocks, going up three blocks, over two and back down three before heading back over. They were just beginning the last block, and Sam slowed them down to a walk heaving in deep breaths as Sirius panted beside him. "Hey!" Sam blinked and glanced around before he tensed, noticing the man named 'Chris' jogging towards them. "Hi." Sam said as he continued walking down the sidewalk.

Chris fell into step with them, Sirius glancing back and his yellow eyes narrowed slightly...or so Sam swore. Of course he shrugged it off when the dogs head turned back around and he began sniffing at the grasses next to the sidewalk. "What do you want Chris?" He asked when the other man didn't speak, a glance out of the corner of his eye told him that he was eying Sirius oddly. "What the hell kind of dog is that?" Sam blinked. "He's a Rhodesian Ridgeback." Sam replied as if that explained it all..which it really did if one knew dog breeds. "Huh?" "Its a hound breed. Bred to fight off Lions in Africa, protect the tribes herds and homes. It can be used as a sight or scent hunting dog...as well as a guard dog." Sam quickly replied, glancing back over. "Oh...Cool." Was the slow response and Sam smirked at the fact that Chris was still confused.

It didn't take long before they'd reached Sams house, and after opening the gate he unclipped Sirius' leash and checked the mail box. Chris lingered at the gate for a moment, which had a sign secured on it that read 'Beware trained attack dog on property'. "He...is a trained a...attack dog?" Chris stuttered, eying Sirius who stared back at him. "Mhm." Sam replied, browsing through the mail. "He doesn't seem mean." "He doesn't see anything your doing as threatening to me or his home." Sam drawled as he re-latched the gate behind him. "Ah..Well see you." Chris said, heading off down the sidewalk. Sam simply nodded before turning to go inside with Sirius prancing beside him.

Sam shut the door behind him and placed Sirius' leash on its hook beside the door once more before heading into the kitchen to deposit the junk mail into the trash. He didn't know what Chris wanted, but so far Sirius had shown no signs that he was acting strangely...and Sam trusted his dog more then everyone...okay so everyone that wasn't Dean. Of course he really couldn't chose the dog over his brother..lover could he? After all before Sirius, it'd been Deans job to protect him, it still was to some degree. Now he just had Sirius to help lighten his burden.

Sam shuffled around the house for the rest of the day, watching tv or cleaning, he even went outside and tended to the yard some. However when dinner rolled around Dean still wasn't home. Sam frowned as he paced up and down the living room floor, glancing towards the clock on the wall every few minutes. Sirius whined from his perch on the couch, amber eyes watching his master pace. Sam sighed as he did yet another pass, circling at the ends. The clock on the wall read 'ten thirty' and Dean was suppose to have been home two hours ago. "Maybe works just keeping him late?" He asked Sirius who snorted in reply to this. "Your loads of help." Sam grumbled to the dog who simply whined. "Fuck this." Sam growled as he spun around, the clock read 10:45 as he strolled into the dining room. Lifting Deans plate from the table, food already dished out on it. He carried it into the kitchen and dropped it into the trash, brushing the plate off and ignoring the high pitched 'screech' that the fork caused as it dragged across the plate. He deposited the empty plate in the sink before sitting down to his cold dinner and frowned, no longer hungry he set the plate down on the ground and walked towards their bedroom leaving Sirius to the steak and potatoes on his plate.

Jerking the afghan off the end of the bed he walked into the living room and settled down on the couch, facing the front door after he'd shut off all the lights and locked the doors. Sam didn't know how long he laid there curled up on the couch, but he must have drifted off because he woke some hours later to the feeling that he was floating. His brows furrowed and hands tightened around some kind of cloth, his arms draped around a neck. Sam breathed in, Deans scent invading his senses. He was deposited gently on the bed, their comforter pulled up over him. He waited for Dean to turn around before he spoke "Finally decided to come home at..." He paused to glance at the clock on his night stand. "two in the morning." "Sam! Your awake!" "Obviously...So tell me Dean, where have you been?" He asked, pain coating his words even though he didn't want them to. "I've been at work babe." "Alright. Love you." Sam replied though he seriously doubted it. Who worked in a garage till two in the morning without calling their lovers? "Night Babe." Dean replied as he crawled into bed, pulling Sam to him and pressing a light kiss against the base of Sams neck.

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><p><em>an: R&R? What do ya'll think? Who loves them some Possessive Dean? What do you REALLY Think Dean was up too? Please leave comments. :D_


	17. The Last Goodbye

Chapter seventeen: the last goodbye

Disclaimer: I own only Chris and Devon, rest belong to Kripke. Lucky fuck.

Warnings: Implied Rape, violence.

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><p>Sam woke the next morning to find the bed empty beside him, cold to the touch. He frowned at this and wondered when Dean had got up and why didn't he wake him? He didn't know what was going on, but it didn't sit well with Sam. First Dean didn't come home when he said he was going too….and now this. A sigh escaped him as he tried to force away his doubt, force away unbidden thoughts. It didn't take long before Sam was dressed and in the living room, glancing around the house. It was quiet, the only sign that Dean had been there was the smell of brewed coffee lingering in the air as well as the fact that Sirius' bowl was filled.<p>

Sam sank down at the island counter and buried his face into his arms for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Whats he hiding from me?" Sam mumbled to no one really. Sirius was asleep on the couch, for once not trailing after his master. Sam shrugged off the counter, frame tensing as he remembered how happy they'd been yesterday morning…how…possessive Dean had been. "What if he changed his mind?" He wondered aloud, glancing towards their bedroom as he stood and moved slowly towards it….towards their closet. Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he quickly ripped the doors open, hesitantly opened his eyes. It took more effort then he cared to admit, the pain that had been building in his chest due to his own imagination vanished as his tear clouded green eyes fell upon Deans side, his clothes still there.

Of course Sam knew that meant nothing, he knew someone could leave and leave their clothes behind. Dean had done it before, they both had. Sam groaned at the thoughts and shook his head "No…He wouldn't." He forced out, shaking his head again as he spun around and headed back down the hall and into the living room. He wanted to know what was going on, why Dean was acting so out of character. Perhaps it was another shifter? Was Dean tied up somewhere? Dead? Pain blossomed in his chest at that thought. "No…I'd know." He grumbled to himself. He would know, he'd feel it if it was so. He didn't know how but he knew he'd feel it. It'd feel like a piece of him was missing.

"I can't stand this!" Sam growled out, causing Sirius to jerk awake and eye his owner wearily. Sam paced up and down the length of the living room before storming into their room and grabbing his keys, cell phone, and wallet before he headed for the door, locking it behind him. He knew that the walk would be long, and that he should have brought Sirius with him but he didn't wish to force the dog to come on such a long walk, it seemed cruel in some way. Sam made sure to duck his head down and move swiftly, long strides eating up the sidewalk below him. He didn't know what he'd say when he got there…to Dean….If Dean was there. He didn't know what to expect or to dread, his nerves were on edge and he was jumpy, twitching at every sound. The only thing he did know was he wanted to get to the bottom of this…whatever it was.

It didn't take as long as he'd thought before he was upon the garage, green eyes staring up at the large building as he stood frozen in the grass. "I can do this." He whispered to himself, shoving his hands into his pockets as he forced his legs to move, one in front of the other, deep breaths. Sams throat felt like it was closing, like he couldn't breath or think. He tripped and stumbled but a strong arm wrapped around his waist caught him and kept him from falling. "Woah there Sam" He knew that voice. Jerking away he blinked, shuffling where he stood. "Looking for Dean?" Devon asked and Sam nodded mutely. He knew Devon was giving him a weird look "Hes in the garage, third car from the left." Sam nodded. "Everything alright there Sam?" Pure concern laced Devons words and caused Sam to glance up, clear his throat and choke out a "I….don't know." Devon frowned at this and nodded "Go talk to Dean…Tell him I said take the rest the day off." He smiled slightly at Sam, concern still clear in his eyes. "Thanks…Devon" With that Sam was off again, forcing himself to breath. At least Dean was at work…that was good right? Right?

Sam walked into the garage, nodding to the few workers that acknowledged him with a quiet "Sam." Sam advanced on his brother who was currently leaning against the hood of the car he was working on, staring down at something with such concentration that Sam actually got up to his side and stood there, having to clear his throat before Dean started and gasped out "Damnit Sammy!" As he dropped the lug nut on the ground. "Whats wrong?" Dean asked after hazel eyes raked over his brothers ruffled figure. Sam stared at him "De…" He cleared his throat. "We need to talk….Devon said you could take the rest of the day off." "Sam…" But whatever retort he had died on Deans lips when he saw the pain in his brothers eyes. "Alright….Just let me clock out….go wait by the car babe." Dean replied, wiping his hands on the grease covered rag that was laying on the side of the hood. Sam nodded and started to turn, ready to go wait by the car when Dean grabbed his arm and tugged gently.

Sam turned to face him, confusion written on his face. "I'll only be a few minutes." Dean said and Sam nodded, trying to walk off again but found Dean hadn't let go of his arm. "De?" Dean stepped towards him then, not caring that the other guys were watching as he reached up and pulled Sams mouth to his, a brief kiss because Sam pulled away quickly as possible, shooting a glance at those watching. Dean frowned and let go of Sams arm, watching as he all but ran to the car. "Whats wrong with him Dean?" Devon asked from behind him. "I…Don't know honestly." Dean sighed, bracing his hands on the front of the car. "Hey." Daniel, one of his co-workers said from the car beside his. "Go talk to him. We'll handle the car Dean. Don't sweat it." Dean glanced at the other guys, noticing that they all nodded at his look. "Alright…" He was hesitant, not wanting to face whatever was bothering Sam but knowing he had too.

Dean sat the rag down and headed into the office, Devon following him a few seconds later. Dean walked over to the time cards and grabbed his, clocking out. "Dean" Dean turned towards his boss. "Take tomorrow off too, I'll still pay you but somethings obviously bothering Sam, for him to actually walk all the way here." Dean nodded. "Thanks Devon…I." "I know. We'll get the car finished. No one said anything." Devon smirked and Dean chuckled "I hope he likes it." "I'm sure he will Dean. Now go comfort your boy." Dean nodded and headed outside, walking to the impala to see Sam leaning against the side of the hood. Waiting with his arms folded over his chest. Dean walked up to him, bracing his arms on either side of Sam and leaning in until it caused his brother to lean back slightly. Dean smirked then and grabbed Sam by the waist, lifting him slightly and settling him on the car, standing between his legs.

"You going to tell me what has you looking like you're either ready to cry, or murder someone?" Dean asked softly, his tone barely more then a whisper. Sam stared past his shoulder, silent. "Sammy….Please." Sam shook his head and Dean sighed, head dropping down to stare at Sams lap…head brushing his brothers chest. "Fine.. Will you talk to me at home?" Sam nodded slightly as Dean looked back up, and Dean resisted another sigh. He leaned forward to try and kiss his brother, but Sam turned his head to the side. Pain ripped through Deans chest causing him to gasp slightly before he clenched his hands into fists. "Get in the car." He all but growled out, walking around the front of the car and sliding into the drivers seat. Sam slid off the car and stood, shuffling from foot to foot outside the car before he finally opened the door and got in.

The drive was short, about five minutes and as soon as they pulled into the garage Sam was up and out of the car, pacing along the front of the hood. Dean frowned at this and killed the engine before he got out of the car, gasping as he was slammed against the side of the car as soon as he'd shut the door. "Sam!" Dean growled as his brothers hands tightened around his shirt, using his body to press Dean against the car. "Stop it!" Dean continue, trying to pry his brothers hands off him. "You lied." Sam growled lowly, dangerously low. Dean blinked at this, and stopped his attempt to pry his brother off him. How had he lied? Oh. Oh. OH! "Sam please…." "Where were you last night Dean?" Sams voice was still low, though not quite as much. "Sam.." "Answer me!" Dean didn't think it was possible to but some how Sam seemed to slam him against the car without even pulling him away, winding him again.

"Damnit Sam!" Dean grabbed his brothers hands and yanked them off of him, shoving Sam roughly away from him. Sam stumbled from the sudden shove and lost his balance, falling onto his ass with a pained gasp. "Sammy!" Dean rushed forward, feeling guilty for causing his brother to fall -even if he was just pinning Dean against the car- and reached out a hand to pull him up only to have it slapped away. "That does it." Dean reached down, jerked Sam up and dragged him through the house to their bedroom before shoving him down onto the bed. "You want to know where I've been last night? Do you really?" He snarled, glaring down at his brother. "Yes." Sam ground out and Dean laughed Bitterly. He shoved Sam so he was laying own in the center of the bed before he climbed over him.

Oh Dean was aware Sam was shaking, most likely with fear of his brother raping him. Of course that wasn't Deans intention…he'd never hurt Sam like that. Dean leaned down and bit harshly onto the love bite, causing Sam to scream and shift under him. "I" Dean kissed the bite mark. "Was" He licked it. "Fixing." He moved to Sams jugular and nipped "Up." He sucked on the flesh there. "Your." He lifted his head, nipping at Sams ear. "Fucking." He bit harder causing Sam to gasp and arch up against him. "Surprise" He moved to stare into Sams eyes. "Car." And he waited. Sam stared at him for a few moments before he blinked. "My…my car?" It came out breathless and Dean smirked "Yes." "And this morning?" "Working on your car." Sam blinked, tears welling up in his eyes. "Sammy! No no no no don't cry!"

Sam choked back a sob, reaching his arms up an pulling Dean down. "Shh…Baby I'm sorry." Dean thought the tears were from the fear, the fear that Sams worse nightmare had come to life….that the real Dean was going to rape him. "Thank you." Dean blinked. Huh? "For what babe?" Dean whispered, pulling back just enough to press a feather light kiss against Sams forehead. "My car…" Dean blinked again. He was crying over a car? "You sure your not a chick?" "Jerk" "Bitch" Sam chuckled slightly before he shoved Dean off of him. "Of course, if you ever and I mean ever. Act like you're going to rape me again, I will castrate you." Dean landed beside him with a slight 'oof' before he froze at the threat. "I…No you wouldn't." "Want to try me?" "I know you wouldn't." "Oh and how do you know that?" "You love my cock too much." Dean burst out laughing when Sam mumbled "Egotistical ass-munch"

"You know its true Sammy" "What?" "You love my cock too much to harm it." "No Dean." "What?" "I love you too much…besides…I know the real you would never rape me." "Damn right. No need to rape whats willingly given." Sam punched him lightly in the chest. "Ow! What it's true! You cant rape the willing!" "Who says I'm willing?" "You." "Oh yea? When?" "Does 'De! Make love to me! Claim me!' Ring a bell?" Dean imitated Sam in a high pitch girly voice. A girly shriek was heard then and Sams laughter echoed down the hall. "Sam!" "What? I didn't do it!" "Get your ass back here!" "Gotta catch me first Dean!" "Fucking sasquatch!" "Dean" "What?" "Sasquatch was slow." "fuck"

Sam bolted through the living room, or tried too really before he was tackled over the back of the couch and landed in front of it with a 'oof'. Dean landed on top of him and grinned down "Gotcha! Now for pay back!" "No!" Dean sucked one of his fingers into his mouth and with the other hand grabbed Sams arms and pinned them down - which was easier said then done - before he jammed his finger into Sams ear causing Sam to wriggle beneath him. "Say uncle!" "Never!" "Say it!" Dean shifted back and smirked, fingers dancing across Sams ribs. "Say it!" Sam bucked and thrashed, trying to throw Dean off of him to no success. "Okay okay!" "What was that?" "Uncle!" Sam cried through his laughter. Dean smirked and ceased his attack. "That's what I thought." Sam rolled his eyes "Unfair advantage." "Oh and that is?" "Your too sexy to dump on your ass." Dean smirked "Damn right." Before he leaned down, covering Sams mouth with his. Sams arms wrapped around his neck, holding him there as their tongues danced and caressed each others, mouths muffling the soft moan that Sam let escape as his fingers buried themselves in Deans short hair. Dean smirked as they broke apart, breathless. "Love you De" "Love you too, Bitch"

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><p><em>An: R&R Who liked Deans surprise? Whos pissed at Sam for forcing him to ruin the surprise? And of course we just had to have them get to their 'brotherly roots' and torment each other! Re-wrote this chapter, copying word for word from desktop...loads of fun._


	18. Someone Like You

Chapter eighteen: Someone Like You

Disclaimer: I own nothing.. well except Devon and Chris. Rest belongs to Kripke, lucky fuck.

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><p>To say the next morning was awkward was putting it lightly, both had fallen asleep on the floor. Sams body was numb from lack of blood due to the fact Dean was passed out on top of him. Waking up was slow, mind blurred and confused as to why he was on the floor…and why there seemed to be weight on him. As the memories of the night before came flooding back to him he groaned, shifting slightly as he forced his arms to work, pulling them out from under Deans hands which some how still had a grip on them. As he moved the painful tingling of nerves reawakening struck and he winced. "De" He whispered, using one hand to gentle shake his brother. "Fve mer mntes" Came the jumbled words, causing Sam to blink as he tried to process what Dean had said. As it clicked he shook his head "De, wake up." He hissed, shaking his brother again. "Go way." Dean grumped, nuzzling his face into Sams chest. Sam sighed and shifted, placing a hand on Deans shoulder and shoving as he rolled to the side knocking his brother off of him and causing his nerves to awaken and body begin to feel like thousands of needles were being stabbed into him at the same time. "Fuck.." He groaned.<p>

Dean jerked awake as he felt his bed moving and landed on the floor with a grunt, eyes opening slightly "What the hell." He growled, glancing around. "Why are we on the floor?" Sam just raised a brow at him in response as he shifted again, forcing himself to sit up despite the pins and needles feeling his body was suffering through. Dean shifted and sat up "Fuck." He groaned when the tingling began in his nerves, a glare shot towards Sam. "This is your fault." Sam glanced at him and snorted as he managed to get onto the couch. "How the hells it my fault?" "Dunno, just is." Sam shook his head and flopped back onto the couch, wincing when Deans hand brushed his leg setting off even more pins and needles as his brother got onto the couch as well. "You're the one who tackled me over the couch." Sam replied, head resting on the back of the couch yet facing his brother. "Yea and you're the one who shoved me off the bed last night." "You deserved it." "Did not." Sam snorted but before Dean could say anything had leaned over and covered Deans mouth with his own, hand cupping his brothers jaw.

Deans leaned into the kiss, moaning at the taste of his brother. Too soon they pulled apart and he scowled "that was cheating man." Sam smirked. "Nah." He then pushed up off the couch, the pins and needles feeling dieing down slightly. A hand was reached down for Dean, pulling him up when he took the hand. "I believe I owe you an apology." Sam whispered into Deans ear, nipping his ear lobe. "Mmm I believe so too." Dean replied, gasping as Sam nipped at his neck, his arms wrapped around Deans waist pulling him closer. "Bedroom?" Sam asked a he sucked gently on Deans collar bone, vaguely feeling his brother nod his agreeance. Oh, Sam could feel his erection growing as he continued his ministrations and smirked against his brothers flesh.

Sam walked Dean backwards towards the bedroom, Deans arms wrapped around his waist as well. Too soon Dean felt the bed hit the back of his legs and he fell backwards, tugging Sam down with him who braced himself as he landed. Sams mouth moved up, covering his own causing Dean to moan when he felt his brothers tongue probing at his lips which opened willingly. Sams hands roamed down over his brothers sides, slipping under his shirt as their tongues tangled, mouths muffling the moans they both released as he pushed Deans shirt up, breaking the kiss only long enough to push it off and toss it to the side somewhere. Sams eyes roamed over his brothers chest and stomach, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "My personal Adonis." He whispered before peppering kisses across Deans chest. Dean gasped as Sams mouth closed over one nipple, tongue circling it before he tugged gently with his teeth. Deans chest arched upwards as his eyes closed and hands clenched Sams shirt in fists before he tugged on the cloth. "Off.." He gasped.

Sam smirked at the demand that his shirt come off. Pulling back only long enough to shed it before he lowered himself down atop his brother, flesh against flesh. Deans hands roamed over his back as he returned to torturing his brother, smirking against his brothers flesh as he gasped or moaned. Moving down he used his tongue to trace words onto his brothers stomach, slowly after the first time. 'P. R. O. P. E. R. T. Y. O.F. S. A. M.' Dean moaned when he finally figured out what his brother was spelling out. "Yesssss" He half hissed out as Sams tongue dipped into his belly button. Sams hands were busy as he tongue fucked his brothers belly button, undoing his Jeans and tugging them and his boxers off as Dean lifted his hips to assist the best he could. Sam stared down at his brother then, smirking as he shifted under the gaze. "Sammy" Dean whispered causing Sam to lean forward, taking Deans prick in his mouth. Dean moaned and arched up, trying to resist thrusting into Sams mouth. "God…" He breathed out, hands burying into Sams hair as his brother bobbed up and down, tongue running along hardened flesh and focusing mainly on the sensitive head. Dean moaned when Sam deep throated him and swallowed around him, fingers tightening their hold. He knew he wouldn't last long, Sam always had a way of making him come apart. "Sammy…" He moaned out, body tensing before he was falling, Sam swallowed his release eagerly, licking him clean before moving up the bed beside him. "I love you." He whispered into Deans ear, pressing a kiss to Deans neck.

Dean glanced over to his brother and gave him a cocky smirk "Your such a girl Samantha." At the hurt look that crossed Sams face he sighed "Love you too." after all he might be an asshole but he would never try to hurt his brother on purpose…. Sam simply buried his face in Deans neck, and Dean allowed an arm to wrap around Sam, holding him close. He knew Sam wanted him to claim Sam, mark him…not because he could but because he was afraid that Dean would leave him, get bored and ditch him. A shaky breath echoed in his ear and he pulled his brother tighter to him, feeling his brothers erection against his hip. Dean rolled them so he was hovering over his brother, smirking down at him. "Fucking gorgeous." He whispered, hazel eyes roaming over his brothers exposed torso, lingering on the tattoo he had a match to. Sam released another shaky breath before it cut off into a moan as Dean leaned down and bit his neck, sucking on the flesh between his teeth. "De!" Sam gasped out, head tilted to the side exposing flesh. "Mine." Dean murmured against the flesh, tongue soothing the ache from his bite. "Yours.."

Dean smirked then and moved down, littering his brothers flesh with nips and licks, pausing only long enough to leave a love bite above their matching tattoo. Sam whimpered, shifting beneath him. "De…Please." Oh Dean was aware what his brother was begging for, what he wanted…needed. Dean nipped at Sams stomach before thrusting his tongue into Sams belly button, smirking when Sam gasped and arched as he repeated the action. "De!" Sam growled at the teasing, causing Dean to chuckle "So impatient." Before he slowly moved down, pulling his brothers jeans and boxers down and off, throwing them off in some random direction. Sam gasped when Deans tongue flicked over his entrance pressing into him causing both to moan. Sams hands clenched at the sheets beneath him, breathing coming in rapid succession as his brothers tongue thrust in and out, hips pressed down towards Deans face as he writhered on the bed. "De..please..Now." Dean didn't think his brother was ready, but a glance at his brother broke his determination.

"Alright babe." Dean whispered, moving up his brothers body. Fingers trailed up his side as Dean situated himself between his brothers legs, bracing himself with his arm as his free hand guided himself inside his brother slowly, hazel eyes roaming over every inch of Sams face for a sign, any sign that he was in pain. Once he was fully sheathed he waited, leaning down to place a kiss to his brothers chest on their tattoo. "De…move" Sam whimpered out, pressing against his brother. Dean smirked and pulled out slowly, before thrusting back in. Both moaned at this, the pace increasing slowly. Dean had to resist from letting loose and just pound into his brother, no this was about love. "De" Sam gasped, meeting Dean thrust for thrust. "My Sammy." Dean whispered against Sams neck, placing a kiss there before covering Sams mouth with his, muffling Sams moans and groans.

Sam shifted, wrapping his legs around Deans waist causing him to go deeper then before and loud moans to escape both men. Deans thrusts increased slightly, breaking the kiss he gasped as Sam clenched around him. "F…fuck Sammy…Don't do that." Sam smirked and did it again, Moaning at the feeling. "Sammy." "Fuck me De. Make me feel it for weeks." Sam whispered in his ear. Dean groaned at his brothers words, hesitating. Oh how he wanted to, but he didn't want to hurt his brother.. Sam squeezed him again and he moaned, moving once again though this time his thrusts were harder, rougher. Sam moaned at the feeling, arms wrapped around his brothers shoulders. "That's it. Oh yes. Fuck De!" Sam gasped between thrusts. Too soon in Deans opinion he could feel the heat building, tightening. "Come with me Sammy." Dean whispered, Sam groaned and tensed, clenching around Dean and drawing out Deans orgasm.

Dean slowly pulled out of his brother and collapsed beside him, pulling him close. "Love you." Sam murmured into his chest. "Love you too." Dean replied as his fingers idly stroked through his brothers sweaty hair, his arms wrapped around Sams body. Sam hmmed and nuzzled closer, draping his arm over Deans waist. Dean knew the chances of ever really finding someone else like his brother was unlikely, and while he'd never want to he knew that for some reason Sam seemed to have it in his head that he was replaceable. Though Dean didn't have long to think on it, sleep pulling him under shortly after Sam drifted off.

Dean awoke first later that day, smiling to himself when he felt the soft puff of breath across his neck from his brother. Dean was wrapped in Sams arms, who was curled around him from behind. Slowly and carefully he extracted himself from the bed, grimacing at the dried cum on his stomach. Glancing back at his brother when he heard a whimper, Sam was blindly searching the bed for his brother, before sighing and drifting deeper into sleep. Dean smiled fondly at his brother, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to Sams forehead. "Love you." He whispered, before heading to take a shower. After all he had work to get done, things to plan. It didn't take long to get everything set up, a few mere phone calls around town once he'd slipped out of the shower. Dean just hoped his brother would like it. A deep breath was taken, shaking his head. He knew Sam was easy to please when it came to him, after all he'd spent all their lives taking care of him…he knew Sam better then anyone.

Dean walked in their room and had to stop, leaning against the door frame as he watched his brother. Gorgeous was the only word he could think, as Sam stretched and groaned, arching up off the bed. Dean had to refrain himself, a low moan escaped though and caught his brothers attention. "De" It was said with such a bright smile that Dean was sure he was turning into a chick when he felt his heart skip. Sams hand extended towards him and Dean felt his feet betraying him as he crossed the room and grasped his brothers hand before leaning down to kiss him. Sam whimpered when Dean pulled back rather quickly. "Come on, get up and shower. We've got plans." To say Sam was confused, was putting it lightly but for once he didn't question it.

Sam got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower, leaving Dean in their room. Dean moved to the closet and glanced through Sams clothes, plucking out the black Jeans he loved on his brother as well as a dark green silk shirt that matched Sams eyes, tossing them onto the bed along with some boxers. It didn't take to long before Sam was exiting the bathroom and slipping on the clothes that had been laid out for him, only giving Dean a confused look. Dean smiled at his brother once Sam was dressed, forcing back a moan as hazel gaze raked over the toned frame. "Ready?" He asked, smirking at the confused look on his brothers face. "Sure." Sam replied, rolling his eyes at his brothers smirk before following him out to the Impala.

Dean slid into the drivers side as Sam copied him, getting into the passenger side. "Keep your eyes closed." Dean smirked, laughing when Sam scowled at him before closing his eyes. Dean knew it wouldn't take long to get where they were going but he drove circles to confuse his brother. It didn't take very long, despite the circles they went in before they arrived. Pulling into the parking lot he exited the car and walked around to the trunk, pulling out a basket before shutting it and waiting for Sam to get out of the car. "Come on Sammy." Sam sighed and exited the car "Can I open my eyes yet?" He huffed. Dean snickered "Yes." Sam opened his eyes and blinked, glancing around "De….why are we at a dog park?" Before Dean could answer, Bobby came walking over with Sirius at his side and silently handed the leash to Sam, nodded to Dean and walked off.

"er…" Sam blinked, glancing towards Dean. "Just follow me." Dean huffed, leading Sam out onto the beach. Sam followed his brother willingly, even speeding up to clasp their hands together, Sirius walking on the opposite side. Dean glanced at his brother, a ghost of a smirk tugging at his lips as he squeezed his brothers hand reassuringly. He was rather pleased that Sam would hold his hand in public, of course he really shouldn't have been. "Here we are." Dean said when they reached a random spot on the beach. Sam shot him a disbelieving look "De, it's" "Yes?" "I like it." He decided to go with instead, chuckling as Dean rolled his eyes and sat the basket down before he pulled out a blanket and laid it out across the sand.

The two had settled down on the blanket, Sirius curled up against Sams thigh with his head resting on his paws. Dean began pulling out food, starting with a Cobb salad. Sam chuckled because his brother remembered it was his favorite kind of salad. He unwrapped the bowl that the salad was in and set it down on the blanket as Dean pulled out Watergate Salad, Pie, fried chicken, strawberries, and a bowl of….chocolate? Sam raised his brow at that. Dean reached back into the basket pulling out Watermelon as well as southern red wine… Sam leaned across the blanket, pressing a chaste kiss to Deans lips before pulling back "What brought all this about?" He was honestly curious and if he was honest, slightly worried. Dean never went out of his way to be romantic. "Just figured you deserved a day out, a nice quiet day….just you and me." "And Sirius." Sam added, looking towards the dog that was sniffing at the chicken from a safe distance. "Yes, him too." Dean replied, smiling at his brother shyly. "I love it De. Thank you." Sam scooted closer to his brother, ignoring the annoyed huff their dog gave. Dean handed Sam his salad and a fork, while he picked up a piece of chicken causing Sam to roll his eyes. Though he didn't say anything, simply tucked into his salad.

They ate peacefully just enjoying each others company, Sam had ended up laying across the blanket with his head on his brothers lap once he'd finished his salad. He was content to just enjoy the quiet and his brothers company, amusing himself with watching Dean eat. Of course Dean was eating one handed, the other arm was draped across Sams stomach, fingers entwined with his brothers. Sam closed his eyes letting out a soft sigh as he shifted his head, nuzzling into his brothers thigh. Deans breath hitched and he glanced down at his brother, smiling at the sight that greeted him. For once in Dean didn't know how long Sam looked happy, truly happy. Leaning over Dean plucked a strawberry from its bowl and dunked it in the chocolate, running it across Sams lips gently. Sam slowly opened his eyes and smiled slightly before opening his mouth and taking a bite from the strawberry, moaning at the taste. Dean stared at his brother, unconsciously licking his lips as he offered the strawberry again and Sam took another bite. Sams tongue came out to lick at the chocolate left on his lips and Dean leaned down to press his lips against Sams. Tongue lapping up the chocolate before delving into Sams mouth, moaning at the combined taste of Sam, strawberries and chocolate.

Sam moaned into Deans mouth, one hand moving up to bury itself in his hair and to hold him there. Tongues battled for a brief time before Sam gave in, letting Dean dominate the kiss. Too soon for his liking they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Dean sat up again, running his fingers through Sams hair as he glanced at Sirius who was still laying where they left him, watching as people walked past and growling if someones eyes lingered to long on his master. "I do have to say." Dean whispered "I'm glad that dog likes me because it'd be hell if he hated me." He finished in a whisper. Sam chuckled "Of course he likes you. He knows you make me happy." Dean rolled his eyes even though they both knew it was true. Sirius would turn against him the moment he started causing Sam pain. The dog was protective, which helped ease some of Deans worries. Leaning over he plucked a piece of fried chicken up and tossed it to Sirius, who glanced at Dean for a moment before picking up the piece and began to eat it. Sam smacked Dean playfully "Your gonna give him bad habits. Like you." Dean smirked "But you like my bad habits." Sam chuckled but said nothing, not like he could deny it. "Only because I love you." He replied after several moments. "Mm. Its because you love me that I'm here."

Some would see that statement as romantic, and to some degree it was. However both boys knew how true that one statement was, Dean was alive and well because Sam loved him. He hadn't given up when he though all hope was gone. He fought and struggled on, never giving up until Dean was returned to him. For that, they were both grateful. "Which is great. Because I love you too." Dean added, and Sam smiled up at his brother. "I know. Jerk." Dean shot him a shocked look, but the twitching at the corners of his mouth gave away the fact he was amused. "Such cutting words after my confession of undying love! You lil bitch!" Sam couldn't help it. He burst out laughing.

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><p><em>AN: And! Scene. This was the last chapter of this story. Mainly because I don't want to many horrible things happening to the boys in one story. I might make a sequel if I get enough reviews. Hope ya'll enjoyed the ending!_


	19. Sequel is up

Sequel is up, and can be found in my profile.

Sequel to forever united is because you loved me

Sequel to BYLM is All we ever need


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